4 key habits to help you avoid the pitfalls of relationship struggles and build a deep, lasting connection with your man
Being in a relationship isn’t always easy. You’ve probably seen that research shows ~50% of married couples get a divorce!
With stats like that, how do you create a strong foundation for a relationship, one that enables you to deal with the ups and downs no matter how rocky the road gets?
While there’s no one method that will suit everyone, there are relationship pitfalls that consistently lead to disaster. If you can avoid those pitfalls, you’re going to build something great!
With that in mind, read on as my wife Irene and I reveal the four habits we learned from America’s Greatest Marriages; habits that have contributed to our own happy marriage.
In this article, I’ll share those habits and explain why using them will help you create an unbreakable relationship foundation…
Let’s get into it!
Take Turns Getting Crazy
Successful relationship habit number one involves handling arguments.
In a struggling relationship, it’s common to see both people getting mad at the same time. Both of you feel defensive, you’re hurt that your behavior has been confronted and you’re often wondering why the other person is so annoyed. It’s common to get wrapped up in your side of things… you might even forget what you’re fighting about in the first place!
One habit Irene and I use to avoid these situations is to take turns getting “crazy”— or, as Irene likes to say: “Emotion-full”!
When you both get defensive, arguments can quickly go downhill — which I’m sure you know! Which is why it’s so important for both people to practice giving their partner room to be upset sometimes. Allow the other person time to speak, acknowledge what they’re saying and look for the call to love. The call to love is basically the signal they’re giving you for what needs to happen. It tells you what action you need to take so they can feel complete love again.
If you can do this well, arguments will pass easily like clouds in the sky… and before you know it, the relationship will be sunny once more.
Shovel While the Piles are Small
Successful relationship habit #2 is all about being proactive.
Naturally, there’s always going to be some frustrations and irritations in a relationship… things that don’t get done, habits that irritate you. But the key is to not let these feelings build up! Address them while it’s small, deal with the problem and then move on.
The worst thing you can do is to not say anything when a small frustration happens, then keep it to yourself when it happens again… and then again…
Can you see how this can build the problem? It all gets bottled up and eventually that small frustration manifests as a big blow out argument.
Stay proactive, address small hurts and frustrations while they’re small, and your relationship will stay healthy for years and years.
Respect each other
While it might sound like a simple step, respecting each other is essential!
By “respecting each other”, I mean keeping agreements, communicating well and making sure you’re always playing on the same team.
To be respectful, it’s also important to know the difference between teasing and being playful. You can easily spot teasing in any situation where only one person is laughing… and the other is angry or upset. This creates disharmony in relationships and is actually a form of disrespect.
On the other hand, being playful is where both people are laughing. Play goes hand in hand with respect and is a big indicator of the health of any relationship.
Bring awareness to every interaction you have with your partner, and make sure you always treat them with respect! This will lead to the kind of deep, lasting connection with your man you long for.
Never stop dating
9 years into my marriage and 3 kids later, me and Irene still strive to never stop dating.
It’s important to have one-on-one time in a different environment than your home! It reminds both of you that you’re passionate partners, and it’s essential to healthy relationships.
It’s easy to forget how important this time can be with kids, long to-do lists, businesses to run, etc. Often you won’t even realize how much you miss that time until you have your next date!
But no matter what your situation (even in a pandemic), we recommend always finding a way to date, have fun and reconnect with each other just the two of you. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or particularly special, even just a walk together along the beach is enough to put everything else into perspective.
Habits for life
Stick with these habits and I’m confident you’ll build a strong, loving relationship that you’ve always dreamed of and that others will admire! I’d recommend reading this with your man so you can discuss points and how you can apply the habits to your lives.
And if you want to discover even more ways to connect with your man, understand what’s going through his mind and build a perfect relationship together, I encourage you to check out my Cracking The Man Code program to learn the hidden inner-workings of his heart and mind, so that you can build a deep and intimate connection with your man that spans the test of time!
Finally, before you go today, I’d love for you to share your advice with our community…
What habits have YOU found cultivate a happy, thriving relationship that lasts?
I’d love to hear!
In Your Corner,
Mat
