00;00;03;23 – 00;00;32;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

Welcome to the abundant coach. I’m your host, Lauren Berlin. This is a weekly podcast about creating full spectrum success with a thriving coaching business, while making a profound difference in the world. Each week, you’ll discover insights, strategies, and inspiration to help you attract your ideal clients. Facilitate real transformation in their lives, and grow your coaching business while living your purpose with true freedom and fulfillment.

 

00;00;32;11 – 00;00;53;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

Welcome to the Abundant Coach podcast. I have a very good one for you today because I have the opportunity to interview Brian Proctor. Brian was born in 1961, and that was the same year that his legendary father, Bob Proctor, was given the book Thinking Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, which began his father’s 60 year journey into personal development.

 

00;00;53;04 – 00;01;14;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

So for close to 30 years, Brian had the opportunity to work side by side with his dad and be on some of the world’s largest stage stages and the great thing is that for those 60 years, Brian and his dad were best friends. Brian is an early pioneer of email marketing. He he created an email list and started sending things out early, early before it was a thing in marketing.

 

00;01;14;20 – 00;01;32;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

So we’re going to talk about that a lot today. But also as an online marketer, Brian has been a top affiliate and generated millions of dollars in commissions through affiliate and joint venture marketing. I also want to share that he’s the author of this amazing book, My Father Knew the Secret, and we’re going to talk a lot about that today.

 

00;01;32;04 – 00;01;50;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

He also has a new book coming out called 12 Easy Steps to Change Your Life. He is the co-founder of Kelly Proctor Co, along with his wife, Corey Kelly Proctor, and he is just an all around amazing man and someone who deeply cares about helping others transform their lives. So I’d like to welcome Brian Proctor.

 

00;01;50;11 – 00;01;53;03

Brian Proctor

Well, I think you learn it is really good to be here with you as well.

 

00;01;53;06 – 00;02;13;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

I have so many questions for you, but the first thing I want to ask is you worked side by side along your dad, and I want to hear, actually, how did that start? Was it something from the time you were young, you always wanted to work with your dad? Or did you go out, build something, come back? Like how did it actually start that you partnered with each other and worked together?

 

00;02;13;02 – 00;02;33;24

Brian Proctor

Well, I actually worked with them when I was a teenager. I was, I guess, for lack of better words, that was a roadie. You know, this was this was back in the days when he had a great big chocolate board that he would set up on stage. And, I remember I drove around in a car with this big chalkboard on top, and I’d take it into the into the meeting rooms and set it all up.

 

00;02;33;27 – 00;02;50;08

Brian Proctor

But when I got into my 20s, I went out on my own. I started, a real estate business. I became a real estate salesperson, in Toronto. And, really had to kind of make my own mark. And I was in real estate for, I guess, around 12 years, had done very well in it.

 

00;02;50;10 – 00;03;08;00

Brian Proctor

And dad was always trying to talk me into coming back to the business. And, and starting to work with him. And I finally, said, yes, you know, I would like to do that. We had a great relationship, and I thought it would be really fun to work with him again. And, I was with him ever since.

 

00;03;08;02 – 00;03;33;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

Beautiful. Brian, I know that you were an early pioneer of email marketing, and so I’m curious about your thoughts on first. How did you discover that? I’m just really curious because we we take for granted how easy it is to connect with our audience now. And I didn’t live in a world before either. I had the opportunity to connect with my audience via email, so I’d love to hear just a little bit about how you discovered that and how you became a pioneer in that movement.

 

00;03;33;20 – 00;03;44;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

And then I want to know if you think email marketing, you know, sometimes you’ll see a Facebook ad and they’ll say, email marketing is dead. So I’d like to hear your thoughts on, you know, 2024 email marketing as well.

 

00;03;44;07 – 00;04;08;14

Brian Proctor

Well, that’s a loaded question. So the you know, the first off, I definitely do not think email marketing is dead. I think it’s very important and very valuable. For whatever that’s worth. So I started email marketing was really by accident. This was back in 1999. This is before sort of the day email marketing was even a thing.

 

00;04;08;17 – 00;04;25;23

Brian Proctor

I was, I, I’d come back and started to work with my father, and I was selling the seminars and, Lauren, I’ll be honest, I did not enjoy myself. I was selling seminars, was not having fun. And I came to my father and said, you know what, dad, this is this is not what I signed up for.

 

00;04;25;23 – 00;04;44;27

Brian Proctor

I’m not enjoying myself. And to his credit, he said, Brian, that’s fine. That don’t do it. He said, just find another way that you can contribute. And when I was in real estate, one of the things that really made me successful was I always stayed in touch with my clients. You know, I would send them a letter every month.

 

00;04;44;29 – 00;05;14;18

Brian Proctor

Just, just just giving free content something of value. And I started to see at that time there was spam that was coming out in people’s emails. And I was looking at that and thinking, wow, you know, I could email people, something of value. And when I was a little kid that always had these magazines around the house, little booklets called bits and Pieces, and in those little booklets were all kinds of inspirational quotes and uplifting stories.

 

00;05;14;20 – 00;05;34;28

Brian Proctor

And I thought to myself, gosh, you know what? If I just send out an email to our clients and I started a court of the day service before that was even a thing. And I would send out a quote from Monday to Thursday and an uplifting story every Friday. We had, I think, 250 people that we had an email address for.

 

00;05;35;01 – 00;05;43;03

Brian Proctor

I had never even owned a computer or had an email address at that point, so I had to figure it out. This was long before list servers.

 

00;05;43;03 – 00;05;44;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;05;44;15 – 00;06;05;27

Brian Proctor

And so I started to do it from my own computer. And it was, it was not a lot of fun. It was a lot of, you know, it was it was a some long days and it started to grow pretty rapidly. I had a great response from it. And so I had to start finding solutions while I found a program that I could put on my computer to start sending them out at a much quicker pace.

 

00;06;06;00 – 00;06;25;17

Brian Proctor

And that worked pretty good for a while. Until the internet service provider shut me down thinking I was spamming. So I had to prove to them that I wasn’t spam right? And, gosh, there’s just so many obstacles I had to get through. But I knew that what I was doing was going to have value, and I knew it was going to work.

 

00;06;25;19 – 00;06;43;09

Brian Proctor

And thank God I, you know, I believed in that. And I found the way I ended up finding a web based platform that would send out the emails. And as you know, today, I mean, we’ve got so many services out there that do it really inexpensively. But back then I had to have things custom built to do that.

 

00;06;43;12 – 00;06;59;02

Brian Proctor

And, I’m really glad I did because when the when the movie The Secret came out, we were set, that, you know, we were able to capture email addresses and stay in touch with people and that really helped, you know, my father’s company in a very big way.

 

00;06;59;05 – 00;07;25;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

I read in the book when you talk about the movie The Secret. So again, I want to just mention that Brian’s book, My Father Knew the Secret growing up with Bob Proctor. You know, Brian, as I read this the first time and then I’ve been rereading it in preparation of meeting with you today, I got very choked up and in tears many, many different times when I read this, because not only did I love your dad, even though I didn’t get to work very directly with him many times, it also reminded me of my own upbringing and my own family growing up.

 

00;07;25;18 – 00;07;43;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

And it really is a beautiful, beautiful, practical book, but also a tribute. But one of the things you talked about here is when The Secret came out, how much that catapulted, your business. And I think it’s very powerful that in 1999, you couldn’t have known, oh, there’s going to be this thing called The Secret. That’s going to be great.

 

00;07;43;28 – 00;08;10;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

We have an email list. You were taking steps. Your dad was taking steps. So that it’s like the pump was primed by the time that the secret came out. So when you think about how you captured emails or how you marketed back then to now, is there anything now in 2024 that feels really different to you, or tips you can give our coaches in the audience, or anything you’d like to share about email marketing in 2024, and your thoughts on that?

 

00;08;10;13 – 00;08;33;17

Brian Proctor

Well, I think the important thing, Lauren, is anybody that’s doing any kind of email marketing, don’t just try to sell all the time. I think that’s the big difference. I see so many people out there. All they’re doing is selling. They’re just marketing. I think the value in it is to deliver good, free content and then sell once in a while.

 

00;08;33;19 – 00;08;53;09

Brian Proctor

It’s you’re you’re building trust with an audience that you don’t get to be face to face with. And you’ll only build that trust if you deliver value. And that’s I think that’s the big piece that most people are missing. It’s really simple. But gosh, I think if you just find a way to deliver value, people will trust you.

 

00;08;53;09 – 00;09;16;28

Brian Proctor

And then when you go to sell something, you know, make sure it’s something that you’ve checked out that you support. And if it is, go to it and you’ll do great. The people that build these big lists, that buy lists and do all kinds of nonsense, they may be around for a while, but they’ll never be around long because they’re not, in my eyes, of the most ethical of marketers.

 

00;09;17;00 – 00;09;35;25

Brian Proctor

So that would be my thing. I would just say, you dig in, because there’s a lot of value in it, but make sure that you, you deliver something from the heart, that you do something valuable that’s going to benefit the person opening that email. You do that, your open rates are going to be great, your sales will be great.

 

00;09;35;28 – 00;09;38;14

Brian Proctor

And, you’re going to build a really good relationship.

 

00;09;38;17 – 00;09;56;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that because it really speaks to building long term relationships with clients. And I think, it’s very refreshing to hear I’m in 100% agreement with you, by the way, and it’s really refreshing to hear when I had my own newsletter list, when I had my coaching business, I always gave value and I hardly ever sold, and I started to sell a little bit more.

 

00;09;56;01 – 00;10;23;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

But what I see to this day, if I send out an email to my list, is that the same people who opened up the first email are still opening up the 10,000 email, because there’s that value there. And I think something really important for our coaches to know, especially new coaches. Maybe you’re not yet really fully in this game is that you can, you know, do selling every day and and really be more of a numbers marketer how much conversion how much this but those leads are going to be so much colder.

 

00;10;23;11 – 00;10;37;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

They’re not really going to convert anyway. And so what we find when we build long term relationships is just that people trust us and are willing to do business with us over and over and over again. And we’re not always trying to just chase the the new leads, so to speak.

 

00;10;37;09 – 00;11;00;14

Brian Proctor

So and that really is the key. And I think the important thing is that you don’t have to deliver a lot. I mean, when I started this, it was simply a quote, an inspirational quote, and every Friday was a story. But the response I got, from people that, you know, a quote, simple quote, changed the course of their day, or they read a story on a Friday that altered the way they viewed the world.

 

00;11;00;16 – 00;11;16;17

Brian Proctor

And I like to call that psychic income. And I think as long as you’re doing something that that brings you psychic income, that that touches your heart, you’re going to be doing something of value and your list will grow. And that’s that’s where it’s at.

 

00;11;16;24 – 00;11;37;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

I agree, I think for many of the coaches who listen to this podcast, they’re very heart centered coaches. And so they didn’t they’re not setting out to do anything but help people transform their lives. And we can do that. We don’t want to underestimate the power of an email, which actually, I wasn’t sure if I was going to share this today, but I feel called to, so I’m going to trust that intuition.

 

00;11;37;02 – 00;12;05;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

Speaking of the power of an email. So with your dad, I never had the opportunity to work really directly with your dad, but your dad would often come in and teach on Mary Morris’s classes and brave thinking masters, or some of her higher level classes. He would sub for her, so to speak, or come in and teach. And, I was doing a process that Mary shares, which is called the Brave Thinking activation process, where you just source ideas and go with the ideas that bring you life or bring some sort of electricity to it.

 

00;12;05;14 – 00;12;21;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I was on a stage and I was speaking to probably 200 people that had come to, you know, have a workshop with me. And I said, I’m going to do this process right along with you, with the audience. And the idea that jumped off the page at me was, send Bob Proctor an email. Well, you can imagine what came up in my mind.

 

00;12;21;17 – 00;12;35;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

What are you going to say to Bob Proctor? You don’t even have his email address. Why is this an idea? I have nothing to do with the question. And, but I went with my intuition, as Mary and your dad would often teach. Is, going with the idea that inspires you. And I sent your dad an email.

 

00;12;35;23 – 00;12;59;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

I had no idea what his email would be, but I just guessed. And he wrote me back. And I know in this book that you talked about, the way your father treated people and cared about people, even toward the last moments of his life. And, he wrote me an email back. And one of the things that I was always touched by, and I’ll just share a little portion of it.

 

00;12;59;03 – 00;13;14;19

Lauren Brollier Newton

He said, you know, thank you for the nice note. Congratulations on what you share. He said, Lauren, you took away one of the greatest lessons I could offer. And that is, the more you know, the more you can share. The only way we gain knowledge is through study. The fact that you’ve made it part of your daily regimen is one of the smartest moves you could make.

 

00;13;14;19 – 00;13;31;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

I encourage you to study with a view in mind of how can I apply what I’m learning to better my results, gaining knowledge for the sake of retaining knowledge. It’s just that more information, the gaining knowledge and using it to increase your lot in life. That’s learning. Keep going Lauren and keep me posted on how you’re doing.

 

00;13;31;10 – 00;13;32;11

Brian Proctor

And I love that.

 

00;13;32;13 – 00;13;56;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

And it just speaks to I’m just someone he doesn’t really know. I sent him an email. He’s a busy man with lots of people to serve. But when I read that line where he said, keep doing what you’re doing and keep me posted, I could feel energetically he meant it right. And so tell me a little bit about how do you, sustain being a person of increase?

 

00;13;56;15 – 00;14;15;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

So your dad talked a lot about being a person of increase. You talk a lot about it. And so I’m thinking about how busy is I’m thinking about how busy you are. And yet here you are willing to be a guest on the podcast being a person of increase. So how do you sustain that level of service when you’re so busy and when you’ve got things to do?

 

00;14;15;07 – 00;14;39;08

Brian Proctor

You know, he always said he had a great definition for the impression of increase. He says, what can you do to make everybody you come in contact with that day feeling better because they were in contact with you. And I think, wow, that’s such a powerful statement. And he lived that way. He taught me that. I mean, I can tell you the story you want, but he taught me that a long time ago.

 

00;14;39;08 – 00;14;41;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

I would love to hear it. Yeah.

 

00;14;41;18 – 00;15;05;20

Brian Proctor

Well, so I’m actually in my father’s studio today, which is kind of fun. So I’m here in Toronto visiting, visiting family and I was born here in Toronto, so I started school here in Toronto. Well, probably a year after we started, I started school, we moved to London, England. So I started a new school there. A year after that, we moved back to a different area of Toronto.

 

00;15;05;20 – 00;15;22;16

Brian Proctor

So I started a whole nother school, and I think it was probably a year after that we moved to Chicago. So by the fourth grade, I was in my fourth new house. And, I, you know, I was that perpetual new kid in school. I hated it, you know, I hated the way everybody looked at me as that new kid all the time.

 

00;15;22;18 – 00;15;37;26

Brian Proctor

And I remember having this conversation with dad, and I was sitting in his den, and, I remember where I was sitting. I was sitting on the Ottoman of, you know, that was in front of the chair. And he was sitting in the chair. And I said to him, I said, dad, I’m really nervous about starting school again.

 

00;15;37;29 – 00;16;01;29

Brian Proctor

And he gave me this. He said, put these four letters across the forehead of everybody. You speak to MFI. And I looked at him and he says, that means make me feel important. He said, if you like everybody that is in front of you feel important. He says, you’re going to make friends. Really quickly and you’re going to get along great, and you won’t be that new kid for a very long.

 

00;16;02;02 – 00;16;22;11

Brian Proctor

And it’s so funny. I, you know, I guess from that point on, I’ve been applying that in my life. My father was really good at it. And, you know, if you can make everybody that’s in front of you feel important, feel seen, feel heard, you’re creating the impression of increase. You’re making them feel better because they were in your presence that day.

 

00;16;22;13 – 00;16;42;19

Brian Proctor

And I don’t think we can ever be too busy to to not do that. Yeah. I think if we’re here to make a difference and I mean, you’re you’re talking to coaches all over the place. They’re there to make a difference. Yeah. We need to find a way to make everybody feel special. And, you know, that can be a simple compliment.

 

00;16;42;21 – 00;17;04;04

Brian Proctor

It could just be noticing something. It could just be listening to somebody when they speak, and maybe when they tell you a great story, even if you’ve done it and maybe you’ve done it better. You bite your tongue and you don’t say anything. You just relish in their story. Because sometimes when we say, oh, I did that too, and I did it this way, you actually take away from their story.

 

00;17;04;07 – 00;17;21;14

Brian Proctor

So it’s really important to think about that. And, I know dad lived his life that way. I feel blessed. I feel I live my life that way. I watch my kids and I see that they do the same thing. And, I think it’s just a great way to live. And I, you know, I just go back to.

 

00;17;21;14 – 00;17;24;28

Brian Proctor

I don’t think you can ever be too busy, I really don’t. Yeah.

 

00;17;25;01 – 00;17;47;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

And it goes back to what you’re sharing about the email marketing and how you would send a quote and you would send a story. And I think that does make our readers feel important, that we’re taking the time to give value. The fact that your dad took the time to write me back, and I truly believe, and I know that you would probably agree with this, but you can share with me that we don’t do it because it returns to us.

 

00;17;47;20 – 00;18;01;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

But I, I believe we get so blessed by being able to be the person of increase to leave that impression that we actually do get blessed in return, because we get to see, how it impacts other people’s lives.

 

00;18;01;27 – 00;18;21;00

Brian Proctor

We really do. And it goes back to what I said about psychic income. I really feel that that is psychic income. And when we can do things that touch our heart, we know we’re doing something good and that will return to us. We have to know that, it might not return from the person we’re speaking to, but it will come back to us one way or the other.

 

00;18;21;00 – 00;18;43;27

Brian Proctor

It just has to, and, and I think if, if we don’t give energy to how that comes back to us, but we just keep doing the best we can. Yes. Keep making everybody around us feel good. Sometimes just a simple smile, I mean, whatever. Yeah, it can make a difference. And, you know, it’s. I wrote a chapter in the book, called Looking at Life Through Rose Colored Glasses, and I really feel that’s a part of it.

 

00;18;43;27 – 00;19;01;26

Brian Proctor

I think we need to look for the good. You know, if we see the good in the world, the world will see the good in us. Yes. If we see negative, the world is going to see negative in us. It’s really that simple. And I think we just need to do our part to be the best person we can be every single day.

 

00;19;01;29 – 00;19;06;12

Brian Proctor

And my gosh, learn. If we can do that, the world will change one person at a time.

 

00;19;06;15 – 00;19;25;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

And even just as you’re saying this, the energy of that is so expansive, it’s so heart opening, and we want to feel that beautiful. So another question that I have for you in terms of your early pioneering of the email marketing, but also have affiliate affiliate marketing and joint venture, I have a very, I think, specific question for you.

 

00;19;25;16 – 00;19;50;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

So one of the things that I see as I help train and certified coaches is sometimes there’s a temptation to get very distracted by all the bells and whistles and all the beautiful, beautiful things that we can do out there in this online world. And I have seen you and your dad do affiliate marketing and joint ventures. And my thought goes to, oh, if Bob Proctor recommends that, I’ll take a look at it.

 

00;19;50;06 – 00;20;12;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

Right? However, sometimes when I’m watching a beginning coach who hasn’t really got their footing yet go to affiliate or joint venture, to me, I think, oh, are they serious about the original thing they were doing? Like if I see a coach pick up, an MLM, which I am a fan of, I buy from MLMs. I’ve been part of MLMs, but I tend to think, oh, they’re not serious about the first thing because I haven’t really seen the footing yet.

 

00;20;12;21 – 00;20;26;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I wanted you to either change my mind about that or agree. Like how do we pick and choose the right joint ventures is never too early to get into a joint venture. If we haven’t got a solid footing in our coaching business. I’d love to hear your thoughts on that.

 

00;20;26;17 – 00;20;52;13

Brian Proctor

Well, you know, my my thought on that is you want to get a solid footing on your coaching business first, okay? Because that’s your main business. You know, affiliate marketing. I really stumbled into it. It became a very big thing by accident. But even through all of the big affiliate stuff that I did, my number one focus was my father and our work, and that stayed my number one focus.

 

00;20;52;16 – 00;21;16;01

Brian Proctor

And every once in a while, I would dabble with an affiliate offer, as long as it was in resonance with what we were doing. And that’s really the key. I think if you start throwing yourself here and there and everywhere else, you will dilute yourself. You want to remember what are you in business for? If you’re in business for coaching, you want to make sure you push your coaching and and elevate that first.

 

00;21;16;03 – 00;21;37;15

Brian Proctor

Once you’ve built that and once you’ve got trust that that’s the that’s that’s probably the most important part. Then you can do affiliate marketing. But when you do it, make sure that it is an offer that you’re in alignment with that you feel good about. Because if it isn’t, two things are going to happen. You will lose the trust of the people you’re sending a message to.

 

00;21;37;23 – 00;21;58;05

Brian Proctor

They’ll probably get off your list so you’ll hurt yourself. You will lose coaching business and you will lose an email and potential other affiliate offers that you could have sold that you are in harmony with. So, you know, it all comes back down to what is the reason for you doing it, and make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.

 

00;21;58;08 – 00;22;23;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I love that. I think the idea of stumbling upon it by accident and, because you always had the value of being the person of increase, keeping your focus, always being a value, you attracted the right opportunities, and knew how to discern what would not be the right opportunity. Yeah, we had a couple questions. So I went into our, group of coaches, our Facebook group, and I said, I’m interviewing Brian Proctor.

 

00;22;23;27 – 00;22;37;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

What do you want? Yeah. And so I got a couple questions from our coaches that I’d love to ask you. So, Mary Walker asks, how were you able to take your dad’s wisdom but also forged your own path?

 

00;22;37;17 – 00;23;04;18

Brian Proctor

Oh, that’s. You know what? That’s actually the first time anybody’s asked me that, that’s a really good question. So you know it. I think it is. How I was able to forge my own path was being confident in who I was. You know, when I first started speaking, doing some coaching, doing different things like that, you know, the first thing in my head was, well, they’re going to compare me to Bob Proctor, and I’m not Bob Proctor.

 

00;23;04;20 – 00;23;27;06

Brian Proctor

And I remember, gosh, of years ago sitting with dad in a hotel room and, this was before one of our big events, and he wanted me to get up on stage and I told him I was really nervous. And he said to me, says, well, Brian, you’re nervous because you’re putting the focus on you. He says, stop thinking about yourself and what value you can deliver to the people instead and focus on them.

 

00;23;27;06 – 00;23;31;00

Brian Proctor

You won’t be nervous any longer. And that, wow, that, you know, kind of makes sense.

 

00;23;31;00 – 00;23;31;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;23;31;20 – 00;23;52;29

Brian Proctor

And, and and then I, I really started thinking, well, I have to deliver my message my way. So I think it’s, I was always brought up with a good self-image. You can imagine having Bob Proctor’s father is not a bad thing. And I always knew I wasn’t going to be Bob Proctor. There’s only one Bob Proctor.

 

00;23;53;02 – 00;24;15;03

Brian Proctor

But I’m going to be Brian Proctor. I’m going to be me, and I’ll share what I learned. You know, a message came to me. I was probably a year ago. It was this after my father passed away. And I still feel like I communicate with him. It’s, you know, it’s important. And as I’m getting out there in the world a little bit more, this message came to me.

 

00;24;15;03 – 00;24;41;22

Brian Proctor

And it was this. It was speak from the heart, not the head. Sure what I learned and share how I used it. And that’s really my motto, and that’s what I do. So, I that’s a long winded answer to that question, but that, you know, the bottom line is, I realize that I’m my own person and I will be and I don’t try to imitate my father because if I try to do that, I would be inauthentic and it would not go over very well.

 

00;24;41;25 – 00;24;56;03

Brian Proctor

So for any coaches, don’t try to imitate whoever you’re learning from. You be that great version of you, because what you’ve got has value. And when you own that, it’s going to show as you deliver it.

 

00;24;56;05 – 00;25;24;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

So true, because there are people on this planet who actually won’t receive it from Bob Proctor, the way that they’re going to receive it from Brian Proctor. And they actually need Brian’s take on it for resonance. Right? Yes. So important. Okay. So Enga, one of our coaches asks, I love this one. She said, do you remember your own first realization of, oh, my dad’s teachings actually work like this stuff actually works.

 

00;25;24;07 – 00;25;25;22

Lauren Brollier Newton

Too.

 

00;25;25;25 – 00;25;46;07

Brian Proctor

Do I remember that? Well, I can think of a time when it really drove home. The very first time I really learned that I’m not sure. I mean, I started going to seminars, Lauren, when I was a very young guy. I was so young, in fact, when he held evening summer seminars after the break, I would crawl underneath the table and go to sleep, and a seminar room.

 

00;25;46;07 – 00;25;55;02

Brian Proctor

So that’s that’s how long I’ve been at seminar. And I’m in my 60s now, so it’s been a while. Yeah. So what was that? The original question again?

 

00;25;55;04 – 00;26;01;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

Know the original question is, was there a time when you realized, oh my gosh, what my dad teaches this stuff actually works.

 

00;26;02;02 – 00;26;24;07

Brian Proctor

So, you know, I will say this. If I was to pinpoint a time, it’s when I got into real estate, I was 26 years old. This was back in the 1980s, and I got into real estate, and I was I was a success right from the start. I think my first month in the business, I earned $40,000 in commissions, and that was a lot of money back then.

 

00;26;24;08 – 00;26;26;21

Brian Proctor

It’s a lot of money just. Yeah. And it’s just like.

 

00;26;26;21 – 00;26;27;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

Your perspective.

 

00;26;27;25 – 00;26;45;12

Brian Proctor

I it does but it and it kept growing and that’s when I really realized it. And I remember when I first got into the business, dad said to me, says Brian, act as if you’re the best real estate agent in the entire city of Toronto. If you act as if you are that person, you will become that person.

 

00;26;45;18 – 00;26;54;17

Brian Proctor

And that’s when it really hit home for me. And that’s what I did. And, it worked right from the get go. I acted as if I was that person and I became that person.

 

00;26;54;20 – 00;27;18;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, it’s interesting because it might be, easy to assume that. Okay, you’re Bob Proctor’s son. You’ve had he started studying in 1961. You were born that same year. So it would be easy for someone to make the assumption, maybe the untrained mind, to make the assumption that you never had to face a paradigm or things weren’t hard or, you know, things of that nature.

 

00;27;18;16 – 00;27;39;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

So, I’d love for you to talk a little bit about some of the struggles that you still had to overcome. You know, whether it was as that 26 year old or as a 60 year old or, you know, whatever it is, bring us back down to Earth, Huron. It’s not just all. It’s not just all so easy because your parents had personal development in your household.

 

00;27;39;26 – 00;27;59;09

Brian Proctor

Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, we act and do things in our life, and sometimes it doesn’t always work. That’s right. It doesn’t matter who are who our parents were. I’ve had a lot of failures in my life. And I’ve had to battle through different things. I’ve had relationship failures. I’ve had financial failures.

 

00;27;59;11 – 00;28;21;15

Brian Proctor

I’ve had lots of things that I’ve had to go through. I will say this, having Bob Proctor as a father helped me get through those times a lot quicker, because I realized what it was and I wasn’t going to let it throw me off. Yeah. I’ve seen other people. I’ve had some friends that have let bad things throw them off for a very long time, or let it form a part of their identity.

 

00;28;21;18 – 00;28;40;22

Brian Proctor

I never did that because I knew I knew better. But it’s none of us are immune from adversity. That’s right. You know, but the way we deal with that adversity is everything. So, you know, I’ve certainly had a lot of bad things happen to me, too. I don’t focus on it. I don’t give it energy.

 

00;28;40;24 – 00;28;47;05

Brian Proctor

And when you do that, it kind of softens those sharp edges. That’s right. It does the pain and you get through it a lot quicker.

 

00;28;47;11 – 00;29;04;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

I did want to ask you about that, Brian, because I know there was a part of the book where you have a chapter on forgiveness and you talk about that. You know, your dad had had some things in his life, too, where, maybe someone didn’t treat him well or someone, you know, betrayed him, so to speak.

 

00;29;04;06 – 00;29;36;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

And he, he tell me if I’m remembering correctly, but he kind of said, I just don’t think about it. I don’t give energy to it. Right. So. And I would love to know your thoughts on how do we balance honoring, feeling our feelings fully and also not giving them a lot of energy? Like, is there is a is there a balance to strike on processing something or in your opinion, is it, you shouldn’t need that long to process it or what is your thoughts on the balance of like fully feeling your human feelings but not giving them too much weight?

 

00;29;36;27 – 00;29;38;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

What are your thoughts on that?

 

00;29;38;24 – 00;29;59;08

Brian Proctor

Well, I think when when bad things happen, we have to acknowledge it, and deal with it. And sometimes, you know, a bad thing can really knock us down. And, yeah, we have to accept that it’s happened. We have to realize, how am I going to get through this? What am I going to do to get through this, by pretending it never happened?

 

00;29;59;08 – 00;30;20;05

Brian Proctor

That’s really not real. You know, we have to acknowledge that it’s happened. You know, the thing I learned about forgiveness is that forgiveness is not letting somebody else off the hook. Forgiveness is releasing the energy that you’re hanging onto because of an event. If we can do that, we free ourself up for better. That’s really what it’s all about.

 

00;30;20;07 – 00;30;38;13

Brian Proctor

And you know, that was a great example of that. He had some people that really took advantage of him, did different things to him, and he never let that form a part of his identity. He realized what happened. He would, you know, he would end whatever that relationship was and he would learn from it and just keep moving forward.

 

00;30;38;19 – 00;30;57;15

Brian Proctor

He wouldn’t do that. Ruminating of a of a thought over and over and over and over, because he knows that doesn’t serve us. You know, when we can’t forgive the person we’re really harming as ourself. And, boy, if we can learn to release that in sometimes it’s forgiving ourself. You know, we’ve done things in our past.

 

00;30;57;17 – 00;31;20;06

Brian Proctor

Sometimes we hang on to like, why did I do that? And we need to learn to forgive ourself. That had a great saying that I just I really love learning is this you cannot change the time you got out of bed this morning. What’s happened in the past has happened in the past. That’s what it is. And, you know, we’ve got to find a way to move past it, through forgiveness, through whatever that is.

 

00;31;20;13 – 00;31;24;05

Brian Proctor

And when we can do that, we’re going to move on in life a lot quicker.

 

00;31;24;07 – 00;31;42;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that idea that not letting it become your identity, how you can process it, you can feel it. But when you start to say things like, you know, if you’ve had relationship failures, I’m a bad picker. Or if you’ve had business failures, I’m no good at business. Now it’s starting to become part of your identity, and then it’s going to form all the results you have moving forward.

 

00;31;42;10 – 00;31;49;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I love that distinction, Brian, that it’s it doesn’t actually have to become part of your identity just because you’ve experienced it.

 

00;31;49;28 – 00;32;09;19

Brian Proctor

That’s right. You know, we can we can take a lesson from all of our lumps and and be better because of it. That’s right. So whether that’s relationships, whether it’s business, we don’t have to let it beat us down. We can learn from those experiences and be better the next time around. Yeah. Keep doing that. Okay.

 

00;32;09;19 – 00;32;10;07

Brian Proctor

Good.

 

00;32;10;09 – 00;32;33;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

You know, Mary Morrissey has an expression, and I’ll. I’ll just share with the audience. I think many of you who listen to this podcast know this, but Mary and Bob were friends for I think, since I want to say 1996 is when they met, I might be messing with the year, but they were friends for, you know, 30 years and, Mary and it’s interesting, as I read your book and got to hear a little bit deeper into your dad’s teachings.

 

00;32;33;15 – 00;32;53;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

So much of it, of course, reminds me of Mary, you know, I mean, they’re just so, so much harmony between the two of their teachings. But one of the thing that Mary says about forgiveness is ultimately all forgiveness is self forgiveness, because we’re co-creators. And we couldn’t have a situation if we weren’t co-creating somehow with with that situation.

 

00;32;53;07 – 00;33;10;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

So when you talk about that, that is really not about the other person. And a lot of it is about forgiving yourself. That really resonates with with that and with Mary’s teaching as well. So I’d love to hear you speak a little bit, because we have so many people on this podcast who find their way to this podcast because they’re part of Brave Thinking Institute, and they love Mary Morrissey.

 

00;33;10;23 – 00;33;18;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so I’d love for those listeners, for you to talk a little bit about the relationship and the friendship that you watched between your dad and Mary.

 

00;33;18;18 – 00;33;23;26

Brian Proctor

Well, you know, it’s I wasn’t going to I, I put it down, but take a look at this.

 

00;33;23;29 – 00;33;31;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. So for those of you listening, he’s holding up a picture. And here is his in his dad’s office of Mary Morrissey. That’s so, brings tears to my eyes.

 

00;33;32;00 – 00;33;55;22

Brian Proctor

Yeah, and Mary’s saying that. She said for Bob, my once in a lifetime friend. Love always. Mary. I will tell you this, and for everybody that, that follows Mary Morrissey on here, Mary is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life. I love Mary, and, she knows that I’ve been very clear with her.

 

00;33;55;24 – 00;34;20;22

Brian Proctor

Mary’s visiting me in my home. When my father passed away, Mary was the person that really helped me through it. And, I don’t want to get all emotional here, but she. She really helped me through it. She’s a special lady, and I loved watching my father with Mary. They were they were, like, two kids together when they got, gosh, out.

 

00;34;20;24 – 00;34;45;00

Brian Proctor

I remember we were down in Scottsdale and dad was about to get surgery on his back. I think it was just before the surgery, and Mary flew in to see him. And, I think it was before we’re doing an affiliate offer with one of Mary’s programs, and dad wanted to do a video for her so bad. I mean, they just he just loved her, and he was not feeling very good.

 

00;34;45;00 – 00;35;03;20

Brian Proctor

He was in pretty rough shape. He was in a wheelchair at the time. And, man, we recorded a video that he could use to help promote Mary. He just would do anything for her. But watching the two of them was, it was just a joy, Lauren. It was a joy. I mean, I don’t have to tell you how great Mary is.

 

00;35;03;22 – 00;35;25;04

Brian Proctor

And my father just loved her. And, man, I love her the same. She’s just a, There’s a woman who lives by the theory of the impression of increase. She really. And so is Joe, her husband. You know, they just are forever doing things to make you feel better. Yes. That’s that’s a great way to be.

 

00;35;25;07 – 00;35;50;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I’m sure that’s how Bob and Mary attracted each other as friends to people who live by increase. So, you know, it’s so interesting. When I was received the invites invitation from Matt and Mary to come and be the leader of this coach certification division. My immediate response was no, I have my own multi-million dollar coaching business. I, you know, like my, my, my human reaction was, no, I don’t want to do that.

 

00;35;50;16 – 00;36;20;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

However, it was actually and this is, I have your dad to thank for the decision because when when this came up, it was early 2022. I’m sorry, early 2023. So it’s about almost a year since your dad had made his transition. And like I said, I didn’t get to work super closely with your dad. I did receive some coaching from him and have some great interactions with him, but I mostly experienced him through his friendship with Mary and through, you know, online doing challenges and different things that I attended.

 

00;36;20;09 – 00;36;40;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

Paradigm shift and things of that nature. And, I remember very starkly when your dad made his transition, just my heart was broken because I’m very close to Mary and I know the type of friendship they had. And so my heart was broken for all of you. But for her, as my friend, I was just feeling for her.

 

00;36;40;25 – 00;36;59;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so, about six months after your dad made his transition, Mary and I did an event together called An Evening with Mary Morrissey. And we raised money for the Unstoppable Foundation, and it was so fresh. You know, the loss that she was feeling that I had mentioned to Mary that night that I had an image that I held.

 

00;36;59;16 – 00;37;20;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

So Mary has trained us. And this is a great tip for all of you coaches who don’t know this tool, that if you you have a vision for something you would love in your life, to actually create a vivid image in your mind that you can play on repeat, of what you would love to create. And one of my images, we call it a dream achieved moment.

 

00;37;20;00 – 00;37;37;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

It’s just this moment where that you can envision yourself living a life you love, having a moment. One of my images that I had been holding for a long time was, I’m in a stadium. It’s about 20,000 people. Bob Proctor’s on stage, Mary Morrissey’s on stage, and they introduce me to come speak.

 

00;37;37;16 – 00;37;38;06

Brian Proctor

Yeah.

 

00;37;38;08 – 00;38;10;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

And when your dad made his transition, I remember saying to Mary that night, about six months later, I’ve never felt, just how fleeting these dreams are until I realized that in physically in this lifetime, I would never actually have that experience because Bob was no longer here. And, when I made the decision to come to Brave Thinking Institute, I heard in the shower, after I had said no, I had said, no, I’m not going to come to Brave Thinking Institute.

 

00;38;10;17 – 00;38;27;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

The one time I was in the shower and I remembered this conversation with Mary, and I remembered that image and feeling it, and I thought, there’s only so much money. You can make so much, you know, whatever you can have. But at the end of the day, what do I want? I want to make an impact like Bob makes.

 

00;38;27;29 – 00;39;02;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

I want to make an impact like Mary makes. And I understand that, you know, my my dream is that Mary’s going to live to be 150 and at the level of fact, the days go by and I viscerally felt, not being able to have that moment in physical reality with your dad. And that was actually probably one of the number one things that caused me to make the decision to come to Brave Thinking Institute is I want to sit beside Matt and Mary and make an impact on the world, and I don’t want to look back and say, oh, because I was thinking about my own coaching business again, making it my own thing,

 

00;39;02;15 – 00;39;29;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

that I miss the opportunity to make a giant impact. So I wanted to share that story with you because I think for you, for your dad, for all the people that you collaborated on and the, I’m sure millions and millions of lives you touched, you won’t get to hear every story like my story, but just know that there’s probably many, many people who have this story like mine, that they’re out in the world doing what they’re doing because of your dad and because of you and the impact that you made.

 

00;39;29;28 – 00;39;34;05

Brian Proctor

Well, I love that. Thank you, Laura. And that’s, that’s that’s wonderful to hear. It really is.

 

00;39;34;05 – 00;39;54;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. Yeah. So another question I have for you. What is the next if you if you don’t mind me asking this, what is the next level dream for Brian Proctor. So life looks different I’m sure now without your without your dad here and him at the head of the company and things of that nature. And so for Brian Proctor, your next level dreams.

 

00;39;54;29 – 00;39;58;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

How you’d like to make an impact. What does it look like now?

 

00;39;58;29 – 00;40;20;29

Brian Proctor

Well, that’s that’s a good question. So for me now, that’s through these books. You know, my father knew the secret that I released a little over a year ago. 12 Easy Steps to Change Your Life is being released October 15th. So that’s just about to come out. It’s my way of sharing what I learned from my father.

 

00;40;20;29 – 00;40;39;10

Brian Proctor

You know, when I said. When I said before, the message I got was, you know, speak from the heart, not the head. Share what I learned and how I used it. And that’s really what I’m doing. So, these books, are a way of getting that message out to the world. When I first released my father knew the secret.

 

00;40;39;10 – 00;41;05;09

Brian Proctor

It was. It was heartwarming. The, the messages that I got from everybody. And, quite frankly, it’s changed my life. And in many ways, I literally just got back from Ireland. I was up on stage speaking there to a large group of people. I’ve been in Italy speaking. I’ve been in, Denmark speaking. Obviously the U.S, and I would have never thought I’d be a speaker in an author.

 

00;41;05;12 – 00;41;27;06

Brian Proctor

But I am now, and, I’m, I’m owning what I can do to keep sharing my father’s message in a different way. And, it feels really good. So that’s what’s happening for me. That’s kind of the new me. Is is really sharing everything that I learned. And I know that by me sharing what I’ve learned, it can make a difference in a lot of people’s lives.

 

00;41;27;12 – 00;41;49;16

Brian Proctor

Absolutely. You know, I look at I think I look at myself lawn as my father started to study this material right when I was born. Yes. And I, I often laugh and think. I think I was like an experiment. And he tried he he basically brought me up with all of this material. So I’ve lived it all my life.

 

00;41;49;19 – 00;41;56;18

Brian Proctor

Yeah. And it’s, it’s it’s fun to share. Share everything I’ve learned. Because I see what it’s doing.

 

00;41;56;20 – 00;42;21;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

Absolutely. I was interested to hear that you actually started writing. My father knew the secret before. Or your dad made his transition. That’s right. So I’d love to hear just a little bit about that. Like, how did the whole. So I mean, a lot of coaches that are listening to this podcast, whether they’re life coaches, business coaches, I think feel the nudge to write or to be an author, but they sometimes listen to it, sometimes don’t.

 

00;42;21;07 – 00;42;28;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I’d love to hear about when you first started The Nudge and just that process of writing. My father knew the secret.

 

00;42;28;04 – 00;42;44;06

Brian Proctor

Well, I started it. Gosh, it was probably at least a year and a half, maybe even two years before he passed away. I was talking to my wife, Corey, and I said to her, you know, dad always says we all have a book in us. And, and I said, I know I’ve got some value that I can share.

 

00;42;44;08 – 00;43;01;18

Brian Proctor

And I said, I’m not quite sure where to go with it. Well, she looked at me like I had two heads, and she says, Brian, what’s that one question you get asked at every event? Every seminar? What’s it like being Bob Proctor, son and I thought, well, there you go. It’s, you know, I can share what it was like and share my experience.

 

00;43;01;21 – 00;43;18;05

Brian Proctor

So when I started writing it, I told that I was doing it, and, I shared with him many of the chapters that I had written and some, some different. We had a lot of fun with it. You talked about that forgiveness chapter? Yeah. I remember where I was sitting when I was talking to dad around that one.

 

00;43;18;08 – 00;43;42;02

Brian Proctor

And it was great. It was heartwarming. It was. Dad and I had a special relationship to begin with, but this gave us another level of sharing. You know, we could talk about stories, and it was what it was. It was just it was a great experience. And I was maybe halfway through, when he passed. And it took me three months, at least, before I could even think about writing.

 

00;43;42;03 – 00;43;54;09

Brian Proctor

Yeah. And the first thing I wrote is that first chapter. That was the first thing I wrote up after he passed. And, you know, you’ve read it. So that was a hard chapter to write.

 

00;43;54;09 – 00;44;05;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

Well, I can feel that because when I read that first chapter, I was just my tears were streaming down my face. I mean, energetically, I could feel that and just so heartfelt to get to hear about it.

 

00;44;05;27 – 00;44;25;16

Brian Proctor

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, it was a while and it took me another year and a bit after that before it was finished. But at the only thing I wished I had before he passed away was the title. I didn’t I didn’t know what I was going to call the book, and I had different ideas. None of them felt right.

 

00;44;25;18 – 00;44;40;00

Brian Proctor

And, you know, I would share them with dad and he would just say, Brian, just what you got to go with your heart, what feels right. And I said, none of these feel right. And he said to me, says, don’t rush this. He says it’ll come when it’s supposed to come. Now, here’s an interesting little story that not many people know.

 

00;44;40;02 – 00;44;57;29

Brian Proctor

This was after he passed away. I woke up at 3 a.m.. I just had a vivid dream of my father. I mean, it was, like, vivid. And I woke up. And the title, my father knew the secret was in my head. And I actually got up and wrote it down because, you know, in the middle of the night, something getting things.

 

00;44;58;01 – 00;45;17;05

Brian Proctor

And I thought, wow, that’s it. How perfect is that? You know, the secret was really what propelled him to the large stage, really got him on all those television shows, every, you know, the bigger audience. And, I thought it was just the perfect title. And, so I feel, you know, he wasn’t here when I came up with it, but I feel that he nudged it.

 

00;45;17;12 – 00;45;18;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

Exactly.

 

00;45;18;12 – 00;45;19;26

Brian Proctor

In his special way.

 

00;45;19;28 – 00;45;32;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I had a vivid image. I think it was. 1 or 2 nights after. Because I believe your dad passed on February 2nd, if I’m remembering correctly.

 

00;45;32;03 – 00;45;33;01

Brian Proctor

The third, the third.

 

00;45;33;01 – 00;45;58;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

Okay, so the third. So this might have been the fourth or fifth. And it wasn’t a dream. It was more of a meditative image. And what I saw in my mind, during meditation was an image of your dad on the other side. And he was speaking with Earl Nightingale and Wallace Wattles and, Napoleon Hill. And I heard your dad say, well, that was one hell of a lifetime.

 

00;45;59;02 – 00;46;13;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I actually texted it to Mary. I knew Mary was in the thick of it, but I said, I just have to tell her that this image came to me, because it was so visceral. It was like I just saw it. It’s like they’re all patent on the back, like, great job, you know? And he’s like, yeah, one hell of a lifetime.

 

00;46;13;24 – 00;46;44;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

And, I think about a lot because I think, gosh, that probably I don’t know who would be what what happened up there. So beautiful. So I’m curious, for all the coaches out there now, they see these mega, mega stars like Bob Proctor, Mary Morrissey. Well, actually, I have two things I want to I want to come back to that, but something I want to remind myself of when I look at the through line of teaching of Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey, very similar, very different personalities on stage and things like that.

 

00;46;44;20 – 00;47;10;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

But when you look at the through line of their teaching, the things that they’re teaching very, very similar, teaching on how to actually create a different result through transformation. And one of the other main reasons that I also came to Brave Thinking Institute is when I look around the world and I look at the through line of their teachings, you look at the Transcendentalists to Wallace Wattles and Napoleon Hill, to Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey.

 

00;47;10;02 – 00;47;41;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

There’s very, very few people on this planet who teach that particular form of transformation. Right. And I feel this very visceral, personally feel this very visceral need to preserve and add on to that legacy. And so I’m curious to know if you ever, you know, think about that yourself, because I feel like I’m almost like a warrior for Mary’s legacy and for keeping this form of teaching in the world.

 

00;47;41;13 – 00;48;00;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

I don’t want to see this through line of teaching, you know, die away as, you know, some of these leaders get older, make their transitions. So just want to hear your thoughts on this particular form of teaching. If you know it, you know it. For those of you listening, and it’s, it’s legacy and seeing it move forward into the future.

 

00;48;00;20 – 00;48;24;20

Brian Proctor

Well, here’s the interesting thing. I don’t think my father started out thinking he would be that kind of teacher. He just had a passion to teach the material. He saw how it changed his life, and he had a passion to teach it, knowing that he would change others lives. And I believe Mary’s the same way. So I think at the end of the day, it’s all about living what you teach.

 

00;48;24;20 – 00;48;25;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;48;25;21 – 00;48;48;11

Brian Proctor

You know, I looked at my father, I look at Mary, they live what they teach. Both of them had hard times. It was not always easy for either of them, but they believed in what they were teaching to the point that they practiced it. They lived it even when they were experiencing tough times. They always had a vision of where they were going to be, and they just kept moving in that direction.

 

00;48;48;13 – 00;49;12;22

Brian Proctor

And it maybe never happened as quickly as either of them wanted to. But they were committed to the outcome. They were committed to what they were teaching. And I believe there’s a lot of good people out there that are doing the same thing that are committed to that. We don’t necessarily see it. And sometimes we see some of the people out there doing things that, you know, we know aren’t right.

 

00;49;12;24 – 00;49;31;08

Brian Proctor

And they may be big for a while, but they won’t be big for long. But the people that hold the course that do it for the right reasons, they will show up and they will be that person. They might not be it until they’re 70 or 80. They may be at at 30. It doesn’t really matter.

 

00;49;31;08 – 00;49;51;19

Brian Proctor

And I think for those individuals that are teaching that way, I don’t think they really care. And I think that’s the deal. I think you can’t let your ego get attached to the outcome. Yeah, you have to do it because you feel it in your heart and you know you can make a difference. And if you come from that point of view, you will become that person.

 

00;49;51;21 – 00;50;10;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. Totally agree. I think, one of the things that I would tell myself when things got hard running my own business or weren’t going the way it wasn’t going the way I would just ask myself, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? I’m not doing this to be the CEO of my company. I’m not doing this.

 

00;50;10;05 – 00;50;30;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

Ultimately, I’m doing this because I feel like I was put here to make a difference for people. Right? And so I would then say to myself, it doesn’t matter. It do it in this lifetime or the next, do it or die trying. Just keep going because it’s actually not about this webinar or this email deliverability or how many people attend this.

 

00;50;30;18 – 00;50;39;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

If I have a mission that mission isn’t about one seminar, one result. It’s about, a lifetime of endeavoring.

 

00;50;39;04 – 00;51;01;19

Brian Proctor

That’s exactly it. And I think that’s what’s important. Yeah. You know, I I’ve had many occasions where I’m, you know, I’m chasing something big and things aren’t lining up quite yet. And, gosh, my wife will say, Brian, how is this going to happen? Like, you know what? We’re what we’re doing. And, you know, I just hear my father speaking, and I just I look at her and I say, I just know it’s going to work out.

 

00;51;01;19 – 00;51;20;03

Brian Proctor

It’s going to happen. Yes. And I think if we can have complete faith in what we’re doing and know that if we’re doing it for the right reason, it will work out. We don’t have to let outside circumstance, outside conditions affect the way we think. And boy, if we can do that and stay committed that way, we will get there.

 

00;51;20;09 – 00;51;22;25

Brian Proctor

Yeah. We just sometimes we have to be patient.

 

00;51;22;28 – 00;51;42;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I think that’s one of the most rigorous things about this work, is the ability to hold your thinking to a certain level in the face of everything else going on, to just hold your thinking. I remember your dad used to say something like, I’m there’s not going to be an exact quote, but most people don’t really think, right.

 

00;51;42;01 – 00;52;01;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

I think he would say something like, it’s just noise or it’s just power, the ability to actually choose what to think. I mean, when I first heard that the very first time I heard Mary Morrissey speak on a stage, it was like, I guess it should seem so obvious that you can choose what you think, but I actually didn’t know that you can think anything you want to think in the face of circumstance condition.

 

00;52;01;20 – 00;52;22;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

Right? And that was like, you want to talk about freedom, the ability to think. I remember one of my favorite stories that Mary tells about your dad is one time he gave her a call and she was signing a mortgage on a house. And, he said to her, what are you doing? And she said, oh, I’m just about to sign, you know, the the loan documents for the mortgage on her house, and he goes, loan.

 

00;52;22;13 – 00;52;40;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

Why do you need a loan to make damn money and buy the damn house? And and Mary was so appreciative of he could always show her how to think even bigger than she was thinking. And she always says, I still signed the papers, but it gave me like, oh, I never thought I could just pay cash for a house.

 

00;52;40;14 – 00;52;53;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. I was just like, wow. The I it’s like I want to sit at the feet of someone who thinks like that, right? Which is why I love interviewing people like you. Why I sit at Mary Morris’s feet and study is because I want to learn how to think that way.

 

00;52;53;29 – 00;53;00;09

Brian Proctor

Well, I think I think you do think that way. That’s the whole great part. Yeah. And I think that’s why you’re doing this even more.

 

00;53;00;09 – 00;53;01;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

Even more. I want more, I want more.

 

00;53;01;28 – 00;53;21;04

Brian Proctor

Yeah, yeah. Well, I, you know, I think the important thing, I mean, you can see behind me all the books. I think, gosh, if we just keep studying and keep learning, that’s what enables us to keep thinking bigger. And, as long as we keep thinking better, we’ll keep doing more. You know, it’s those are the people that really get on in the world.

 

00;53;21;04 – 00;53;37;27

Brian Proctor

And, you know, dad was always, what’s your goal, Brian? What are you going towards? It was always important that I was chasing something big. And, and when I reached it, it said, what are you going for next? And I remember, you know, my ego would be like, why don’t you congratulate me? I just did this. Yeah.

 

00;53;37;28 – 00;53;50;12

Brian Proctor

And, you know, here’s the thing. I really learned that we can achieve great things. That’s just kind of the prize. It’s what we learn along the way that changes our life.

 

00;53;50;14 – 00;54;07;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right, that’s right. So I have a couple other questions for you. So I know you’re a dad. And I’d love to hear how you. So you have a dad who was in personal development. Then you became a father. And in personal development. I just became a mom six weeks ago.

 

00;54;07;21 – 00;54;09;03

Brian Proctor

Congratulations.

 

00;54;09;06 – 00;54;32;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so I’ve been thinking a lot about ways in which for any of us who have children or our teachers or nieces, nephews or godchildren in what is a what are some of your keys to bringing this to their lives without making it a you should do this or you have to do this for, what are you, some of your keys with your own kids and, that you would recommend?

 

00;54;32;25 – 00;54;52;13

Brian Proctor

Well, I’m going to share a little story with you that we’ve got. So one of my earliest memories of dad, was when I was a young boy. If he was home, he was the one that would talk me in a bed. And, I’ll never forget the feeling of him coming and tucking me into bed. I’d be all laid there waiting for him.

 

00;54;52;18 – 00;55;07;29

Brian Proctor

He’d come and he’d sit on the edge of the bed, and he put his hand on my chest. And he later told me that that was just that. That connection is really important. Yeah. He put his hand on my chest and he’d start to talk about my day, and he would have me talk about all the good things that happened that day.

 

00;55;08;02 – 00;55;33;15

Brian Proctor

And if something bad happened, he’d have me look for the good in it. And sometimes, you know that maybe it wasn’t so easy, but he would have me try to find the good in it. And, he was just always reinforcing whatever good I was doing, which is a great way of building self-image, building, you know, self-worth. And then he would end it and he would say, Brian, you are capable of being doing or having anything you want in this life.

 

00;55;33;18 – 00;55;39;29

Brian Proctor

So you’re going to go to sleep tonight and have a great sleep. When you wake up in the morning, you got a big smile on your face and have a wonderful day.

 

00;55;40;02 – 00;55;40;19

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

00;55;40;22 – 00;56;10;19

Brian Proctor

So give kids, boy, that’s, that’s a thing to do. Here’s the cool thing. So, gosh, I just I remember that so clear. And, I mean, I’m going back, 60 years. But that changed my life. And I did that with my children. And I remember doing. And I was actually here in the studio, I was doing an interview maybe a year ago, and my son was in the, the studio in that operating room there.

 

00;56;10;22 – 00;56;29;16

Brian Proctor

And he heard this interview that I was doing. Yeah. I did it with my kids, and I. I made them superheroes in the story before we went to bed and make them, you know, and that, or Danny came running into the room is. Is that. I remember that you call them a dream pact. And, you know, you sometimes think that the kids even remember some of these things we do, but they do.

 

00;56;29;21 – 00;56;56;22

Brian Proctor

Yeah. And that’s really important. Well, now I have grandchildren, and I see my daughter doing that with my grandchildren, and it’s it’s a really wonderful thing. I think the key with kids is to always reinforce the good that they’re doing, reinforce their good stuff, try to criticize as little as humanly possible and reinforce the good and be a great example.

 

00;56;56;25 – 00;57;16;05

Brian Proctor

Rather than preach, be the example. That’s what my father was for me. He was an example. I knew things weren’t always easy for him, especially in the you know, younger days. He had a lot of hurdles to get over and what I witnessed and how he dealt with that stuff that taught me as much as anything he’d say.

 

00;57;16;07 – 00;57;25;21

Brian Proctor

So I think it’s in the way we act, the way we treat the kids and the way we enforce, you know, a positive, positive viewpoints. That’s what makes up the difference.

 

00;57;25;21 – 00;57;41;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I love that. That’s so I have tears in my eyes. I knew this was going to be an interview where I had a lot of tears in my eyes. Dad. Different times. I don’t think I’ve ever cried in a podcast episode till this one. So I knew that was going to be. And I’m glad for it. Because, as Mary would say, when our heart opens, our eyes leak.

 

00;57;41;16 – 00;57;43;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I love that.

 

00;57;43;14 – 00;58;05;04

Brian Proctor

Okay, you know, if I could share one other little piece. So I was sharing that story with, somebody on a podcast who is, very well known in the industry, and he’s a very large podcast, and he brought me back to do another follow up podcast afterwards. And he said to me, says, Brian, when you said that story, that really touched me.

 

00;58;05;07 – 00;58;22;24

Brian Proctor

And, he’s a single dad. He has a 16 year old son. He says, I started to do that with my son. And he said to me, he says, Brian, it was really awkward when I started. You can imagine, he said. I came and sat on the edge of the bed and he says, I just put my hand on his on his leg.

 

00;58;22;26 – 00;58;39;29

Brian Proctor

And, you know, he says, we’re both looking at each other kind of weird. And he said, you did it. He said, was it really awkward? But it felt good. And his son liked it, and he kept doing it every night. And he said it got less and less awkward. And it got to the point where the son was really looking forward to it.

 

00;58;40;02 – 00;58;57;06

Brian Proctor

And it was a bonding moment for the two of them. And he says he knows that that one simple little thing is going to change their outcome, their story. Because he’s focused on the good of his son and that’s, I just think we need to do more things like that.

 

00;58;57;09 – 00;59;20;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

So beautiful. I think that really speaks to in relationships, especially if we weren’t raised with personal development or we didn’t come from parents who necessarily talk to us about things, or because our paradigm is, oh, it kind of has to be separate, or this is, you know, I feel awkward, our ability to say, yes, and I’m going to endeavor anyway.

 

00;59;20;21 – 00;59;44;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m going to give it a try, can really break ancestral paradigms of the way that things go, the way that we’re raised. And, you know, I, I know that my, mom had a hard time because she was raised with a mom who never cuddled, never said, I love you. Things of that nature. And so oftentimes when I think about my own mom, I think, wow, she really had to break a paradigm just to say the words, I love you, right?

 

00;59;44;07 – 01;00;03;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

And how hard that must have been. Maybe she felt awkward too. And so to really, you know, know that I love that story because it might feel awkward at first because Mary would say, who does it? Maybe your dad refers to? Who does it feel awkward to? The paradigm. Not the spirit, not the soul in you. I love that story of just.

 

01;00;03;05 – 01;00;24;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

All right, I’m going to keep giving this a try. Even though they’re both kind of looking at each other. What’s going on here? So I want to ask you one more question, and that this is a question I ask to every single guest that comes on this podcast. If you were building a coaching business from the ground up, meaning you can’t take your email list with you, you can’t.

 

01;00;24;11 – 01;00;39;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

You can take your wisdom and everything you’ve gained, but you can’t take any assets with you. Like money. Email list things that you’ve built over the last, you know, 60 years. But you can take your wisdom. What is the first thing you would do if you were building a coaching business today?

 

01;00;39;20 – 01;01;02;04

Brian Proctor

Well, I can tell you exactly what I would do, because that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’ve I’ve been building out a business, with the books and, now doing some coaching, doing some speaking. I didn’t walk away with any kind of list. I started from scratch all over again. And this is what I did. First off, I wrote a book.

 

01;01;02;06 – 01;01;24;05

Brian Proctor

And that book, I put all my experiences in that book. A book you can deliver incredible value with that. People can receive very inexpensively. So it’s it’s important to write a book. Here’s, here’s one thing I learned when I was struggling with writing the book. My wife Corey, gave me a probably the best tip, best suggestion I ever got.

 

01;01;24;07 – 01;01;41;23

Brian Proctor

She said to me, she said, Brian, just write 500 words. When you wake up in the morning, write 500 words, and 500 words is not very much. She said, write 500 words. And when you’re done with the 500 words, go kayaking, go fishing, do whatever the heck you want, but just write. Commit to writing 500 words first thing in the day.

 

01;01;41;26 – 01;02;05;02

Brian Proctor

Well, if you were to do that every single day, you’d actually have two books in a year. So in a half a year, you got a full book. That’s all you need to do. So that would be the first thing, because that book will give you credibility. The second thing is just this get on podcasts, do things to get your message out there to the world.

 

01;02;05;05 – 01;02;28;20

Brian Proctor

It’s very important. You have to be seen. People aren’t going to just find you. That’s right. You have to be seen. And a book, a podcast and try to get yourself on stages. Get yourself on online summits, get yourself out there and just deliver value. Don’t worry about your business. Don’t worry about how am I going to pay the bills?

 

01;02;28;22 – 01;02;48;22

Brian Proctor

If you’re serious about this, you have to make sure you’re delivering solid value. And if you do that, people are going to come knocking on your door. Yeah. And that’s it. That’s the that’s the secret. Now, is that easy? No, it’s not always easy. You know, we got bills to pay. We got things to do.

 

01;02;48;25 – 01;03;05;29

Brian Proctor

But if we’re committed to do this as a business. Lauren, just deliver the best value you can in every possible way. And if you do that, you will build a business, and it will grow, and it’ll grow pretty quickly. And you’ll do really, really well.

 

01;03;06;01 – 01;03;19;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love it. Brian Proctor, thank you so much for the value that you’ve brought for the heartfelt ideas and information. I know this is going to serve every coach that listens to it, and it’s such a privilege and honor to have the opportunity to interview you today.

 

01;03;19;16 – 01;03;23;16

Brian Proctor

Well, thank you very much. I’ve really enjoyed being here, and it’s been great meeting you and talking with.

 

01;03;23;23 – 01;03;27;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

You as well.

 

01;03;27;09 – 01;03;58;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

Thanks for joining me this week on The Abundant Coach. Visit our website at Brave Thinking institute.com/coach certification, where you can dive even deeper with additional resources and exciting opportunities. Be sure to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcast so you’ll never miss an episode. And while you’re at it, if you loved the show, please rate and review to find out how to jump start your abundant coaching career and more about my journey to seven figure coach, check out our free.

 

01;03;58;15 – 01;04;06;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

Meant to Be a Life Coach quiz available at bti.com/coachquiz. I’ll see you in the next episode.