Do you want to wow your man in bed, but you’re too shy to ask him what he’d like?
Believe it or not, this question comes up time and time again from women in monogamous, committed, fulfilling relationships: What do men consider great sex?
The real deal is that there are four factors that will leave a man feeling like he’s got an amazing sex life with you. And, these four factors are actually fun, simple and easy to make a part of your bedroom routine!
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And if you’re thinking, “Okay, but why do I have to do all the work in the bedroom?” The answer is, you don’t! Great sex is reciprocal. It’s give and take. So it’s about making the lovemaking great for BOTH of you 🙂
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The idea here is that understanding what most men consider great sex makes knockin’ the boots way more pleasurable for YOU, too!
So without further adieu, let’s take a look at the four factors that lead to men feeling like they’ve just had great sex.
WHAT HE CONSIDERS GREAT SEX #1: Frequency
The first secret to what men consider great sex is easy, it’s frequency – the number of times you’re actually being intimate with your man.
So take a quick inventory of your sex life. Realistically, how often are you two gettin’ busy?
There’s a great quote from a movie from the ‘90s where a man says, “You know, sex is like pizza… even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good!”
Let’s be real: How many of us would actually turn down a slice of pizza, regardless of the type? 😉
In a man’s mind, sex that’s being HAD is better than no sex at all. Every man has a certain frequency he desires. And every man is different in the number of times he wants to be intimate with you. If your man wants to get busy a few times a week, and you’re only doing it a few times a month, he’s most likely going to feel unfulfilled in the bedroom.
And listen, I don’t care how beautiful you are, how smokin’ hot you are, I don’t care how great the sex is when you have it… if your man is getting it less than he desires it, he’s STILL going to be unfulfilled.
So what’s the easiest way to address sexual frequency in the relationship? TALK to each other. Ask him how often he feels the urge to have sex with you. And remember: You’re HIGHLY attractive to him, or he wouldn’t be with you!
And we all know how good it feels to be wanted (Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me” anyone?), so encourage him to reach out and communicate when he desires you!
WHAT HE CONSIDERS GREAT SEX #2: Variety
The second secret to what your man considers a great sex life is variety. In other words, you gotta change things up in the bedroom!
There’s great research that shows that routine lulls the brain to sleep, and sex is no exception to this reality.
Really hear me on this one! Routine lulls the brain to sleep. Routine lulls the brain to sleep. Routine lulls the brain to sleep… bet you’re bored of this paragraph already! 😉
The good news? There are TONS of ways to make your sex life more varied. Phew!
Get creative and try different positions with your man. There are literally hundreds and hundreds out there! If you’re doing missionary position every time, he’s going to get bored, bottom line.
There’s doggy style, froggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, Italian chandelier… I mean, the sky’s the limit! A quick Google search and an open mind is all you need to introduce all kinds of new sex positions into your life.
You can also try making love in different rooms of the house. Try getting busy in the shower, or on the kitchen counter, or on the living room floor. And try having different kinds of sex. Some days are for long, drawn out, romantic sex and others are for intense, rough-and-tumble type romps!
No matter what, the key is infusing VARIETY into your sex life. Trust me, you’ll both benefit, and you’ll both learn a whole lot more about what turns you on. You might be surprised what he tells you that he likes!
WHAT HE CONSIDERS GREAT SEX #3: Fantasy
Okay, now real talk: Every man has sexual fantasies. If he says he doesn’t, he’s lying.
And chances are, you have fantasies too! So go and EXPLORE them together.
Maybe his fantasy is having sex on the 50 yard line of his high school football field. Maybe he’d love it if you dressed up like a nurse or a french maid for him.
One of my wife’s fantasies had always been to have sex on a beach, so on our honeymoon in Cancun we totally snuck out to the beach at night, found the perfect spot, and made love right there on the beach. Boom!
It was her fantasy, but believe me when I say that it was great fun for BOTH of us 🙂
If your man hasn’t shared any of his fantasies with you, don’t be shy, ask him! Or you can lead the way and tell him one of yours, which you better believe will be a huge turn-on for him.
Fulfilling each other’s fantasies adds spice to the relationship and will take your love connection and sex life to whole new level.
WHAT HE CONSIDERS GREAT SEX #4: Intensity
Men are goal oriented. We are wired to want to achieve or create something.
As much as we want to enjoy sex, we want to enjoy YOU enjoying sex. Because when you show the intensity of your enjoyment, it makes us feel like we’ve accomplished something. Like we’ve done a great job 🙂
Absolutely nothing is worse for a man than the “dead fish” experience – having sex with a woman and seeing zero signs of her enjoyment.
So don’t hold back! Let go of any fears you may have that he may think you’re too wild, for example. Express yourself. Make noises, grab hold of him and squeeze him, show him you’re into it. Your man will love it!
When a man sees physical signs of your enjoyment… like your legs shaking or your toes curling, for example… he thinks to himself, “I did that!” The sense of accomplishment brings him immense pleasure.
So give yourself the freedom to drive up the intensity during sex, and it’ll drive your man CRAZY!
Time to Get Busy!
So there you have it – the four factors that contribute to what men consider great sex: Frequency, Variety, Fantasy, and Intensity.
Remember that sex is reciprocal, so better sex for your man means better sex for YOU, too!
And as I’ve mentioned, communication is KEY when discussing sexual desires, so be open and ready for conversations about how you two can up your game and for the extraordinary lovemaking to follow. I know maybe these conversations may feel a bit intimidating at first, but trust me – you got this!
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