00;00;03;25 – 00;00;27;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
Welcome to the abundant coach. I’m your host Lauren brilliant Newton. This is a weekly podcast about creating full spectrum success with a thriving coaching business while making a profound difference in the world. Each week you’ll discover insights, strategies and inspiration to help you attract your ideal clients, facilitate real transformation in their lives, and grow your coaching business while living your purpose.
00;00;27;13 – 00;00;32;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
The true freedom and fulfillment.
00;00;32;06 – 00;00;53;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
Well, hey, hey, and welcome back to the Abundant Coach. Super happy every time you tune in. I feel so grateful that we’re getting to navigate some of the things together that all of us coaches go through. And here’s the thing I always want us to be thinking about as coaches. It’s not like you become a six or seven or eight figure coach and there’s no more paradigms and there’s no more doubt and everything is just rainbows and butterflies.
00;00;53;17 – 00;01;10;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
There is certainly always going to be our own green growing edges, no matter what level of coaching we’re up. And as you get to develop yourself through this podcast and through putting yourself in structures of support and mentorship that are really going to help you, you’re going to see that the doubts and the fears, they don’t go away.
00;01;10;11 – 00;01;31;03
Lauren Brollier Newton
We just get so much better at navigating them. And that’s what this episode today is really about, is helping you navigate something that I know for many coaches can be challenging, and that is building unshakable confidence as a coach. How do you build an unshakable confidence? And so I’m going to go into a lot of tips and tricks today and things to be thinking about.
00;01;31;06 – 00;01;48;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
They’re not what you might think. So I’m really excited. Hopefully it’ll feel disruptive in a good way to you that there’s some things that maybe you haven’t known that you could try or use or develop that are really going to support you in becoming a much, much more confident coach. Let’s begin with a quote. I love this one.
00;01;48;15 – 00;02;18;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
In any given moment, you have two options to step forward with growth or to shrink back to safety. And that’s Abraham Maslow, who wrote that quote. You’re either going to step forward with growth or you’re going to shrink back to safety. And that’s every single one of us. You’re not alone in that. And so when we’re thinking about our confidence as a coach, for those of you who are just beginning, your confidence might just be getting yourself to your first networking meeting or reaching out to your market or doing that first thing that feels scary.
00;02;18;17 – 00;02;41;17
Lauren Brollier Newton
For those of you who are veterans, you’re generating a great salary with your coaching. Your green growing edges on confidence might be the bigger stages or thinking about pitching yourself to a much bigger organization. And then you start to feel a little scared or a little. I’m confident about that. So let’s be sure now that we’re going to take today’s work and we’re going to apply it.
00;02;41;20 – 00;03;01;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
Because the first thing that I want to say to all of you, and I hope that this is disruptive in a good way, is that I actually don’t believe you have to build confidence in yourself. I don’t believe that you have to have confidence in yourself first before you can become an absolutely amazing coach who put themself out there and helps lots of people.
00;03;01;15 – 00;03;28;08
Lauren Brollier Newton
The thing that I want you to build confidence in is what you’re teaching that, yes, we respect the teacher for sure, but we’re going to revere the teaching much more than the teacher. And so if you believe in your modality, if you believe that your type of coaching works, whether it’s fitness coaching, health coaching, life coaching, spiritual coaching, business coaching, whatever kind of coaching you’re doing, do you believe in what you’re teaching?
00;03;28;11 – 00;03;48;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
Because if you do, then you can take yourself out of the equation and you can build your confidence over time that might be one of my greatest tips. Now you might be thinking, How do I do that? I’m still at the networking meeting. I’m still terrified of getting up and talking in front of people. The terror comes from you believing that you’re being exposed, that the focus is on you.
00;03;48;27 – 00;04;16;06
Lauren Brollier Newton
And that’s why if I can keep making the teaching that’s going to help people, the center stream of my business of when I go out and I and I talk, that can be super, super helpful. When I first started coaching, I was still living in my parents basement. I didn’t have the whole everything figured out. However, I loved the material I was teaching so much that I just wanted everybody to have it.
00;04;16;09 – 00;04;38;10
Lauren Brollier Newton
So let’s now talk about cultivating this deep belief in what it is you’re teaching. I want to just share a great story from astronaut Buzz Aldrin. So Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, first ones to land on the moon. And Neil Armstrong was once interviewed about this. And he was asked, how did you get the courage to go to the moon?
00;04;38;12 – 00;05;03;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
The interviewer said, you know, you’re basically flying in a tin can up to a mass structure that nobody’s ever been to before. You don’t know if you’re going to come home safely. How did you get the courage? And Buzz Aldrin actually said, I don’t believe in courage. I actually don’t believe in courage because they actually put diapers on us when we flew up to the moon and none of us had a dry diaper after liftoff.
00;05;03;03 – 00;05;23;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
So I don’t I don’t actually believe in courage, he said. What I believed in was my training. What I believed in was my training because we had the mathematics, the engineers, the best organization in the world that was telling us that we were going to make it. And I had hours and hours and hours and hours of training.
00;05;23;17 – 00;05;39;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
So I didn’t I didn’t try to find courage. I believed in my training. He’s saying the same thing that I’m saying in terms of believing in what you’re teaching. You don’t have to get rid of the fear. You will feel a little afraid every time you stand up in a networking meeting, you’re going to feel a little butterflies in your stomach.
00;05;39;17 – 00;05;58;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
One of my favorite quotes I don’t remember who said it, but it’s like, okay, you feel butterflies in your stomach. Get them to fly information to your destination. All right, cool. I’m here. This is what I’m going to do. So building unshakable confidence as a coach, I can tell you how to become more self-confident. And I will. But forget the self-confidence for a second.
00;05;58;15 – 00;06;18;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
Take it off yourself and let’s put it on what? The things that you’re teaching could do for the people that you’re helping. Number one, my guess is if you’re a coach who hasn’t been trained or hasn’t gotten started yet or doesn’t have a curriculum, you’re you can teach. Get yourself into a program. I don’t care what it is.
00;06;18;04 – 00;06;36;02
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’d love for you to be in our program, but if life coaching is not for you, look at any kind of program that teaches you a structure that absolutely is proven to help people. Because if you don’t have a structure to take people through, of course you’re not going to be confident. How are you to put yourself out there if you don’t know what you’re teaching and what you’re doing and if you believe in it?
00;06;36;04 – 00;06;56;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
So for those of you who haven’t established that yet, that’s step one. Go find a training program where you can get trained in something that actually works in helping people. That’s number one. But if you are a coach that has training, let’s just take an assessment right now. How deeply do you believe that what you’re offering is going to help people?
00;06;56;04 – 00;07;17;16
Lauren Brollier Newton
How deeply do you believe that what you’re offering is going to help people and just do a gut check on that? If you’re not getting it, I know deeply this is going to help people. Here’s the issue. All right. Tough love. Now, here’s the problem. If you don’t deeply believe that your modality or what you’re teaching is going to help people, you haven’t yet put yourself through it.
00;07;17;19 – 00;07;37;28
Lauren Brollier Newton
In other words, you know about it. You’ve learned it, you’ve trained in it, maybe you’ve certified in it, but have you let it show you what it can do? Have you let it show you what it can do? Because if you let it show you what it can do and you were having great results in your own life, then you’d be telling everybody about it.
00;07;38;00 – 00;07;57;26
Lauren Brollier Newton
But so many of you coaches now I’m scolding you. I’m shaking my finger at you. No, I’m not scolding you. I’m I’m hoping, hopefully opening your mind to what could be a positive next step for you. Many times we learn the modality. I don’t care if you’re a fitness coach, life coach, whatever it is, you learn the modality, you might dabble in it.
00;07;57;29 – 00;08;17;25
Lauren Brollier Newton
You’re you can take a test on it, but are you using it every day in your own life? Because if you were, you’d be seeing results. And if you were seeing results, you’d want everybody to have it. Practice what you teach and you’ll gain tons of confidence. That’s why I wanted everybody to have it, because I was doing it and I could see, Oh my gosh, this is making me feel so much better.
00;08;17;27 – 00;08;38;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
I have confidence in the teaching now, in the modality, in the thing that I know can help people. Of course I want them to have that. Sometimes our coaches are right, and to me, whether they’re in one of our after support programs or they’re in our certification program or they’re wanting to be or whatever it is, and they’ll say, ask a question like, you know, I’m not confident, I’m not having money.
00;08;38;01 – 00;08;57;10
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’m feeling all these challenges. And do you have any advice for me? And by and large, what I often say is, yes, take the program, the program that you’re certified to coach. Take yourself through it. It would help you. There’s the whole purpose of having this. Take yourself through it. Do the thing. Practice the principles. And let’s have a conversation.
00;08;57;10 – 00;09;20;17
Lauren Brollier Newton
Four weeks from now, it’ll be a completely different conversation. So be using your own modality that builds confidence in the training in the thing itself. I want to I want to go macro for a second and talk about how the universe works. She’s talking about how the universe works for a moment. So if I back up and I look at this precise and exquisite universe we live in.
00;09;20;19 – 00;09;42;03
Lauren Brollier Newton
Everything in this universe is operating in a systematic way. Look at just the way your blood circulates in the body, in your body, where oxygen is produced by a tree or a plant. Look at the way that gravity works every time with accurate precision. It’s not like. It’s not like Lauren got to stay on Earth this morning and everybody else flew into space.
00;09;42;05 – 00;10;03;16
Lauren Brollier Newton
Gravity works for everybody and it’s immutable. You can’t change it. It’s a law. You look at electricity. If your house is wired properly, you will get electricity every time. It’s a law of the universe that works and it’s not biased. In other words, it’s not like, okay, Lauren’s a woman, so she can’t have electricity, but her husband camera’s a man so she can have electricity.
00;10;03;16 – 00;10;31;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
No, the universe doesn’t operate that way. Sometimes people operate that way. But the universe isn’t biased. It doesn’t care what your religion, color, creed, any of that. The laws work every time. Any kind of coaching must be based on these universal laws and the precision, the precision of these laws. So in life coaching, there is absolutely a way that human transformation occurs.
00;10;31;06 – 00;10;56;00
Lauren Brollier Newton
It’s as precise as the very universal laws of gravity and electricity. You get trained in them and then you teach them to others and they will work every time. They’re not biased. They’re not biased at all. So if you’re even even in terms of like health or fitness coaching, not everybody ality might be right for every person. However, if each person you talked to actually did the thing in your program, they’d be successful.
00;10;56;01 – 00;11;14;25
Lauren Brollier Newton
We know that that’s what you build the belief in. I believe in the laws of this universe. I know they work. I’ve seen them work because I’ve applied them in my own life. I’ve coached others through them. They work every time. That is how I get zero. Doubt is if the person actually applied this in their life, would they be successful?
00;11;14;27 – 00;11;39;20
Lauren Brollier Newton
Hell yes. That’s what I’m confident and that’s what I want you to be confident in. Whatever your wherever you got your training. Okay. So I think I’ve. I think I’ve beaten that drum right. Long enough with that. So you’re built, you’re building more of a belief in the laws themselves. Now, let me just say this, and I’m going to encourage you to the late great Jim Brown used to say, he says, if you don’t like how things are, change it.
00;11;39;26 – 00;12;00;18
Lauren Brollier Newton
You’re not a tree. In other words, you’re not planted there. So here’s that. Here’s the other little bit of encouragement I want to give you. I call it tough love, because sometimes I’m pushing on you. I’m nagging on you in a good way, I hope, because I want you to be successful. One of the other things that I would say is if you’re if you’re taking yourself through your own system, that you’re going to be coaching your clients through.
00;12;00;18 – 00;12;23;09
Lauren Brollier Newton
So, for example, your life coach, you’re taking them through a transformational program. So you’re working on that in your own life or your business coach, You’re growing your own business, you’re working on your own, your own life. And let’s say the lack of confidence is coming from you’re not seeing results fast enough with your own modality. Get a mentor because when you’re inside the frame, it’s hard to see the picture.
00;12;23;09 – 00;12;41;14
Lauren Brollier Newton
So even if you’re taking yourself through the modality, get a mentor, join a program, be doing the thing you’re asking your clients to do that will really help you. Because as you start to have success with your own modality modality, you’ll become more confidence. If you are required to get a mentor, get a mentor to do that, you know the work of a coach.
00;12;41;15 – 00;13;04;00
Lauren Brollier Newton
This is true in all humankind, but you know, if you have a 9 to 5 job and you’re let’s say, I don’t know, stock and grocery store shelves, you can do that without really having to grow yourself. Now, that’s not to say that’s not an important job or but but to do that on a personal level, I don’t have to be doing a lot of personal development in order to grow myself in that area.
00;13;04;02 – 00;13;24;26
Lauren Brollier Newton
As coaches, we are teaching personal development. We’re living it, we’re eating it, we’re breathing it. And if we’re going to attract clients, we’re going to be we’re going to be asking ourselves to grow. So all the ways which you can grow in an effective and efficient and a fast way. I’d be looking for those opportunities. All right. So now let’s get to three things you can do to increase your self-confidence.
00;13;24;26 – 00;13;45;09
Lauren Brollier Newton
Like I said, I want you to be confident in your modality first. Notice that it works. Notice, use it in your own life. All of that good stuff. That’ll help tremendously because you’re not selling yourself, actually, are you selling yourself? Yes, of course. You’re the coach and you’re the face of the business. But ultimately that client doesn’t care who you are or where you came from or where you got certified.
00;13;45;11 – 00;14;17;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
They want the result. And if the training that you provide brings them the result. There’s enough right there. I don’t even have to put myself in the picture. Okay. However, I do want to give you some things to build unshakable confidence in yourself. When I first started coaching, I was just in the middle of a divorce, but I knew from the work that I was doing becoming a coach and going through the program myself and now having a mentor and all, all sorts of good stuff that I wanted to fall in love again.
00;14;18;00 – 00;14;40;14
Lauren Brollier Newton
I knew that that was one of the most important things in my life, is that want that desire to fall in love again. And what I noticed when I thought about myself is I was confident in certain areas of my life. But as a girl, when I when I say I was a girl, like feeling sexy or cute or confident or like anybody would like me or even love me, like no confidence.
00;14;40;16 – 00;15;00;28
Lauren Brollier Newton
And I, I can say now that I have fully deleted that paradigm, but at the time it was so strong, this feeling of being unlovable. Nobody, no man is going to love me. I’m awkward. I’m not very cute. I mean, those were the things I was thinking about myself. So as I noticed those things I wanted to change.
00;15;00;29 – 00;15;19;14
Lauren Brollier Newton
I wanted to be confident in front of any person. And one of the things I noticed was a paradigm that I was facing or a lack of confidence paradigm that I was facing was that I had this thought that if I was attracted to the guy, he wouldn’t be attracted to me. And if he was attracted to me, I wouldn’t be attracted to him.
00;15;19;14 – 00;15;39;22
Lauren Brollier Newton
So I had this whole thing. So every time I imagined going out with someone that I was attracted to, I would imagine I would just have this feeling of like, Oh, I’m going to be so awkward and very lovable and bla. And so I wanted to change that. I’m using a love example, but put this in coaching. I made this networking meeting and I’m not really good at talking and nobody’s going to like what I have to say and they’re not going to buy my product and then I’m just going to continue to be broke.
00;15;39;25 – 00;16;04;19
Lauren Brollier Newton
It’s the same narrative. It’s a self doubt narrative, and it got a muse somehow, and it’s time to transform it. So the first way and this is how I did it and I would encourage you to do it is through using a snapshot image. Here at the Institute we often call the dream achieved snapshot that you imagine yourself in one moment, one day of time, and all of that is transformed.
00;16;04;22 – 00;16;30;08
Lauren Brollier Newton
So what I would imagine to overcome this paradigm of not feeling lovable and if he’s attractive, I’m going to be like a nerd, okay? So I would imagine myself at a dinner table, a two person dinner table in a cute restaurant with a man that I found attractive and I would imagine myself across from him being authentic and feeling beautiful and feeling cute and laughing and feeling lovable.
00;16;30;11 – 00;16;52;28
Lauren Brollier Newton
Now, in real life, did I feel that way at all? No. Zero zip. Nothing but in this image. Remember, we can put on it. It’s like. It’s like acting out a movie script. As an actress, you’re not that character, but you get the script and you pretend like you are. So in my mind, I’m envisioning being at this dinner table, feeling confident, laughing, exchanging ideas, knowing that I’m super cute.
00;16;52;29 – 00;17;13;20
Lauren Brollier Newton
Whatever it is, here’s the power of having an image like that to transform your self confidence, your subconscious mind. So let’s just break this down quickly. Your conscious mind is everything you’re aware of in this moment. I am aware that I’m looking in a camera. I can see that there’s two lights on the side of me. There’s a window in front of me.
00;17;13;20 – 00;17;42;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’m consciously aware of that, but my subconscious mind, the part that I’m not aware of right now is a storehouse of every memory that I’ve ever experienced, every book I’ve ever read, every family memory I’ve ever had processing all sorts of information. That is not my conscious awareness. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference at all between something vividly imagined and something real.
00;17;42;07 – 00;17;59;08
Lauren Brollier Newton
So, for example, I have this big tumbler full of a little hydration mix that I like to drink. Okay, this is real. I can touch it. It’s purple, it’s pink, It’s right here. Okay. I know some of you can’t see it through this thing on a podcast platform, so I’m holding up a big tumbler that’s kind of like a pink and purple tie-dye pattern.
00;17;59;08 – 00;18;27;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
Okay, The reason I’m holding it up is so because I want you to know it’s real, It’s tangible. It’s in my physical reality. Maybe if I pull up to the mic, you can even hear the ice clinking. Okay. Now, if I vividly imagine a wine glass, then I’m going to envision that it’s just a cut crystal wine glass and someone pops a cork and pours chardonnay and I can see that buttery color.
00;18;27;16 – 00;18;56;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
My subconscious mind thinks that the Chardonnay glass is as real as the tumbler, because I’m vividly imagining it. Now, why that matters is because your subconscious mind store everything that got past the filter of the conscious mind. So the way something gets past the filter of the conscious mind is I don’t reject it. So I’m imagining this chardonnay glass and I’m mismatching the pop of the cork in the pour in the cup crystal.
00;18;56;26 – 00;19;23;29
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’ve already got past the filter of my conscious mind because I’m vividly imagining it. I’m feeling it. So now my subconscious mind is going to store that image, just going to relate with this image as if it’s real. Why would I want my subconscious mind to do that with an image of, for example, me sitting at a table with someone I’m attracted to and feeling confident because if my subconscious mind treats it as real, it believes that that’s who I am now.
00;19;24;02 – 00;19;47;27
Lauren Brollier Newton
And your subconscious mind is responsible for about 94% of your behavior. Because most behavior is habitual, you’re not even thinking about it. So if I’m storing images in my subconscious mind of who I’d love to become, and my subconscious mind is treating that as real, that means that over time it’s going to change my behavior. It’s going to change the thoughts.
00;19;47;27 – 00;20;08;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’m thinking it’s going to change the decisions I’m making. It’s going to change how I’m showing up in a room. So you can create an image. So if you’re if your thing is a coaching fear, like I’m sprayed to get up and speak, I’m going to feel like an imposter. What? Put a pause on that and imagine an image where you stand up maybe to a workshop, a room of 30 people, and you’re present and you feel so confident.
00;20;08;15 – 00;20;32;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
People are taking notes and they’re nodding and they’re raising their hand and they’re so engaged. And you’re like commanding that stage. Create that image. Now, I’m going to suggest that you don’t just envision vividly this image one time. You’re not just going to envision this image one time because the image of you not doing well has been going through your mind probably thousands of times.
00;20;32;18 – 00;20;56;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
So every time you feel any doubt, any fear, any anything rise, you’re going to envision this image, even if you don’t feel fear at least a couple of times a day, you’re going to run yourself into this image. And what’s going to happen is your subconscious mind is going to believe that’s who you are. Until one day you walk into a networking meeting, you give a great presentation, you leave, and then all of a sudden you get in your car and you go, Oh my gosh, I wasn’t afraid.
00;20;56;04 – 00;21;18;09
Lauren Brollier Newton
Whoa. And it’s and it’s like, it’s going to feel like magic. But it’s not magic. It’s that you told your mind who you are. That is my height between that and believing deeply in your training, those are my highest recommendations for building that confidence as a coach. But you can’t do it just one time. It’s a thought that you have to think it’s something that you generate to create a different result.
00;21;18;09 – 00;21;38;08
Lauren Brollier Newton
And any time you hear the opposite thoughts, you no longer allow them here, which actually I’m going to skip forward because every once in a while I do a segment that you guys have heard me do called Coached, where someone a coach has written in a question or asked me a question. And I think it’s valuable and probably most people have this question, so I’m going to coach right on the spot.
00;21;38;11 – 00;21;58;25
Lauren Brollier Newton
So this question came from a wonderful woman named Loretta. And the question she asked was, How do I have zero doubt in my belief in the things I want to manifest? I find it quite difficult. I read, repeat, invoke vision and still doubt creeps them. So, Loretta, great question. And in this and this let me coach you through this.
00;21;58;27 – 00;22;17;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
One of the reasons this happens, and this is what I would want you to do an inquiry with yourself around, is that you said I read repeat in recounting vision and still doubt creeps in. You read, you repeat your vision. Beautiful. That’s working with your subconscious mind. It will absolutely change your behavior. It’s going to change those thoughts.
00;22;17;15 – 00;22;36;08
Lauren Brollier Newton
The still doubt creeps in. First of all, most humans are going to have doubt. Mary Morrisey has doubts. Tony Robbins has doubts. They’re just really good at navigating it quickly. So it’s not like doubts never can arise. The more you lean into your vision, the more the paradigm is going to rise. So we don’t want to be alarmed that the doubt is right.
00;22;36;08 – 00;22;52;22
Lauren Brollier Newton
And that’s the first thing. Let’s not make it wrong. Let’s just go. Of course, there’s some doubt. I’m a human. I’m a spiritual being, navigating a human experience. Of course there’s going to be some doubt. So we take the edge off of it. We don’t get up. We don’t get frustrated that there’s still doubt. We don’t get annoyed that there’s still doubt.
00;22;52;24 – 00;23;12;06
Lauren Brollier Newton
But then the next part is when the doubt creeps in, what do you do? Because if you’re just visioning in the morning when you’re doing your morning practice and it’s easy, that is going to reprogram your subconscious mind and over time it will change things. But where the rubber really meets the road is any time that doubt rises.
00;23;12;09 – 00;23;32;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
The faster you nip it, the faster it’s going to go away permanently like that, that particular doubt. So you notice the doubt creep in. What’s the next thought? You think because that’s the make or break moment. Do you say no to that doubt? Do you say no and then go directly to your vision or do you entertain it for a little while?
00;23;32;07 – 00;23;47;18
Lauren Brollier Newton
You know, this brings up speaking of building confidence, this brings up something that I did probably when I was first learning to be a coach and I was first learning these concepts and I was like a sponge. I just wanted every part of it and I wanted to try out every practice. Well, I had noticed a pattern in myself.
00;23;47;18 – 00;24;03;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
Again, this kind of goes back to, you know, I’m not lovable, blah, blah, blah. And this had to do with looks. And my whole life I remember telling myself that I don’t like my legs, I hate my legs, I don’t have nice legs. I’m a and I just told myself that story over and over again. It’s kind of funny.
00;24;03;07 – 00;24;21;12
Lauren Brollier Newton
It’s like, what came first, the chicken or the eggs? Like, because I see the chicken in the legs or the chicken in the eggs. That’s so funny. But anyway, it’s interesting because I remember being like a young person, like maybe nine or ten years old and feeling like I hated my legs. And if I went back to being nine or ten years old, I looked at my legs.
00;24;21;12 – 00;24;39;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
They were probably beautiful and shapely and all those things. And I made up a story. So it’s like, really? Did I form my legs or did that? You know, like, how did that work? So I’m speaking coaching maybe I’m like 30 years old and I still notice this narrative of I hate my legs, my legs are chubby and all.
00;24;39;09 – 00;24;54;17
Lauren Brollier Newton
I decided I was done with that. I’m done with that, just like I’m done with feeling like I’m not going to be attractive in front of a guy. I’m done with telling myself I have found ugly legs, I’m done with it. And so I decided that one of the places where I would criticize my legs is if I happened to catch myself in the mirror.
00;24;54;17 – 00;25;15;22
Lauren Brollier Newton
You know, if I’m just going about my day, I’m not wearing shorts, a skirt or anything like that because I don’t like my legs anyway at that point in my life. So I would usually be like when I pass a mirror or something like that, being a dressing room or something. And so I decided that every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I was going to say, You have got such beautiful legs.
00;25;15;24 – 00;25;31;09
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’m going to actually say that to myself every time I see my legs in mirror, I’m going to say, You have gorgeous legs, beautiful legs. Even if I let’s say I’m in bed and I’m wearing shorts and I get a bed and my legs are in front of me and I start to criticize myself, You’ve got beautiful, gorgeous legs.
00;25;31;11 – 00;26;03;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
Now, Lauretta, going back to your question of what we do when the doubt creeps in, it’s there’s a level of repetition required. So I pass a mirror. My tendency is to want to criticize and I say, No, I’ve got the most beautiful, gorgeous legs. Well, let’s say I’ve been doing this for four or five weeks really rigorously. Every time I pass the mirror, every time I see them, one day I was at Target and I’m going about Target and I’m putting stuff in my shopping cart and I think I might have had a vacation coming up or it was summertime.
00;26;03;15 – 00;26;23;19
Lauren Brollier Newton
And so I go to on a bunch of clothes and I try on shorts and tanks and all sorts of things, buy a couple pair of shorts and come home as I’m unloading the bag from Target and I’m taking the tags off the clothing items I bought, I went, Oh, oh my gosh, I just bought shorts. Holy smokes.
00;26;23;21 – 00;26;45;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
I hadn’t worn shorts probably since I was 12 or 13. And look at how my subconscious mind kicked in there. I’m in Target. I didn’t even really realize in the moment I’m buying shorts. When I was in the dressing room, I didn’t criticize my legs. I didn’t do anything. It was just like normal. And I got home and I had the realization, Oh my gosh, I bought shorts and I didn’t criticize myself and I didn’t worry about it.
00;26;45;26 – 00;27;04;20
Lauren Brollier Newton
And it was like this big time wake up moment of it didn’t take me that long. What I say four or five weeks of passing the mirror and saying, You have beautiful legs. My subconscious mind believed me and it will believe you too. But there has to be a level of rigor to it. It can’t just be. I said it once and then I go back to criticizing myself when I say my vision in the morning.
00;27;04;20 – 00;27;23;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
But then during the day I criticize myself and then I’ll do an image. But then most of the time I’m thinking about how doubtful I am. That’s not going to work. It’s going to take a really long time that way. What it’s going to take is a concentrated rigor in imagining this image that I’ve invited you to design, of you being super confident.
00;27;23;18 – 00;27;39;12
Lauren Brollier Newton
Any time the doubt creeps up, you tell it something different, whether it’s envisioning something or having a little affirmation like I did about my legs, it’s the rigor of doing that over and over again, and it will pay off. But I don’t know the timeline for you. I don’t know how long it’s been there. I don’t know how deep seeded it is.
00;27;39;14 – 00;27;58;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
I can’t know if it’s going to take you two weeks or six weeks or six months. But what I do know is if you do it, you’re going to have a result. So let’s review here two confidence tools. One, get confident in the training. Use it yourself. Let it show you how it works. Be confident in your training, Buzz Aldrin said.
00;27;58;27 – 00;28;17;26
Lauren Brollier Newton
I don’t believe in courage. I believed in my training. Do that because the laws of the universe work. What you’re coaching. I’m guessing if you have any type of certification that wasn’t just like $25 on online for 2 minutes. But if you have any type of type of a deeper certification and whatever modality you’re teaching, that modality works.
00;28;17;26 – 00;28;54;26
Lauren Brollier Newton
I would bet money on that modality works if someone actually applies it. So get believing in that, know that that can help people get interested in the teaching. Read all the testimonials of how it changed people’s lives. That way you don’t have to be the front and center be all and all the training works, but you can build even more confidence in yourself, in your ability to walk in a room or make a phone call, or offer your services by having an image that you’ve created a snapshot moment of one day in time where you are fully confident and playing that scene over and over and over again in your own head.
00;28;54;28 – 00;29;09;00
Lauren Brollier Newton
And it will change your subconscious mind. But it can’t just be once. All right. I can’t wait to hear how this all works out for you. I love you all very much, and I’ll see you in the next episode.
00;29;09;02 – 00;29;39;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
Thanks for joining me this week on The Abundant Coach. Visit our Web site at Brave Thinking Institute dot com slash coach dash certification where you can dive even deeper with additional resources and exciting opportunities. Be sure to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcast so you’ll never miss an episode. And while you’re at it, if you loved the show, please rate and review to find out how to jump start your abundant coaching career and more about my journey to seven Figure coach.
00;29;39;04 – 00;29;45;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
Check out our Free Meant to Be a life coach quiz. Available at bti.com/coachquiz.
00;29;45;26 – 00;29;47;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’ll see you in the next episode.
