00;00;03;23 – 00;00;31;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

Welcome to the abundant coach. I’m your host, Lauren Brollier Newton. This is a weekly podcast about creating full spectrum success with a thriving coaching business, while making a profound difference in the world. Each week, you’ll discover insights, strategies, and inspiration to help you attract your ideal clients. Facilitate real transformation in their lives, and grow your coaching business while living your purpose with true freedom and fulfillment.

 

00;00;31;27 – 00;00;50;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

Well, welcome to the Abundant Coach podcast and boy oh boy do I have a good one for you today. This next guest is someone that I’ve been following for years. I quote him so often. For those of you there brave thinking Institute coaches, you’ve heard me quote him many, many, many times and so we are just thrilled to have him on the podcast today.

 

00;00;50;23 – 00;01;19;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

So let me introduce you. Introduce you to Richard Bliss Brooke. He’s been a full time network marketing leader, company owner, and high performance coach since 1977. He built his own team of 30,000 active sales leaders by the age of 28, and then purchased a network marketing company in 1986. That company won many, many awards. He was featured on the cover of success magazine, and he’s the author of the book that you often hear me quote, which is Mach two.

 

00;01;19;10 – 00;01;40;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

So we’re going to talk a lot about vision today. Mark two, how to get yourself and keep yourself motivated for life. He’s also the author of the four year career The Promise of Network Marketing. He has shared the stage with some of the biggest personal development and network marketing leaders such as Tony Robbins, John Maxwell, Sir Richard Branson, Les Brown and even Pitbull.

 

00;01;40;14 – 00;01;48;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I think we have to talk about that one. Further ado, let me introduce to you Richard Bliss. Brooke. Richard, thank you for being on the show.

 

00;01;48;07 – 00;01;50;22

Richard Bliss Brooke

It’s a great honor, Lauren. Thank you for having me.

 

00;01;50;25 – 00;02;11;26

Lauren Brollier Newton

Such my pleasure. So let’s just let’s go to the beginning. I often don’t start at the beginning, but in your case, I think it’s so fascinating that by the age of 28, you were leading a team of 30,000. So, like, how does that happen? On what planet does that happen? So tell me a little bit about, what that was and how that occurred for you.

 

00;02;11;29 – 00;02;36;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

Well, I was very fortunate to randomly, without any due diligence or understanding of the profession, very fortunate to join a network marketing company, that the culture was all leadership and character development. That’s who they were and what they did. Yes, we had a product and yes, there was an income option, but all of the training was was around transformational development.

 

00;02;36;11 – 00;03;00;27

Richard Bliss Brooke

And so, you know, they changed me. I entered that business. Barely a high school graduate with a four year degree and cutting chickens for a living. And six years later, I, I was leading a very big, dynamic sales force of people that were way smarter than me.

 

00;03;01;00 – 00;03;05;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s amazing. So when you say cutting chickens, by the way, he means literally cutting chickens.

 

00;03;05;24 – 00;03;08;06

Richard Bliss Brooke

Yeah, literally. That’s what I did for a living.

 

00;03;08;10 – 00;03;28;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

So with the skills. So when you’re leading. So I’m assuming that having been a young man, like you said, not having a ton of educational experience, leading a team of many people who it sounds like you felt like had more experience than you, how did you overcome the self-limiting paradigms of, I don’t know anything, I’m just a young kid.

 

00;03;28;10 – 00;03;40;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m not good enough because I know many coaches, as they start their career, think they have to be perfect in order to help someone else. So could you speak to how you got your mindset around that particular thing?

 

00;03;40;12 – 00;03;57;27

Richard Bliss Brooke

Yeah, that’s a great that’s a great question, Lauren, because I saw it handicap a lot of people. I was young, 22 when I started, and a lot of the people I was working with were college educated. In fact, the number one person on my team had a Ph.D..

 

00;03;57;29 – 00;04;00;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

So, gosh.

 

00;04;00;15 – 00;04;20;18

Richard Bliss Brooke

You know, I could have I could have got trapped in that, but I didn’t for two reasons. It’s all about story, you know? So I was taught early on we didn’t use all the same words. We used today. We didn’t use the word vision or story or any of that. But, you know, I just changed my perspective and adopted a perspective that empowered me.

 

00;04;20;18 – 00;04;46;24

Richard Bliss Brooke

And it was very simply this in the profession that I was coaching these people to be successful at, that they chose to participate in. I didn’t drag them in. I didn’t tell them they should do it. They wanted to be successful in my profession. The perspective that I held was they don’t know anything about it. So they may have a PhD in that guy had a PhD in food science.

 

00;04;46;24 – 00;05;08;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

He was in charge of all the research and development for Quaker Oats for like 30 years. And so I don’t know anything about food science and research and development of food products. And but he didn’t know anything about my business, and I just held that perspective that I had the PhD, and he barely got out of high school in this.

 

00;05;08;13 – 00;05;40;06

Richard Bliss Brooke

And I didn’t carry that as arrogance. I just carried that as confidence. And then in the second area, which is, you know, I think maybe more bold, but worked even though I was not wealthy at the time, I was doing most of this coaching. I did know how we could all get wealthy. I knew exactly how we could do it, because I had been taught by people who had done it, and we’re doing it.

 

00;05;40;08 – 00;05;46;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

And these people came to my opportunity wanting to get wealthy this way.

 

00;05;46;24 – 00;05;48;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

00;05;48;04 – 00;06;16;08

Richard Bliss Brooke

So I made their money, my business. And I say it that way because in coaching, one of the areas that I find people, well they drop the ball and they just don’t play fallout is there. They come to coaching oftentimes with paradigms and beliefs that were given to them by the culture in which they were raised. And one of those is, you know, that’s none of your business.

 

00;06;16;11 – 00;06;32;09

Richard Bliss Brooke

So but I was in the money business. I was in the business of teaching people to make money. So I couldn’t afford the belief that asking you about your money, how much money do you want to make? When do you want to retire? What kind of home do you want to? And I would even ask people, how much do you have now?

 

00;06;32;16 – 00;06;52;14

Richard Bliss Brooke

How much do you have in liquid assets? What do you earn now? Right. People would be horrified that I would be asking those questions, but my perspective was, hey, I’m in the money business and you want to get wealthy doing so. Your money is my business. That’s what I do, right? It was a stockbroker or an investment counselor or a psychiatrist that you came to.

 

00;06;52;17 – 00;07;15;06

Richard Bliss Brooke

I wouldn’t be afraid to ask these questions. So I just adopted those perspectives and those stories that I had a right, and I had authority, and I had knowledge that they didn’t have. And they came to me. I didn’t go to them, even though I may have prospected and enrolled them. I just the way I did it was, hey, this is what we’re doing.

 

00;07;15;09 – 00;07;46;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

Take a look. If it’s a fit, great. We didn’t strongarm people to join us. So it just it was a natural, organic way to do it. And I think that’s a really important distinction for coaches is whatever you’re coaching people on, including their own story, their own psychology, their own paradigms, their own beliefs, everything about them, if you’re coaching them, is your business, and you better have the courage to ask anything.

 

00;07;46;25 – 00;08;05;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that, I love that so much. What I love that you’re saying is when the PhD comes to you, he doesn’t know anything about your business. He knows a lot. He’s well versed. And that’s one of the things that I think is so important, especially because many of our listeners are life coaches and they’re helping people with their thinking.

 

00;08;05;16 – 00;08;32;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

And most people on this planet actually don’t even yet know that they can think a different thought, and it can change their results. Right? So just by knowing that as a coach, you’re so far ahead of the game in terms of what most people know. And I love that. I love what you brought there. And also that you might not have made your millions yet in the beginning, but you were being trained by people who had and that you could stand on the shoulders of that.

 

00;08;32;09 – 00;08;52;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love the, the passion in which you said I knew how we were going to do it, even though I hadn’t fully done it yet. I just love how you owned that’s so powerful, so powerful. So take me to, Maria. Our founder likes to joke that in her day, when when she would say, I’m a coach, people would say, what sport?

 

00;08;52;06 – 00;09;11;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so you’ve been coaching people since the 1970s. So tell me how you started to realize that, that it was really, truly both in the market, network marketing industry. And then as you started coaching business leaders and things like that, how did you realize that it really was a coaching game, that it really was a mental game. Like what?

 

00;09;11;08 – 00;09;15;22

Lauren Brollier Newton

What made you become aware of that because you were one of the groundbreakers?

 

00;09;15;24 – 00;09;38;12

Richard Bliss Brooke

Yeah, that’s a great question, Lauren. And I’m not exactly sure how I had that insight. What I watched other people doing in my profession was focusing on the products. Of course, the products are incredibly important. You don’t make any money without products. But I found people just they went all in on the products. They became product experts.

 

00;09;38;12 – 00;09;58;12

Richard Bliss Brooke

They spent all their time talking about the products, selling the products, and then the people that were focused on the income option. They tended to focus on the compensation plan, how the percentages work and all that kind of stuff. And what I noticed. How did I notice this? I don’t know, maybe I was paying attention, maybe I had an intention to notice it.

 

00;09;58;12 – 00;10;22;04

Richard Bliss Brooke

What I noticed was none of that really mattered if people were motivated, if people were motivated, they would figure the product out. If they were motivated, they would figure the money out. And so my secret sauce how I built a team of 30,000 people by the time I was 28, was not by being a product expert, not even by being a network marketing expert or the comp plan expert or my company.

 

00;10;22;04 – 00;10;54;28

Richard Bliss Brooke

None of that. I focused purely on people’s motivation, their perspective, their story. What was the story they had about them being successful? What was the story they had? You know what I had? How did you become a coach? Well, because I got started in network marketing and man, I think the only way you’re going to succeed in network marketing is you better figure out how to coach, because everybody’s story that joined you is, I don’t want to do this, and I don’t know anybody that wants to do this.

 

00;10;55;00 – 00;10;57;29

Richard Bliss Brooke

And I don’t want to ask anybody if they want to do this.

 

00;10;57;29 – 00;10;59;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

Exactly.

 

00;10;59;08 – 00;11;24;15

Richard Bliss Brooke

So what are you doing here? Well, I love the people and I love the product and the events are great. And it’s so much fun and yet, okay, so I had to change people’s story about their own abundance, their own ability to not only bring money to them, but I had to change their story about talking to other people about their money.

 

00;11;24;18 – 00;11;46;05

Richard Bliss Brooke

Because if you’re going to recruit people to sell a product and join an income option, you’re in the money business. Yeah, sure. The product business we were we had mastery of that. That was easy. The challenging part was how do you gain mastery around money if you don’t have a PhD in money or you’re not a multi-millionaire or billionaire?

 

00;11;46;07 – 00;12;12;28

Richard Bliss Brooke

If you’re just a normal person, how do you bring to another person the authority of money? It’s a story. And so I just focused on on people’s own motivation, their own goals. You know, nobody that nobody. But and in the late 70s, nobody ever met anybody. That’s an extreme statement. It’s not true. But hardly anybody ever ran into any anybody who asked them, what do you want.

 

00;12;13;00 – 00;12;13;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s really.

 

00;12;13;13 – 00;12;30;13

Richard Bliss Brooke

Want to live? Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? What do you want to contribute? And you know, way beyond the what kind of car do you want to drive in? That ridiculous stuff was I just went deep with people. How do you want to matter? What do you what do you want the journey to be like?

 

00;12;30;13 – 00;12;35;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

And it worked long because nobody had ever asked him those questions before.

 

00;12;35;19 – 00;12;36;19

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

00;12;36;21 – 00;13;09;09

Richard Bliss Brooke

And then my back end secret sauce was listening. Listening has always been the key to my coaching. A lot of people think coaching is telling people what to do. And I very I do very little telling people what to do. I ask a lot of questions and then I am dialed in to all the answer, not only what they’re saying, but who they’re being when they say it, what they don’t say, what they might want to say, but didn’t say all of it.

 

00;13;09;12 – 00;13;18;16

Richard Bliss Brooke

Just a sponge. And that listening actually gives me the intuition for the next question.

 

00;13;18;18 – 00;13;39;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s so true. There’s I mean, I could ask you a million questions just based on that answer. It’s so good, so juicy. But I’ll go back to, you know, you’re talking about network marketing and actually, before I even ask this question, could you give the listeners, the coaches who are not familiar with network marketing, just a quick three second intro to what is network marketing Amway?

 

00;13;39;09 – 00;13;41;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

Okay, well, no.

 

00;13;41;12 – 00;13;42;28

Richard Bliss Brooke

Everybody knows about Amway.

 

00;13;43;01 – 00;13;46;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

So actually. Yeah, we’re we’re in Amway.

 

00;13;46;25 – 00;14;15;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

But that model and it’s it is a model where every customer can recruit other customers. And if you just understand that, well, if I recruit you and you can recruit somebody and they can recruit somebody and they can recruit somebody, you asked me at the beginning, how did I get 30,000 people on my team compounded recruiting? Like for who get four, who get four, who get four, who get four.

 

00;14;15;11 – 00;14;38;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

Never works like that. But, it’s it is a perfectly legal, incredibly profound leveraged income option that has been abused horribly for 70 or 80 years. And it has a horrible reputation. So if you’re going to succeed in it, you better be ten foot tall and bulletproof.

 

00;14;38;20 – 00;14;40;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

Because.

 

00;14;40;18 – 00;14;43;07

Richard Bliss Brooke

The marketplace will cheer you up and spit you out. If you’re.

 

00;14;43;07 – 00;15;06;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

Not, there you go. And if you want more information about network marketing, I’m going to plug Richard’s book, The Four Year Career, because that’s where you’re going to find how to, if you’re interested in it, how to authentically and ethically build a really wonderful income as part of network marketing. So let’s go back to the question I was going to ask which a statement I was going to make, and then I’ll turn it into a question.

 

00;15;06;10 – 00;15;28;19

Lauren Brollier Newton

But you mentioned in network marketing that often people will say, I don’t want to recruit my friends. I don’t want to talk to this person. I don’t want to do that. Your question is, all right, why are we here? So one thing that I discovered through training and certifying so many coaches here at the institute, one thing we see all the time is that a coach can not be that different from a network marketer, and that the coach will come and get certified.

 

00;15;28;22 – 00;15;47;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

And at Brave Thinking Institute, we give them the the business building tools as well, how to market, how to enroll, how to do all that stuff. But then when we get to the how to market and we share different things networking, speaking engagements, calling your warm market, inviting them to your own workshops, sometimes a similar thing will come up.

 

00;15;47;08 – 00;16;09;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

Well, I don’t want to do any of that stuff. Right. And then, you know, it’s a mindset thing. It’s a mindset thing. And that’s where we have to go first. So I think it’s really important for us to notice that. Richard is saying that it’s actually a person’s motivation that is actually going to create the success. And a lot of our coaches, similar to someone in network marketing, think like they have to know everything about the product.

 

00;16;09;08 – 00;16;33;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

They have to know everything about the science of the brain and transformation before they can coach someone. So if you were just going to give a couple quick tips of how to get yourself motivated because we know every coach listening to this podcast does have a Y and is a heart centered coach. What are some of the things you would help them to do to connect to that Y and get over the fear of putting themselves out there to go out and help people?

 

00;16;33;08 – 00;17;12;01

Richard Bliss Brooke

Yeah. Great question. Well, I, I use a pretty simple matrix. I didn’t invent it. I start with a conversation of, core values, authentic core values, as opposed to imposed values. That’s a distinction that I find wakes people up and unleashes some power that they weren’t playing with before. And, you know, short course on that is a lot of us value things in life, what becomes important to us.

 

00;17;12;08 – 00;17;42;05

Richard Bliss Brooke

And then it gives us direction in where we go. And what we do are the things that we hold as valuable. And a lot of those things were imposed on us by authority figures during our formative years. So it’s one through five, as we know that’s we’re pretty much cooked by five. We’re done. And, you know, if our parents valued cleanliness and order or education or if they valued adventure and freedom and independence, you know, we tended to do 1 or 2 things.

 

00;17;42;08 – 00;18;25;19

Richard Bliss Brooke

We either end up like them or we end up rebelling against them our whole life. Both of those courses are anchored in values that were important to somebody else. But may not be important to us. And oftentimes rebels think they’re authentic. They think what they’re doing is living an authentic life, when actually what they’re doing is they’re still tied to that imposed value because they have to they’re addicted to rebelling against it their whole life, so they don’t have freedom of choice to discover what might be true for them if they didn’t have to fight that fight.

 

00;18;25;22 – 00;18;46;28

Richard Bliss Brooke

And so if you just go through some exercises where people can get a sense of, okay, I get it, and then some exercises around, okay, if your parents didn’t have any opinions, if they didn’t program you, if you grew up in the jungle, you know, raised by gorillas, what might be important to you? You know, just maybe just tell the truth.

 

00;18;47;04 – 00;19;09;27

Richard Bliss Brooke

Nobody’s going to criticize, you know, nobody’s going to judge me. Judge you. Let’s do some exercises to find what might be important to you. And oftentimes it’s the same as your parents. It doesn’t necessarily have to always be different, but start with what’s important to you. And you know, that’s that’s hours and hours and hours of work. Second question is what is your gift?

 

00;19;09;29 – 00;19;31;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

And I think that’s a question most people never consider, but they have some intuition around it. But they never really process what is their gift. And the way I quickly distinguish that for people is okay. If you’re dropped into a group of people, you’re all shipwrecked or something, and you get dust the sand off of you and you look around, what are you thrown to do?

 

00;19;32;00 – 00;19;45;10

Richard Bliss Brooke

What are what are you what are you going to do with the people? Are you going to go like, make sure everybody’s okay and, you know, bandage up their wounds. Are you going to go look for water or are you going to go look for help? Or you’re going to organize the group and tell them all what to do?

 

00;19;45;15 – 00;20;08;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

What is your gift? Some people would find some, you know, make joke, some people would play music. Some people would, you know, go solve problems. Some people would leave, some people would bandage everybody up. We all have some sort of gift. And so if you can get in touch with your gift and your authentic values, and then we start asking the question, lots of questions.

 

00;20;08;19 – 00;20;22;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

If you could do anything, if you could be anyone and be is a thousand times more important than have or do. Because when you can set some goals and create some vision and some journey around.

 

00;20;22;23 – 00;20;23;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

Who you want to.

 

00;20;23;08 – 00;20;35;08

Richard Bliss Brooke

Be, then the then the things that you do and the things that you have just come with that. So just lots of conversations around all of that to stimulate that muscle.

 

00;20;35;10 – 00;20;36;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

Of.

 

00;20;36;13 – 00;21;07;28

Richard Bliss Brooke

Imagination, of what’s possible and then even what’s probable. And if you know some simple questions like if you could be anyone, if you could start over and be anyone, who would you want to be? What would you want to do? How would you want to matter? Where would you want to live, and how would you want to contribute to the world and just keep exercising that muscle until people start to establish some things they never thought about before that they want to do?

 

00;21;08;01 – 00;21;40;25

Richard Bliss Brooke

And then the second piece of motivation, motivation is tied to vision. And vision is the story of what I want to be, where I want to go, what I want to do. It’s that story. But it’s not a vision, not a vision that motivates you. Unless we have a degree of probable belief, levels of belief first level is possible if we think what we want is possible, will lean in and put our toe in the water, but we won’t go all in and engage.

 

00;21;40;27 – 00;22;04;22

Richard Bliss Brooke

If we think it’s probable, we will engage, but we won’t go all in until we believe it’s inevitable. So our job as a coach is to not only, like, nurture that process, that creative process of hey, if it was you or the authentic you, the brand new you, what would you want to do? Where would you want to go?

 

00;22;04;22 – 00;22;27;29

Richard Bliss Brooke

Who would you want to be? And then my job is to teach you that it’s at least probable, because when we get to probable, we start getting some traction. You start getting an action, and when you get an action now, we can add the result gets to the belief it’s not just made up belief. And we start to touch on inevitable as part of the vision.

 

00;22;27;29 – 00;22;29;18

Richard Bliss Brooke

And it’s it’s all over.

 

00;22;29;20 – 00;22;30;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;22;30;16 – 00;22;33;21

Richard Bliss Brooke

You’re going to crush anything you want to crush.

 

00;22;33;23 – 00;22;55;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love this like a million different questions I can ask. I’m writing it all down. So I love Let Me Go all the way back to core values. I love when you said rebels think they’re authentic. I feel like after this, I’m going to have to give you a check for a counseling session here, because I know I’ve I’ve always considered myself somewhat as a rebel, like, don’t tell me what to do.

 

00;22;55;20 – 00;23;19;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I think that that comes from parents who were very strict, obviously. So, I like this idea that maybe you’re not being as authentic as you think you are by being a rebel. And if you just ask yourself what your core values are minus all that, what would it be? So I think that’s really powerful. And I remember when I was given this, a similar exercise when I first became certified as a coach here about what my core values were.

 

00;23;19;06 – 00;23;40;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

And Mary gave us a similar idea around it has to mean something to you. Don’t just make it a prescribed thing. One of my core values. And I felt so, like sneaky, making this a core value because it felt like something that shouldn’t be a core value. But I felt great that it could be my core value was downtime.

 

00;23;41;01 – 00;24;02;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

Like I realized for me, I got to have downtime, and I’m going to feel good about that. And once I made downtime or relaxation, one of my core values were it changed the game for me that I didn’t any longer have to prescribe to. If I’m not waking up at 4 a.m. and going to bed at 12 p.m., I don’t have value.

 

00;24;02;08 – 00;24;23;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

And it was a game changer. Give myself permission that that could be a value. Yeah. And so I really, really feel what you’re saying about the core values. So let me ask you this and all your coaching. So when you’re asking about core values, when you’re asking someone what’s your gift, when you’re asking if you could be anything, what would it be?

 

00;24;24;01 – 00;24;30;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

What do you personally do with the person who has the I don’t know, paradigm?

 

00;24;30;15 – 00;24;37;09

Richard Bliss Brooke

Well, you’ve probably heard this hack before it. I mean, it actually works. It works pretty.

 

00;24;37;09 – 00;24;39;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

Good.

 

00;24;39;14 – 00;24;44;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

If you did. Now, what would the answer be?

 

00;24;44;19 – 00;24;46;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

Is it that’s so powerful.

 

00;24;46;13 – 00;25;17;08

Richard Bliss Brooke

That’s crazy. Right? People go, oh well, it would be this, you know, all that is I don’t know is that, you know, that’s a muscle. I haven’t worked, it’s a little atrophied. It’s weak. When I think about making it move, it doesn’t move very good. I’m not comfortable answering that question. And so it’s just a delay tactic. I don’t know I don’t I pay no attention to it.

 

00;25;17;08 – 00;25;51;25

Richard Bliss Brooke

It doesn’t deter me for a second. I might ask him, well, if you did, or I might, I might ask him another question, but what I’m listening for in those answers is truth. And until I hear truth, With with one caveat. Until I hear truth, I don’t give up. And the caveat is, I used to maybe up to maybe 15, 20 years ago.

 

00;25;51;25 – 00;26;31;27

Richard Bliss Brooke

Lauren, I was like a dog with a bone. If if if I thought you really needed a breakthrough and wanted a breakthrough, I would not let up until you had won or you broke down. And what I learned about that process with me is that was me being right. And and pushing people that hard did not work near as well as, nudging people until you get to what I would call significant resistance and then let them rest.

 

00;26;31;29 – 00;26;33;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

Him.

 

00;26;33;11 – 00;26;58;14

Richard Bliss Brooke

And let him rest would just be me telling them, okay, I hear you. I get it. Could I ask you to just sit with it for a couple of days and if something comes up, let’s talk about it again. So there is there’s a point to push and you have to push because if you don’t, the client is just not going to go where they need to go.

 

00;26;58;14 – 00;26;59;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

Their ego won’t let them.

 

00;26;59;23 – 00;27;01;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;27;01;02 – 00;27;10;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

The the ego I know it’s kind of a weird way to talk about it. And maybe there’s a million different ways to talk about it, but there is something wired in us.

 

00;27;10;20 – 00;27;11;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

For sure.

 

00;27;11;17 – 00;27;38;28

Richard Bliss Brooke

To not change and not be wrong about who we are, even if being right about who we are is destructive and does not lead us to where we want to go, we’re still addicted to being right about it, and we don’t let go of that easily. And so as a coach, that’s what you’re up against. And sometimes you need to push and sometimes you need to back off and save it for another day.

 

00;27;39;01 – 00;28;00;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I love that sometimes about the institute we call it love, love shove. Yeah. You got to give enough love enough love little shove sometimes. Yeah. This is great. So let’s go to I know in network marketing and this is true in the coaching industry as well. Network marketing in particular, as you mentioned, can have a really bad reputation.

 

00;28;00;14 – 00;28;19;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m noticing now that coaching has been around for long enough, and we see so many Facebook ads and so much. I wouldn’t say that coaching has like as quite the reputation, but it’s starting to get like, oh, the coaches and they charge me so much and you know, so there can be a, you know, some of that around around coaching as well.

 

00;28;19;05 – 00;28;40;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I think it’s not different for a new coach as a new network marketer, that they have fears that someone’s going to think something about them when they find out their coach sent similar fashion, they find out they’re network marketer. So how do you help someone get over the fear of being what it is they’ve chosen to be a network marketer or a coach.

 

00;28;40;08 – 00;28;42;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

How do we get past that?

 

00;28;42;23 – 00;29;09;09

Richard Bliss Brooke

Same way you get past everything. It’s it’s a story. So the process I use for changing story is first, let’s get really clear what the story is that’s holding you back all the way to having you document it, write it down, and then break it into actually the affirmation words that create that story. So you’re reverse engineering the story.

 

00;29;09;11 – 00;29;34;07

Richard Bliss Brooke

So let’s let’s figure out what are the affirmations. What are the one liners that build that story around. They’re not going to like me as a coach. They’re going to think I’m trying to whatever, okay, what are the affirmations? Let’s let’s write those down and then let’s come up with some pictures and almost a vision board and maybe like some banners.

 

00;29;34;09 – 00;29;54;08

Richard Bliss Brooke

So I’ve given this assignment to so many people. So let let’s say that what you boil it all the way down to is, nobody likes me because I’m a coach. Okay? So what I want you to do is print that out on an eight by ten piece of paper and big block letters and pin it up on your computer monitor.

 

00;29;54;08 – 00;29;58;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

And I want you to read it every day. Right. Because that’s what you’re doing.

 

00;29;58;17 – 00;29;59;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. That’s right.

 

00;29;59;14 – 00;30;25;25

Richard Bliss Brooke

That’s what your story is. The reason people don’t change their stories oftentimes is the story is insidious. It’s not out there. The way we manufacture a new vision where we got affirmations, a beautiful written vision. We got a storyboard, we got movies that are playing. We got all these touchstones in our life. I got this necklace. Every time I touch it, I follow my mom, my vision, our negative visions are they’re just.

 

00;30;25;27 – 00;30;44;26

Richard Bliss Brooke

They hide in the darkness. So really powerful exercises reverse engineer them so that you can put the floodlights on them. This is what you’re doing to yourself. It’s like if your friends talk to you the way you talk to you, would you hang out with them?

 

00;30;45;04 – 00;30;47;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, exactly. You idiot!

 

00;30;47;18 – 00;30;49;22

Richard Bliss Brooke

What’s the matter with you, you idiot?

 

00;30;49;25 – 00;30;52;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, exactly. Wow.

 

00;30;52;22 – 00;31;16;27

Richard Bliss Brooke

So that’s step one is just really annihilate the old story for how ridiculous it is. And then let’s build a new story. And the new story, you just make it up. Right? So I would just ask somebody, what would you love for people to think about you being a coach? Tell me what you would love for them to think.

 

00;31;16;27 – 00;31;27;03

Richard Bliss Brooke

Well, I would love for them to appreciate me. Okay. Now we have an affirmation. My clients, my prospects appreciate that I have the courage to coach.

 

00;31;27;07 – 00;31;28;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;31;28;15 – 00;32;03;19

Richard Bliss Brooke

There’s an affirmation. Now, here’s a listing hack. Lauren. Here’s what the biggest I. I’m so slow. I got a GPA of 1.9, and I cheated on my civics final senior year to get out of a Stan Collins civics test. I’m slow. For years. I would do this work with people, and then I would just supper. I would suffer with people’s inability to creatively.

 

00;32;03;19 – 00;32;21;25

Richard Bliss Brooke

Right. So okay, we came up with, you know, coaching. We came up with some affirmations. You got it. You got it. Okay. Go, go write 20 of those. You know, come back next week or two weeks later. How are you doing on your affirmations? Oh, I’m working on a mirror. I’m working on I’m trying. Oh my God.

 

00;32;21;27 – 00;32;40;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

And you know, I would like it, right? I’d say, Okay. I’ll see you next week. That’s great. How are you doing? I’m working on it. And then, you know, what would happen is they would just go away and new people would come and I’d go through the whole thing again for years. And then I had a breakthrough.

 

00;32;40;19 – 00;33;17;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

It might surprise you what it is, Claude. Or chat writes better affirmations and better visions than any of us in 10s. You can even have Claude or Chat access Mary Moore C’s work on vision and affirmations, your work on vision and affirmations. The Institute’s work on vision, affirmations, and write me ten beautifully written affirmations on having the courage to coach.

 

00;33;17;03 – 00;33;18;03

Richard Bliss Brooke

Boom! Done?

 

00;33;18;05 – 00;33;22;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes for free. Yes.

 

00;33;22;10 – 00;33;39;10

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now spin these into a three paragraph vision incorporating all of the senses. Give me the auditory. Give me the visual, give me the kinesthetic. Give me the emotional. It already knows all this, right? Because there’s so many of us that have been writing about it for decades. The data is there.

 

00;33;39;12 – 00;33;40;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;33;40;19 – 00;33;49;16

Richard Bliss Brooke

So what? In chat, just go to school and they write better than we write. Now, of course you can change it. You can edit it.

 

00;33;49;18 – 00;33;50;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;33;50;26 – 00;34;13;09

Richard Bliss Brooke

My clients quantum leap in their productivity because they’re using AI to do the creative writing that they never could do. And I, I didn’t get it because, I don’t know, maybe one thing I could do in school, even though I never did it, is I could.

 

00;34;13;09 – 00;34;29;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

Write, this is so important. I’m so glad you’re bringing this up, because this is we don’t talk about this a lot, but a lot of times the questions I get from our coaches going through certification is I have my first client and they won’t write their vision and should I? Sometimes coaches will leave and say, like, am I supposed to like, fire the client?

 

00;34;29;04 – 00;34;48;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

And we’re like, wait, this is not like school. It’s not like a report card. And I remember back when I was a school teacher, I got my start as a school teacher, and I taught school for eight years, and there were kids who were back in those days. I mean, it wasn’t that long ago, but it was long ago enough that we didn’t even understand dyslexia and those kind of things to the extent that we understand them now.

 

00;34;48;19 – 00;35;03;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. And I never understood. I guess I just sort of inherently or intuitively never understood why we make kids write. When they could talk it out, they could record it, they could voice to text. And so I always let my kids voice to text or do whatever the hell I’m like, I just want your ideas. I don’t care how we get to it.

 

00;35;04;00 – 00;35;17;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I’ve always felt is very much the same as the vision record. It, draw a picture. I don’t care just as long as you feel connected to it. But I love the idea of using ChatGPT or whoever else you want to use. Oh.

 

00;35;17;06 – 00;35;41;29

Richard Bliss Brooke

All of you that are listening, just try it. Just give it an assignment. Ten affirmations on anything. But remember, AI is only as good as the query, right? So if you don’t like the answer, it’s because you need a better question. So be very precise in what you’re asking it to do. And you know it’s not perfect. So you may get sometimes you may get something.

 

00;35;41;29 – 00;36;06;15

Richard Bliss Brooke

It’s not in the first person. It’s not experiential. So you know, make sure the language is always word pick word pictures that are of what you want, not what you don’t want. Write no affirmations about losing weight or quitting smoking or trying to do something right. But my experience is it’s dead solid, perfect. And I mean just bam!

 

00;36;06;15 – 00;36;14;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

10s ten ask it for 20. It’ll give you 20. Spin it into any vision you want. It’ll do it just just like that.

 

00;36;14;05 – 00;36;32;19

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that love that. We’re so blessed in the time that we live in how easily accessible information is to us. And how quickly we can actually create. Yeah. It’s funny that you say the thing about, we have all these ideas about who we are in the story we’re telling ourselves and print it out, you know, stick it on your screen.

 

00;36;32;22 – 00;36;56;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

When I first started coaching, I get my certification. And at the level of fact, I was divorced. My husband had lived a double life. So I have all this shame around. How did I not know what kind of an idiot are you? You know, this is the story I’m telling myself living in my parents basement and I was starting this coaching business and constantly I would hear this doubt, thought of who is going to want to get coached by a broke, divorced school teacher living in their parents basement?

 

00;36;56;23 – 00;37;19;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. And I remember one day, you know, I was studying with Mary by this point. So I was starting to like, you know, get it. But at one day, I heard the intuitive guidance and I heard a thought that said, well, maybe another broke divorce. School teacher, I want to get coached by you. And that was that was the little ladder of, you know, climbing myself up the scale of awareness of like, oh, yeah, okay, there’s there’s a possibility.

 

00;37;19;26 – 00;37;23;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

And then opening myself up to more. So I’d like to.

 

00;37;23;26 – 00;37;25;04

Richard Bliss Brooke

You know, speak to that answer.

 

00;37;25;04 – 00;37;28;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes, please. Do. I think,

 

00;37;28;03 – 00;37;34;24

Richard Bliss Brooke

Thinking about the coaches that are developing their businesses, this distinction might help.

 

00;37;34;27 – 00;37;37;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

Sure.

 

00;37;37;07 – 00;37;59;15

Richard Bliss Brooke

And I learned it from network marketing. But one of the places that network marketers fail immediately right out of the box is they come to the opportunity with a story. They just made it up that everyone they talked to is supposed to say yes, everyone is supposed to try the product. Everyone is supposed to love the product.

 

00;37;59;15 – 00;38;26;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

Everybody’s supposed to join their team, and it’s delusional. There’s no rationale for it. They just made it up and they probably made it up because that’s what they want. And so they bring this expectation to prospecting, if you will, where they will ask somebody, you want to look at this. And the person of course says, no. And they’re like shocked and offended.

 

00;38;26;11 – 00;38;49;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

And of course, then that spins them into a story of this isn’t going to work. Nobody wants to do this. I can’t do this. Nobody likes me. And and they’re out after talking to 4 or 5 people. And so one of the most critical things to understand, it doesn’t matter if it’s network marketing or coaching or selling a car to somebody or selling a home to somebody, this is a pretty well established piece of data.

 

00;38;49;14 – 00;39;23;02

Richard Bliss Brooke

No matter what you and I are doing, there’s only about 5% of the people out there that are our tribe, our people at this time, only about 5%. So to you, Lauren, the divorced, unemployed school teacher living in the basement, I might have added something to that, but, how many people will be coached by you? Well, my experience is about one out of 20.

 

00;39;23;05 – 00;39;40;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

And here’s why. We also think when, you know, let’s say you’re a coach and you’re going to okay, I’m going to go start my business, right. So we start to think about who we’re going to approach, who are going to call, who are going to message. And so maybe I think about you. Right. So I think, oh, I’m going to talk to Lauren.

 

00;39;40;17 – 00;40;07;13

Richard Bliss Brooke

Right. She’s she’s an entrepreneur. And you know, she’ll love my coaching. I’ll be so awesome for her. She needs my coaching. And I go through this whole rehearsal right. I’m building a vision of you being my client. And how many times do I envision you being my client? Maybe ten, maybe a hundred before I actually call you. And I say, Lauren, I’m a coach.

 

00;40;07;21 – 00;40;29;07

Richard Bliss Brooke

Would you like to be coached by me? And what we don’t realize is that until I actually called and said those words to you, you weren’t thinking anything about coaching, probably even entrepreneurial ism. You especially weren’t thinking about me.

 

00;40;29;10 – 00;40;31;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

Or what are you thinking.

 

00;40;31;15 – 00;40;32;15

Richard Bliss Brooke

About? You’re thinking.

 

00;40;32;15 – 00;40;32;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

About.

 

00;40;32;23 – 00;40;58;21

Richard Bliss Brooke

Your life, your priorities. What’s going on for you today? What I did is I just hijacked your moment with my agenda, and I have this big momentum, head of steam, this vision compounding on the you’re just going to get all swept up in my deal. And what do you say? No. And you know, the analogy I give people is it’s like we get all jacked up about what we’re doing.

 

00;40;58;21 – 00;41;19;12

Richard Bliss Brooke

And so we get in our car, we’re driving down the road at 80 miles an hour, and we see this nice family walking along the side of the road with prospects. Right. So we blow by them at 80 miles an hour and open the door and say, get in, we’re going here. And you end up knocking them in the ditch.

 

00;41;19;12 – 00;41;21;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Right? Right.

 

00;41;21;03 – 00;41;30;02

Richard Bliss Brooke

And why? Well, because maybe they’re out for a stroll. Maybe. Maybe they don’t need a ride, right? Maybe they’re not trying to get to the next town as fast as.

 

00;41;30;02 – 00;41;31;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

They can, right?

 

00;41;31;17 – 00;41;45;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

Right. They’re just not your tribe. Maybe. Maybe they are. Six months from now. So the 5% number is not only 5% of people might be open to coaching. It’s today when you ask.

 

00;41;45;11 – 00;41;46;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;41;46;14 – 00;42;00;19

Richard Bliss Brooke

So if you’re change your story and I used a crude tool to do it, that kind of works pretty good for people. How many Aces are in a deck of cards? Are you sure?

 

00;42;00;22 – 00;42;02;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m sure, I think.

 

00;42;02;29 – 00;42;08;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

Well, let’s say it’s a it’s a legitimate deck of cards and no funny business, okay? For no matter what.

 

00;42;08;23 – 00;42;10;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

You’re sure? Yes.

 

00;42;10;06 – 00;42;12;12

Richard Bliss Brooke

Would you bet your house on it?

 

00;42;12;14 – 00;42;14;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;42;14;12 – 00;42;15;21

Richard Bliss Brooke

Notice how you would?

 

00;42;15;23 – 00;42;16;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;42;16;23 – 00;42;41;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

Right. So if you had a shuffled up deck of cards, I actually use, automated digital shuffler to teach this to people where just keep clicking and it shuffles and flips a card over. If a, if dealer was shuffled up a deck of cards and we flip a car over and let’s say the ace is worth somebody saying, yeah, I’ll, I’ll sign on and be coached by you, that’s the ace we’re looking for.

 

00;42;41;01 – 00;42;42;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;42;42;17 – 00;43;07;24

Richard Bliss Brooke

Then every time you flick a flip over a card that’s not an ace, which would be somebody who said no or somebody who didn’t return your call, or somebody who said, you’re a life coach. Every time you flipped over one of those cards, should you be more depressed or more on fire?

 

00;43;07;27 – 00;43;12;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

More on fire because you’re going to get closer to the ace?

 

00;43;13;00 – 00;43;18;19

Richard Bliss Brooke

Only if you believe that there are some people out there waiting for you.

 

00;43;18;22 – 00;43;20;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes, right.

 

00;43;20;10 – 00;43;27;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now, it’s interesting that people do have trouble believing that coming off of believing everybody should do what I do.

 

00;43;27;23 – 00;43;29;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, exactly. And when they figure out that.

 

00;43;29;28 – 00;43;36;29

Richard Bliss Brooke

Doesn’t work, they go. They go to the other team, which is believing nobody wants to do what I’m doing. But the answer is about 5% are waiting.

 

00;43;37;01 – 00;43;38;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;43;38;06 – 00;43;48;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

So every time somebody blows you off or says no or doesn’t reply to your whatever you reached out with, you’re that much closer to somebody who’s ready.

 

00;43;48;19 – 00;43;49;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;43;49;26 – 00;44;16;03

Richard Bliss Brooke

And even the people who don’t reply or say no, that doesn’t mean that they won’t be ready six months from now or six years from now. So I’m one of the few people that still do network marketing after 47 years full time. And my best friends, Lauren are about 20 guys and gals. I went to high school with.

 

00;44;16;06 – 00;44;16;26

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I’ve.

 

00;44;16;26 – 00;44;20;12

Richard Bliss Brooke

Lost any friends. I’ve gained a ton of friends.

 

00;44;20;12 – 00;44;21;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;44;21;08 – 00;44;40;11

Richard Bliss Brooke

I’ve been doing this for 47 years. There is a way to do it that does not alienate people, and the way to do that is you just don’t argue with people. You know, if you say no or not now, or I’m too busy or you’re too expensive, that is your right. That is your life. It is your decision.

 

00;44;40;11 – 00;44;52;01

Richard Bliss Brooke

It’s your money. And it’s not for me to argue with you or overcome your objection and close those you. Oh, how about open people?

 

00;44;52;05 – 00;44;53;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;44;53;26 – 00;44;57;07

Richard Bliss Brooke

And you don’t do that by arguing with them or making them wrong.

 

00;44;57;14 – 00;45;13;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I love that. I love the idea of the deck of cards because a lot of times our beginning coaches are so funny. They’ll come to one of our one of our Q&A calls that we do for our certified coaches as they’re building their business, and they’ll be like, oh, it’s really going, it’s really going rough. And I’ll be like, okay, what happened?

 

00;45;13;12 – 00;45;36;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

They’re like, well, I had ten discovery calls and I enrolled two people. I’d be like, oh, here you are. You’re like in the top percentage. Like something’s going well here. And they’re like really like, yeah, that’s great. Like you’re great, you’re great. You know, like, keep it, keep it up. And it’s like, oh, they’re just shocked that, you know, that’s the that’s actually a great performance level.

 

00;45;36;11 – 00;45;53;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I love this analogy. I love the deck of cards. So I want to talk about how how I met you, even though this is really the first time we’re meeting. But I’ve been following you for years reading your books, listening to your podcasts, following you on social. And the way I got started is I had a Young Living business.

 

00;45;53;29 – 00;46;13;26

Lauren Brollier Newton

So for those of you that don’t know what young Living is, it’s essential oils and nutritional products. And and I had my own living business, and I was one of those people who was never going to buy a product. I was never going to enroll as a member. And so my Young Living, sponsor, team leader or whatever you want to call the first time I purchased from her, I was like, I don’t want to sign up.

 

00;46;13;26 – 00;46;34;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

I don’t even want an account. You’ve got to get me a bottle of oil and I’ll buy it from you. And that was I was one of those people. And then I loved the products. Whatever. So when I started, my Young Living business, I was teaching school. And I was knowing deep, deep down inside, like many of our clients will, that there was more for me.

 

00;46;34;18 – 00;46;52;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

But I was scared of that. I didn’t know what to do with it. But as I started to use the products and I saw the business opportunity, it sparked something in me like, well, maybe I could be one of those people who are teaching and speaking and walking across the stage and having an impact on the world in ways greater than I’m having teaching school.

 

00;46;52;21 – 00;47;15;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

I knew I was having, you know, some level of an impact, but it didn’t feel like deep inside, like that was going to be it for me. But I didn’t know how to put my finger on it. And and I was I had a lot of fears around that. So one of the things, as you mentioned in network marketing that I loved is I got training, I got training from you when I heard you speak, I got training from all sorts of people, Wayne Dyer and John Maxwell and all sorts of different people.

 

00;47;15;28 – 00;47;46;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

As I as I tried to build this on living business, I, got stuck at about $400 a month and I was stuck there for a long time. So I’m selling like $4,000 worth of product. I’m getting about a $400 check, and I’m getting stuck, and I’m stuck and I’m stuck. And then one month, I somehow discovered someone gave me a book and it talked about affirmations, and I started affirming things about my personal life, and I started affirming things about my professional life.

 

00;47;46;27 – 00;48;14;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

And it was that month, November 2017, that two things occurred in my life. One is I found out my husband was living a double life. The second thing that occurred is I hit a rank in young living called silver, which means I just did $10,000 in sales. And when that happened, at first I was devastated. Of course, with the marriage and everything I could, I didn’t even feel like I could celebrate the win of the business that I’d been trying to break through.

 

00;48;14;11 – 00;48;43;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

But very soon I had this awareness that this is not a coincidence, that I started affirming something different. I started telling myself a news story, and after years of being stuck at one level in my business, I transform. And after years of being with this person, I finally found out the truth and I couldn’t be a coincidence. So one of the things that I love that you do in the book, Mark two, is you talk a lot about, and this is the part I always quote all the time.

 

00;48;43;06 – 00;49;03;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

So when our coaches hear me say this part, they’re going to be like, oh, yeah, we’ve heard her say this a million times. It’s a broken record by now. But you talk about, this is the part you said goal setting only works when your goal becomes your mindset or your expectation. If all you do is think of the things you want and write them down, your monitor will be working really well, but your getter will still be asleep.

 

00;49;04;01 – 00;49;28;26

Lauren Brollier Newton

That was me. My wonder worked really well, but my getter was still asleep when I was stuck at that level. And then you say goals have to become beliefs and expectations. And then you talked about your willingness to start thinking like a successful person. So if you were going to help someone to have, a completely set of different results, how do you get it to become belief in expectation?

 

00;49;28;26 – 00;49;33;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

How do you start thinking like a successful person? Great question.

 

00;49;33;16 – 00;50;08;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

So what are the biggest distinction? Breakthroughs. Moments I had from coaches I hired. Know it’s maybe I don’t know, I might have been mid late 20s, maybe even early early 30s before I got this one. I because I read books like Think and Grow Rich a lot. And because of just the standard paradigm about motivation and, the way I storied motivation is, if you want it bad enough, you’ll be motivated to get it.

 

00;50;08;19 – 00;50;45;22

Richard Bliss Brooke

I had motivation connected with desire. If you want something bad enough, if you have a white hot button, think of where it says. If you have a white hot burning desire, then you’ll be motivated to get it. Actually not true. I hate to a Battalion hill, but maybe I am. Maybe I misunderstood your right. It’s not true. Actually, goal setting really limits and holds us back because if you think about it, goal setting is an affirmation that you don’t have something and you want it.

 

00;50;45;23 – 00;50;46;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;50;46;23 – 00;50;59;24

Richard Bliss Brooke

Which affirms that you’re stuck right where you are now. Goal setting is really important for figuring out where do you want to go? Like, you know, you can’t walk up to a ticket counter, an airport and say, I want to go.

 

00;50;59;26 – 00;51;01;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;51;01;06 – 00;51;13;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

Where do you want to go? I want to go somewhere warm. Not good enough. I’m gonna actually need GPS coordinates from you before I’m telling you a ticket. Yeah, you need it. We need a three digit code of an airport. You want to go to the.

 

00;51;13;00 – 00;51;13;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

Airport, you’re.

 

00;51;13;17 – 00;51;33;24

Richard Bliss Brooke

Not going anywhere. And this is the same with us. We have to know exactly where we want to go. Exactly. And then, of course, from that, if we put a timeline, the advantage of a timeline and goal setting is with that, you can figure out, well, what do I need to do to get there? Kind of at the time that I’d like to do it.

 

00;51;33;24 – 00;51;57;12

Richard Bliss Brooke

You know, I don’t want to be 200 years old when I get there. What kind of pace of play do I need to be at? That’s the value of goal setting, and that’s where it ends. Because once you know what you need to do every day, like your single daily action, your daily method of operation, once you know the plan and you know where you want to go, goal setting stops because all it does is affirm that you’re stuck.

 

00;51;57;14 – 00;52;26;13

Richard Bliss Brooke

You then want to convert your goals to affirmations. So instead of I want to get 20 new clients, the affirmation is I have 20 new clients. Just a simple language change, but it changes everything because to the part of us that produces miracle, this is a piece of neuroscience. Sure, you’re all familiar with it. It’s not new, but to the degree there’s clarity.

 

00;52;26;16 – 00;52;56;26

Richard Bliss Brooke

And clarity is so important a picture is worth a thousand words of clarity. Clarity makes things real to the degree there’s clarity. The part of us that produces miracle could call to subconscious mind the spirit God. Call it whatever you want. It produces miracle. That part of us cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one vividly imagine that is a piece of neuroscience fact cannot tell the difference.

 

00;52;56;28 – 00;53;15;14

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now you don’t need to go get a degree in neuroscience to understand or teach this. Here’s how you can understand and teach it. If you go to a really good movie, the Lauren. You’re married now. Yes, you go to a really scary movie. Give me an I wish did this my wife give me.

 

00;53;15;16 – 00;53;17;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

Just so I can’t.

 

00;53;17;06 – 00;53;25;16

Richard Bliss Brooke

Remember what movie you were watching. I’ll think of it. Maybe, but in a really scary movie. Lauren, do you grab his arm and squeeze it during the movie?

 

00;53;25;21 – 00;53;26;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;53;26;22 – 00;53;28;01

Richard Bliss Brooke

Why?

 

00;53;28;04 – 00;53;42;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Because I was thinking to myself. Because I need help. I’m scared of what? Something coming out. Getting me. Oh, really? Yeah.

 

00;53;42;03 – 00;53;46;06

Richard Bliss Brooke

You know, those people get paid to make you feel that way.

 

00;53;46;08 – 00;53;47;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

Right?

 

00;53;47;07 – 00;54;26;07

Richard Bliss Brooke

And, right about now, they’re having cocktails back in their trailer after. Right? You know, or they’re home with their kids after we get my million dollars. It’s just a movie. Right. Why do we get scared? Why do we cry? Why are we terrified when it’s just a movie? Because the part of us that moves, gets moved and moves other people, moves us to get an action and moves the people around us, moves the electricity around us, the electrons around us, the part of us that moves.

 

00;54;26;09 – 00;54;34;29

Richard Bliss Brooke

It can’t tell the difference between having 20 new clients. And visualizing 20 new clients. Can’t tell the difference.

 

00;54;35;00 – 00;54;35;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

00;54;35;26 – 00;54;53;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now, consciously, we can tell the difference. But and this is where people lose it, right? They do their affirmations for two or 3 or 4 days, and they pay attention to the conscious mind which says, you don’t have that. You’re not going to have that. You’re not doing what you need to do, that you don’t deserve, that nobody else has that.

 

00;54;53;00 – 00;55;15;05

Richard Bliss Brooke

You have never got that before. And so we pay attention to that instead of paying attention to the affirmation. Another piece of neuroscience is this part of us that produces miracles cannot hold two opposing thoughts at the same time. So you can’t think, I can’t and can’t and think I am at the same time.

 

00;55;15;07 – 00;55;16;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

Right?

 

00;55;16;08 – 00;55;46;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

So how do you get rid of negative self-talk is you flush it out, replace it with your vision or an affirmation if you don’t have those things written down. If you don’t have a vision that’s written, that’s a storyboard, that’s a movie. If you don’t have it memorized, if you don’t have touchstones, maybe a necklace that you wear, or a bracelet or something on your desk or something by your bed, if you don’t have something to trigger that movie, you lose the battle.

 

00;55;46;22 – 00;55;47;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;55;47;16 – 00;56;18;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

Not just mine that talks you out of it. It’s just a process of who gets paid attention to old American, folklore medicine man story, right? Where he’s telling the young stories about inside of us, there’s two wolves. There’s the evil wolf and the good wolf, and they’re always fighting. And the little boy asks the medicine man, well, medicine man, which wolf wins the fight and he says, the one you feed.

 

00;56;18;23 – 00;56;20;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;56;20;07 – 00;56;46;24

Richard Bliss Brooke

When you feed. So in order for us to transform and break out, we have to feed the good story. And that takes intention, it takes consistency, it takes going all in on it. And then you ask the last part of your question is how do you learn to believe? Here’s another piece of neuro science. Spaced repetition is how we learn to believe.

 

00;56;46;26 – 00;57;02;29

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now yes, we believe from evidence and proof. So if I’d always got 20 new clients a quarter, that’s the way it always was. And I set a goal to get 20 new clients. No problem believing it. I have all the history, right? But how do you believe it if you’ve never.

 

00;57;02;29 – 00;57;04;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Done it right?

 

00;57;04;02 – 00;57;28;16

Richard Bliss Brooke

Listen. Affirmations, just spaced repetition over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Pour in the abundant, clean new vision of 20 new clients and consciously you will always know this is B.S.. But if you feed this, it doesn’t know the difference.

 

00;57;28;18 – 00;57;29;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;57;29;19 – 00;57;40;17

Richard Bliss Brooke

And it grows into leaning in first. And you know, when you lean in to 20 new clients, you might get 1 or 2.

 

00;57;40;18 – 00;57;41;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;57;41;19 – 00;57;43;21

Richard Bliss Brooke

When you’re leaning out, you’re getting none.

 

00;57;43;24 – 00;57;44;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;57;44;27 – 00;58;02;05

Richard Bliss Brooke

You get 1 or 2 and you keep up the affirmations, you know, you start to open your eyes, you start to wake up a little bit and you start to engage a little bit more and now you got 3 or 4. So you’re moving from possible to probable, and now you got 3 or 4. You get to fuel all of that.

 

00;58;02;05 – 00;58;04;15

Richard Bliss Brooke

There you go. Oh wow. This might be working right.

 

00;58;04;17 – 00;58;05;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

It’s how you.

 

00;58;05;02 – 00;58;07;02

Richard Bliss Brooke

Engage in more work.

 

00;58;07;04 – 00;58;08;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s right.

 

00;58;08;11 – 00;58;19;09

Richard Bliss Brooke

Ultimately it’s it is the work that produces the result. The question is how do you put yourself in a state to do the work?

 

00;58;19;14 – 00;58;20;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

Exactly.

 

00;58;20;23 – 00;58;45;05

Richard Bliss Brooke

So if the work was I don’t know about getting 20 new coaching clients, but let’s say the work was making four new contacts a day where you ask someone to consider looking at your offer or your program. You just ask four prospects a day. How long does it take to do that?

 

00;58;45;07 – 00;58;46;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

Not very long.

 

00;58;46;09 – 00;58;58;16

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now. Fancy how you do it, but if you did it by text or something, might take 2 or 3 minutes, maybe 15 minutes. I don’t know, maybe it takes an hour. I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. What I know is if you’re motivated.

 

00;58;58;18 – 00;59;00;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

You’ll do it. Yes.

 

00;59;00;14 – 00;59;16;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

And one of the ways I hack that for people is if they’re all, I don’t know, I don’t have time. I try, but they don’t, I don’t know, I hey, what if I paid you $1,000 a day to make those four phone calls?

 

00;59;16;25 – 00;59;17;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

I do it.

 

00;59;17;23 – 00;59;31;22

Richard Bliss Brooke

But there’s a catch. If you ever miss a day, you’re fired. So for $1,000 a day, can you figure out how to do it? Can you figure out. You know, because some people. Good. I don’t know who to call.

 

00;59;31;24 – 00;59;32;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

Right.

 

00;59;32;12 – 00;59;34;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

Now to spend weeks and weeks and weeks and I.

 

00;59;34;23 – 00;59;35;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

Don’t know, I don’t know.

 

00;59;35;25 – 00;59;40;23

Richard Bliss Brooke

So, okay, for $1,000 a day, can you figure out, like, who would you call? Anybody?

 

00;59;40;25 – 00;59;43;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

00;59;44;00 – 00;59;52;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

And, you know, then if you tell them who to call, you spend too much time on that day. Well, I don’t know what to say. Like, what’s my approach? What’s my pitch? What’s my.

 

00;59;52;07 – 00;59;53;22

Lauren Brollier Newton

Say?

 

00;59;53;23 – 01;00;01;00

Richard Bliss Brooke

Well, if I’m paying you $1,000 a day, can you figure out what to say? And here’s the answer. You don’t know what you’re going to say.

 

01;00;01;02 – 01;00;01;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, but.

 

01;00;01;22 – 01;00;04;04

Richard Bliss Brooke

A thousand bucks, you’ll figure it out.

 

01;00;04;04 – 01;00;06;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

Like that. Oh, yeah.

 

01;00;06;14 – 01;00;35;21

Richard Bliss Brooke

And then the last thing people you know, Barry Zoom is oh one. If people say no and then they don’t like me. And hey, for $1,000 a day, do you care? I don’t anymore. So the problem is not who to talk to, what to say, and your fragile psychology. If they say no, the problem is you’re not motivated because you don’t believe that 20 new clients a month or a quarter is worth $30,000 a month.

 

01;00;35;23 – 01;00;38;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. You know, but with it.

 

01;00;38;09 – 01;00;40;26

Richard Bliss Brooke

So work on the belief.

 

01;00;40;29 – 01;00;41;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yes.

 

01;00;41;09 – 01;00;47;16

Richard Bliss Brooke

And you’ll get an action. It’s never the action. The action is always easy. Anybody can do it.

 

01;00;47;18 – 01;00;47;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah.

 

01;00;47;25 – 01;01;03;10

Richard Bliss Brooke

They’re not motivated. Master. A belief in the inevitability of your goals. That’s a vision. And that produces the motivation to do the action. And you do the action every day. And it’s inevitable.

 

01;01;03;12 – 01;01;21;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

So brilliant. This is a masterclass. I hope all of you who are listening put this on repeat. I was going to say speed dial, but you know, however podcasts work these days, so I have two more questions for you that I’d like to ask before we end one is this personally selfish question that I want to ask? And the second is the question I ask everyone who comes on the show.

 

01;01;21;17 – 01;01;37;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

The personally selfish question is, I’d love to know what your favorite essential oils. And again, living essential oil. Valor. Good one, great one. I am a utility oil person, so my favorite is Hila. Chrism.

 

01;01;37;03 – 01;01;37;15

Richard Bliss Brooke

That’s a good.

 

01;01;37;15 – 01;01;56;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

One. I do it, I use it for everything. All right. Good. Here. My question that I ask everybody who comes on this show is if you had to build a coaching business and we can say a life coaching business, because that’s the majority of this audience. If you were going to build a life coaching business from the ground up, you can’t take your email list, you can’t take your contacts.

 

01;01;56;00 – 01;02;00;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

You’re starting from scratch. What would be the first move that you make?

 

01;02;00;28 – 01;02;04;19

Richard Bliss Brooke

Do? I already have the business.

 

01;02;04;21 – 01;02;10;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

The business is already set up. So you’ve got your got your coach certification. You’re sitting there going, well now what?

 

01;02;10;23 – 01;02;13;27

Richard Bliss Brooke

And did you say, I can’t use my contacts?

 

01;02;13;29 – 01;02;19;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

I mean you can use you can’t use the Richard Bliss Brook, you know, hundreds of thousands of people email list. Right.

 

01;02;19;03 – 01;02;43;19

Richard Bliss Brooke

But I could use I could use my, my network. Let’s say that’s not network marketing and not my coaching business. Out of my phone. Correct. Yeah. I would start in my phone. I would like, figure out what I was offering. I’d think about how do I want to speak to what I’m offering. Language is important.

 

01;02;43;22 – 01;02;44;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

01;02;44;20 – 01;02;51;20

Richard Bliss Brooke

I, I would not use the phrase life coach. Why? It’s just a little too general.

 

01;02;51;23 – 01;02;53;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

01;02;54;29 – 01;03;19;08

Richard Bliss Brooke

So I would probably play around a little bit with what do I actually want to call myself and call my coaching? You out of. You probably haven’t seen it, but, on my business card, it all it says is ontological coach. And it took me decades to find the the precise distinction for how I coach and what I coach.

 

01;03;19;08 – 01;03;26;21

Richard Bliss Brooke

People two and ontological nails it. Which is it is the state of being.

 

01;03;26;23 – 01;03;27;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

01;03;28;02 – 01;03;45;13

Richard Bliss Brooke

And so I coach people to a state of being. Everything else comes from that effortlessly. Love that once you have the right state of being. So mine might be ontological coach. It’s it’s kind of a clickbait because people always go, what’s that?

 

01;03;45;14 – 01;03;45;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

What is that?

 

01;03;45;28 – 01;04;07;01

Richard Bliss Brooke

Yeah, they don’t know what that is. Right. But whatever. So I just first figure out what am I offering? How am I offering it? No scripts, just I want to get a clear sense of it right. And then I would start at the top of my contacts, the A’s and I don’t have much time. I had to build the business.

 

01;04;07;04 – 01;04;38;01

Richard Bliss Brooke

I would ask the first person if they’re open to talking about this kind of service, this kind of support, I might ask, do you have unfulfilled goals, things you want to do, places you want to go, people you want to be, and you’re not making the progress you want to make, and you’d be open to talking to somebody that could support you in getting there rapidly.

 

01;04;38;03 – 01;04;41;06

Richard Bliss Brooke

Yes or no. So something like that.

 

01;04;41;08 – 01;04;42;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

 

01;04;42;08 – 01;05;01;13

Richard Bliss Brooke

And then how much time I had, let’s say I had an hour day, I could probably ask 20 people a day, and that’s what I would do. I would I would work through the deck of cards to find the one out of 20.

 

01;05;01;16 – 01;05;11;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

Love that, love that. Where can our audience find you and take a next step with you? If they’d love that.

 

01;05;11;09 – 01;05;35;04

Richard Bliss Brooke

I have an old antiquated website. Richard brook.com. No surprise. Or you could email me RB at Richard brook.com. Or, on social media. But I don’t really do much social media.

 

01;05;35;06 – 01;05;42;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s great. We love it. Dream come true. Interviewing you. Thanks for the information. I’d love to have you back because I have about a million other questions I’d love to ask you next.

 

01;05;42;20 – 01;05;58;22

Richard Bliss Brooke

I’d be honored. Lauren. I’ve followed Mary for these forever and forever. I’ve never worked with her, never studied under her. But, she and I have a close mutual friend, Cynthia Kersey.

 

01;05;58;23 – 01;05;59;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

Oh, yeah.

 

01;05;59;13 – 01;06;14;18

Richard Bliss Brooke

Cynthia and Bob Proctor. So I’m very honored to, get an opportunity to share to what she has created and what you’re creating in the coaching program. Happy to come back anytime.

 

01;06;14;24 – 01;06;21;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Thank you. Richard. So great. Thanks for listening, everyone. We’ll see you on the next episode.

 

01;06;21;03 – 01;06;52;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

Thanks for joining me this week on The Abundant Coach. Visit our website at Brave Thinking institute.com/coach certification, where you can dive even deeper with additional resources and exciting opportunities. Be sure to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcast so you’ll never miss an episode. And while you’re at it, if you loved the show, please rate and review to find out how to jump start your abundant coaching career and more about my journey to seven figure coach, check out our free.

 

01;06;52;09 – 01;06;59;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

Meant to Be a Life Coach quiz available at bty.com/coach quiz. I’ll see you in the next episode.