00;00;03;23 – 00;00;31;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

Welcome to the abundant coach. I’m your host, Lauren Brollier Newton. This is a weekly podcast about creating full spectrum success with a thriving coaching business, while making a profound difference in the world. Each week, you’ll discover insights, strategies, and inspiration to help you attract your ideal clients. Facilitate real transformation in their lives, and grow your coaching business while living your purpose with true freedom and fulfillment.

 

00;00;31;25 – 00;00;54;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

All right, well, welcome back to the Abundant Coach. I have got a good one for you today because I have a topic that we’ve never covered on this podcast. And in fact, we don’t cover it a ton within our coach certification. And so I’m super happy to bring it. For those of you are thinking about becoming coaches. This is going to be a really great episode today because Kyle and Ariel Trish are here and they have.

 

00;00;54;00 – 00;01;16;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m going to read the official bio here. They’re husband and wife digital marketing consultants who have built a thriving relationship and many thriving businesses over the last 11 years. After helping companies scale their teams and their revenue by tens of millions of dollars, the happy couple suddenly found themselves in a dark place a few years ago, as the everyday stresses of business began to take a toll on their relationship.

 

00;01;17;01 – 00;01;33;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

Thankfully, Kyle and Ariel chose to fight for the marriage. I love that because you know you can fight for the business, but then what do you have left at the end of the day? In doing so, they pioneered a brand new approach to doing life in business in a way that has allowed their relationship to flourish and their business to skyrocket.

 

00;01;33;03 – 00;01;52;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

Today, they are founders of a mentorship company called Couple Partners, where Kyle and Ariel equip other entrepreneurial couples with the proven strategies they need to rapidly grow businesses to seven figures or more without growing apart in the process. My heart opens so big when I hear that. Welcome to the show, Kyle and Ariel. Thank you so much for being here.

 

00;01;52;04 – 00;01;56;01

Ariel Tresch

Thank you so much for having us. We’re excited to be here and excited to see what comes out of this conversation.

 

00;01;56;01 – 00;02;09;10

Kyle Tresch

Oh yeah, because I know that anybody who’s listening to this, who is a coach or has ever had any experience working with their spouse in any capacity, be it business or otherwise. I feel like we’re going to dive into some juicy topics here. Yeah.

 

00;02;09;13 – 00;02;22;27

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. So speaking of, do you mind if I start right at the Dark Knight of the soul and talk about what you guys were going through when you had the feeling of, hey, we’re maybe growing apart a little bit here as we’re building these businesses. Would you mind sharing this with the audience?

 

00;02;23;00 – 00;02;41;19

Ariel Tresch

Yeah. So I can actually tell you, you know how most people have what they call, like, the honeymoon phase when they get married? We had the complete opposite. We had what we now call the anti honeymoon phase. So for us, this is something that we’ve now learned that a lot of entrepreneur couples go through. But you know, we’ve been together for over 12 years now.

 

00;02;41;19 – 00;03;10;09

Ariel Tresch

But prior to getting married, we came from pretty humble beginnings. We grew up in a small town in Ohio. I had my own business. I had a dog grooming salon was my first official business. Kyle was a digital marketing consultant, and I also went on to have an organic marketing coaching business later down the road. But by kind of the blessings of both of our businesses, we were able to self-fund our dream wedding, you know, move to Florida, do all these amazing things that, we thought when we got married, everything was just going to get better from there because we were both driven.

 

00;03;10;09 – 00;03;36;29

Ariel Tresch

We both had these big visions, these big dreams, but instead we had the complete opposite happen, like like I said, this is the dark night of the soul, so to speak, where after getting married, we got home, we both dove back into our businesses and we spent most of our time in separate offices, and we went into this place for really the first time in our relationship where we started to feel really more like roommates rather than that, you know, romantic, passionate couple.

 

00;03;37;01 – 00;03;54;14

Ariel Tresch

So for us, we started experiencing things like, how do you stop talking about work? How do you stop thinking about work, when you just want to be romantic and present with each other? How do you stay aligned and on the same page with not only the vision, but your different approaches to getting there? How do you give feedback to each other without one person feeling criticized?

 

00;03;54;16 – 00;04;13;27

Ariel Tresch

And just basically, how do we keep growing the business in a way that it doesn’t feel like we have to sacrifice, you know, our health, our relationship and our passions and all the different areas of life that we also cared about. So for us, as we got busier, our intimacy started to decrease. And our income, quite honestly, at that point in our businesses actually flatlined.

 

00;04;13;29 – 00;04;34;18

Kyle Tresch

Yeah. And unfortunately, we had nobody that we could turn to to really help us navigate that very, very dark time. Because business, as we all know, is complex in and of itself. But when you have business compounded with the complexity of doing business with your romantic partner, having multiple businesses in one roof, that just takes that complexity and just ten acts, is it?

 

00;04;34;24 – 00;04;54;13

Kyle Tresch

And we were like, oh my gosh, like, what do we do? Like how do we navigate this? How do we stop talking about work even though we like work? But, you know, after 12 hours a day it gets a little old, right? How do we figure out, like, how to make this work? And at the time, I thought the solution was, was to have Ariel just come alongside me in my business and be my assistant.

 

00;04;54;16 – 00;05;09;07

Kyle Tresch

I thought, like, I would hear, you know, a lot of the popular men, you know, conferences, they would say like, oh, you know, the man should be the CEO and the woman should be the assistant. And I was like, well, I don’t know if I agree with that, but let’s try it. Maybe Ariel, you should. You know, we’re helping companies grow and scale by tens of millions of dollars.

 

00;05;09;07 – 00;05;27;12

Kyle Tresch

Why don’t you just be my assistant and you can tell, Ariel is not the assistant type, right? You know, doesn’t have that personality. And that would actually just make things worse. So then we got to a point where like, oh my gosh, what do we do? Like, we obviously don’t want to sacrifice our business for our marriage, but we definitely don’t want to sacrifice our marriage for our business.

 

00;05;27;18 – 00;05;41;12

Kyle Tresch

So where do we turn from here? We’re at a fork in the road with two really bad options. But I’ll tell you what, the day that changed this for the better was a day where I just went out in a guestroom of our our house, just got on my hands and knees, had just prayed out to God. I was like, you know, God.

 

00;05;41;12 – 00;05;55;26

Kyle Tresch

Like, please. Like I don’t know which way to turn. It feels like every option is a bad option. What do we do here? And after I got done praying to God, I got on my phone and I got on social media and on social media, which isn’t always the best place to look for when you’re looking for the answer to life.

 

00;05;55;27 – 00;05;57;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m surprised. I’m like.

 

00;05;57;10 – 00;05;57;21

Ariel Tresch

Not be.

 

00;05;57;21 – 00;05;59;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

The greatest place to go.

 

00;05;59;10 – 00;06;24;09

Kyle Tresch

Exactly, exactly. But for whatever reason, this specific day, it was the answer. Because I saw a video that my wife Ariel was doing on Facebook Live, and I was reading all the comments beneath that video, and there were comments from women all over the world telling Ariel, thank you. Thank you for showing up and sharing the wisdom that you have because Ariel’s business was helping women start and grow businesses using only social media and do six figures in revenue.

 

00;06;24;16 – 00;06;44;15

Kyle Tresch

And if Ariel did not show up and use her giftedness to help in that regard, there wouldn’t be all the people out there that she’d be serving. And for whatever reason, that was the ticket that clicked in my head. Wait a second. She’s an entrepreneur. I’m an entrepreneur. She’s not meant to just be my assistant. We are both powerhouse entrepreneurs that can make a tremendous impact in the world.

 

00;06;44;22 – 00;07;01;03

Kyle Tresch

And I remember running out of the guest room and I when she was done doing the live video, I looked at her. I was like, I was like, Ariel, I am so sorry. I finally get it. We’re both entrepreneurs. And in that moment, we asked a question that changed the trajectory of our life, which was, how can we take our individual passions and point them towards a unified purpose?

 

00;07;01;05 – 00;07;18;11

Kyle Tresch

How can we create a third path where we both get to have the life that we want without sacrificing who we are in the process? Yeah, by asking that question, we just changed everything about how we approached life in business. We changed the way that we approached our relationship. We changed the way that we approach business, and not overnight.

 

00;07;18;11 – 00;07;35;28

Kyle Tresch

But slowly and surely we started recognizing, oh, shoot, wait a second, our intimacy is coming back. We’re feeling more aligned than ever before. We’re more unified, and we actually turned back into each other’s biggest fans and business where we would support one another. We were cheering each other on and we would recognize each other’s giftedness. And here’s what happened.

 

00;07;36;01 – 00;07;57;14

Kyle Tresch

Once we figured that part out, our income went from completely flatlined to skyrocketing. It was like we hit the Holy Grail because once you could figure out how to navigate the couple preneur dynamic, that a lot of times is the catalyst for growth that we all seek. And since then, you know, we started sharing this with other entrepreneur couples, and they kept repeating the same patterns too.

 

00;07;57;19 – 00;08;08;07

Kyle Tresch

And that is why today we’re so blessed to say that after many years of figuring this out the hard way, we get to train hundreds of other entrepreneur couples from all over the world on how to do the exact same thing.

 

00;08;08;08 – 00;08;24;13

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I love this. There’s so many things that I resonate with in what you’re sharing, but one of the things I think about as the founder of our institute, Mary Morrissey, she always likes to say that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask. Yeah, and it’s so powerful to hear that when you guys started collectively to ask a different question.

 

00;08;24;16 – 00;08;45;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yep, that everything changes. And it is so powerful. One of the one of the mind blowing questions this sort of off topic, but just to illustrate the point that like one of the questions Mary asked when I first started, you know, I became a coach and had my certain money mindsets and stuff. She’s like, what are and what if you could work half and make double?

 

00;08;45;04 – 00;08;46;02

Kyle Tresch

That’s a great question.

 

00;08;46;05 – 00;09;11;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

And blew my mind. I’m like oh I didn’t know I could ask that expansive of a question. It’s see how asking your different question about your life and what you wanted to do together can just change the trajectory of everything. I love that so much. So I’m sure in the beginning it was a little bit wobbly. As you were trying to figure things out, so did you have tools along the way for like when things got wobbly, how you guys brought yourself back to center?

 

00;09;11;23 – 00;09;17;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

Because now you’re taking a whole different concept and you’re creating? Or was it just that you were so in alignment with the concept? It just became.

 

00;09;17;25 – 00;09;34;08

Kyle Tresch

Easier? Yeah. You know, it’s such a good question because I’m thinking in different categories of our life. Yeah. I would say that in the beginning everything felt wonky because because we if I’m just being honest. Yeah. And the reason why is because we didn’t have a podcast we could listen to that was all about couple preneur shit.

 

00;09;34;08 – 00;09;49;00

Kyle Tresch

We didn’t have a Facebook group like the one we have today where we have over 5000 couple producers in there. You know, we didn’t have any community. And what would happen was, is we would go out to, you know, double dates with other couples and we would try to explain to them, hey, these are the situations we’re going through.

 

00;09;49;05 – 00;10;05;16

Kyle Tresch

And because that other couple, you know, they weren’t entrepreneurs, they weren’t driven, they didn’t understand what we were talking about. They would look at us like we have three heads. So I would say that for us it was just a matter of trial and error and figuring out, okay, these people say we need to test our love languages.

 

00;10;05;21 – 00;10;26;04

Kyle Tresch

Let’s try that. And then we realized, okay, some of it works and maybe some of it doesn’t. You know, we would hear people talk about like, okay, in order to maintain attraction for each other when you’re both in business, you had to polarize yourself from masculine and feminine energy. We’re like, okay, we’ll try that. And we realized, like, not not to throw away the entire philosophy.

 

00;10;26;04 – 00;10;42;18

Kyle Tresch

But we did realize that for us specifically, there were certain aspects about that philosophy that actually didn’t work. In fact, they made things worse. So for us, it was just a lot of trial and error. And just like in business, we ask ourselves, what did we do that worked? Okay, great, let’s do more of that. What did we do that didn’t work?

 

00;10;42;19 – 00;10;45;04

Kyle Tresch

Okay, let’s stop doing that because clearly it doesn’t work.

 

00;10;45;04 – 00;11;00;13

Ariel Tresch

Yeah, I would say actually to pull from that one of the tools that was the most helpful for us was trying things and then like reflecting on it and asking ourselves, what about that worked? I would say, actually, Kyle is very good at that. He would usually say like, hey, we did something and something is different, like, let’s reverse engineer it.

 

00;11;00;13 – 00;11;09;29

Ariel Tresch

What did we do differently? And like, why are we getting this result that we’re getting? Yeah, I think that’s true in life and in business it’s always what’s working. And then reverse engineering it, doing more of the good stuff.

 

00;11;10;01 – 00;11;29;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that, I love that so much. And one of the things that made me smile, I had to write it down cause I’m like, oh, this is so true. When you talked about, how when your relationship got better and you created a really flourishing relationship, how the business got better, too. I’ve had so many coaching clients over the years who come to me and they’re like, I’m really just here to focus on my business.

 

00;11;29;18 – 00;11;47;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

And I’m like, okay, cool. Knowing that that is probably like 10% of what we’re going to talk about. 90% of what we’re going to talk about is all the rest that’s out of alignment, because we can’t compartmentalize ourselves like it’s all going to bleed over. And so I as soon as you said, I was like, of course I did.

 

00;11;47;06 – 00;11;50;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

Like, of course everything got better when you’re feeling more expansive.

 

00;11;50;16 – 00;11;51;21

Kyle Tresch

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

00;11;51;23 – 00;11;58;29

Ariel Tresch

So yeah, there’s actually, a saying that it says, you don’t have business problems. You have personal problems that show up in the business.

 

00;11;59;01 – 00;12;26;07

Kyle Tresch

And we see that for our clients, every single day to such a mindblowing degree. Like because and I’m sure anybody listening can probably relate to this if if your relationship dynamic at home is a little rocky and there’s already stress, be it financial or be it, you know, any stresses, the business is happening, what can happen is that subconsciously we could project a future that says, shoot, if our business grows, that’s going to make it even harder for our relationship.

 

00;12;26;07 – 00;12;49;13

Kyle Tresch

That’s going to make it even harder for me to be present with my family. That’s going to make it even harder for me to have energy for myself. And if we get into that mindset, we project and we actually cap we cap our own potential as far as like what we can accomplish. So a lot of times what we’ll do with clients is, yes, they come to us because they want to hear, you know, how we’re able to, you know, implement marketing strategies to go to like 100 grand, 300 grand a month and then 2 million a month.

 

00;12;49;13 – 00;13;11;02

Kyle Tresch

We’ve had clients that have done these record these these revenue numbers. But a lot of times like the ticket to getting there is really taking the time to clarify how is the relationship dynamic, what identity are you bringing into that? What are the routines that allow that to stay stable? And how can we rewire the belief that tells you it is safe to expand, and you don’t have to sacrifice anything in the process?

 

00;13;11;04 – 00;13;23;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that, I love that so much. So why do you guys only work with couples, or do you still do marketing for people who maybe aren’t in a couple hood, but love your philosophy and love what you guys do?

 

00;13;23;06 – 00;13;41;21

Ariel Tresch

We have directed the majority of our attention now to a couple partners, so do it. So we do work mostly with couples in business. But I will say what we have experience like, you know, every now and then we’ll take on consulting clients that are outside of that. But we do see a lot as we do see usually where there’s one person who is the entrepreneur and they’re bringing their partner into the business, or their partner wants to start their own business.

 

00;13;41;21 – 00;13;44;27

Ariel Tresch

So we do get to, delve into that a lot as well.

 

00;13;45;00 – 00;14;03;25

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s so fun. When I, so a little bit of background here and I know for if you’re listening to this podcast for the first time, this will be good background for you, for, for other people. They’ve heard it ad nauseum. So they’re probably like, Lauren, we’ve heard this story before, but, when I the way I came here to Brave Thinking Institute and became the director of coach certification was I took all the tools that we teach here at the Institute.

 

00;14;03;25 – 00;14;27;20

Lauren Brollier Newton

I was certified here back in 2018, went out, built my own multibillion dollar coaching business. And then Marianne Matt recruited me back in. And because they wanted me to train our coaches on how did I do this? Using the tools that we have here at the Institute? When I was building my own business, my husband Cameron was a police officer, and so but he was super interested in personal development because he had read the book Rich dad, Poor Dad, nice.

 

00;14;27;26 – 00;14;46;23

Lauren Brollier Newton

So when we very first met, I was a school teacher, but I was like, dude, I’m going to build this multi-million dollar coaching business. I was like, I’ll shout it to the rooftops. And he was a police officer. But he had just started thinking from a different mindset, and he had had a friend that, sold his personal house to invest in rental properties.

 

00;14;46;26 – 00;15;07;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

And all the other cops were like, dude, this guy’s crazy. He sold his personal house to make this investment. But something at the time he was my husband, we were just dating. But something about my husband, Cameron, was like, I want to know what that guy’s doing because there’s something curious about that. So from the beginning, when Cameron and I first met, he really bought into what I was doing, and he could really see it because he’d read Rich dad, Poor Dad.

 

00;15;07;09 – 00;15;29;05

Lauren Brollier Newton

It had changed his mindset. And so Cameron and I built my my former coaching company together. Yeah. And I can tell you that, one of the things that was really challenging me for me to navigate. So I’ll get I’ll love to hear your guys’s perception on this. And I am sure my mind works fast. My mouth works fast.

 

00;15;29;05 – 00;15;46;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’m like, let’s go build this, let’s go do this. But I don’t often think about, like all that that will take on the back end or, you know, those kind of things. My husband Cameron is super methodical. Like, he can get anything out, he can fix anything. He can get into the website and, you know, tinker around.

 

00;15;46;05 – 00;16;01;26

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so the level of like, methodical that he would sometimes do, I’d be like, dude, this there has to be a faster way. Like what? Like why was taking so long? Like, let’s just go sell programs. And I’m sure I mean, he doesn’t say it out loud because he’s in some ways, like probably more heart centered than I am.

 

00;16;01;26 – 00;16;18;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

But he like, I’m sure like my ability to go so fast and then ask him to fix it was probably annoying as well. So I’m sure you encountered that a lot. So when you have, couples that are maybe so opposite like one is the speaker, the go getter, the dreamer, and the other is like, and we also have to build this on the back end.

 

00;16;18;09 – 00;16;21;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

How do you help couples navigate that.

 

00;16;21;02 – 00;16;40;20

Kyle Tresch

I love what you’re saying so much because we’ve experienced that with our relationship and we coach them constantly. And our coaching programs for entrepreneur couples, I would say the very first step is to recognize what are the core differences between you and your partner. So anybody listening to this, can you relate where maybe you or your partner are the quick sprinter?

 

00;16;40;24 – 00;16;58;00

Kyle Tresch

You know, you work really fast, you like to get things done, you like to be efficient and is your partner or you the marathon runner. And typically in a lot of couple preneur dynamics, we see a quick sprinter and a marathon runner, and they just so happen to be in a romantic relationship. And at first that can cause a lot of tension because there’s a different approach.

 

00;16;58;02 – 00;17;19;03

Kyle Tresch

But the first thing to recognize is just go back to the questions to be asked. What if that was actually a gift, that they are wired differently than you are? What if that was a gift? In fact, let’s ask another question. What if that was a part of what makes you a super power couple that gives you a competitive edge, an advantage over other people in business.

 

00;17;19;05 – 00;17;20;00

Ariel Tresch

Or in the household.

 

00;17;20;00 – 00;17;38;01

Kyle Tresch

Or in the household? If let’s just assume that could be true, how could you then leverage the fact that both of you are wired differently to the advantage of growing a business? So I give you a perfect example. Ariel and I, when we first figured this out ourselves, I’m worried a lot like you, actually. And Ariel is more of a marathon runner.

 

00;17;38;01 – 00;17;56;12

Kyle Tresch

I’m more of a quick sprinter. And what would happen earlier on in our working relationship is we would we would kind of like try to work in the same type of pace. So if I like to get done quickly, we would divide up tasks by quantity of tasks, like I would take apps, she would take half because I would assume like, okay, you work just as fast as I do.

 

00;17;56;18 – 00;18;17;08

Kyle Tresch

And unfortunately that caused a lot of tension. Even though she was, Ariel was totally able to keep up it. It didn’t feel natural for her. So what happened one time is I actually traveled over the weekend and Ariel stayed back home, and she was able to work at her own pace in the own way that she’s designed to work and that that in a pace that she likes.

 

00;18;17;10 – 00;18;32;17

Kyle Tresch

And what was crazy is I got back home, we went out to eat, was actually at Olive garden. I’ll never forget. We’re sitting there eating breadsticks, dipping the breadsticks in the marinara sauce, and I’m like getting an update on how things went when I was gone. And Ariel was like, Kyle, no offense. I got more done when you were gone.

 

00;18;32;19 – 00;18;53;28

Kyle Tresch

Then when you hear like, and I was like, at first I was a little offended, but. But then I started thinking about it. Maybe it was the breadsticks. And I started saying, wait a second, what if what if that’s actually a gift? What if we divided up tasks that way, not by just strengths and weaknesses, but by how we’re actually naturally wired to work?

 

00;18;54;05 – 00;19;14;11

Kyle Tresch

We call this now energy styles. So a lot of what we do inside of our a couple preneur programs, as we will help couple preneur ers determine what energy style each partner has. And then based on the energy style profile, you can actually divide up tasks by department using the energy style as the selection process versus just strengths, weaknesses and skill set.

 

00;19;14;13 – 00;19;25;22

Kyle Tresch

That was huge for us because then once we made that shift, it was like we unlock like ten productivity for ourselves because we were both able to recognize that our differences were a gift and we could strategically leverage that in the business.

 

00;19;25;22 – 00;19;32;03

Ariel Tresch

And we were able to own and operate in those unique energy styles without feeling like we had to conform to the other person.

 

00;19;32;03 – 00;19;35;20

Kyle Tresch

Yeah, because it’s not a problem to be solved. It’s just a dichotomy to manage.

 

00;19;35;22 – 00;19;54;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I love that. And I love that idea that you can be fully who you are and it actually supports, you know, that’s one of the things I realized over time is Cameron used to edit. He’s he added to this podcast, by the way. So I pulled over here because he will sit at a computer until the sound is perfect and you don’t hear the sniffles and the breaths and the this and I, I came to a point one time I’ll never forget.

 

00;19;54;24 – 00;20;21;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

I thought he was taking really long to edit like one of these meditations that I had created, and I had this like come to Jesus moment where I was like, he is actually willing to listen to my voice all day long and edit it to the point where he feels like it’s something that can go to the world in a way that the clients will love it, that I will love it, and I would rather die a slow death than actually edit an audio for that kind of thing.

 

00;20;21;08 – 00;20;41;12

Lauren Brollier Newton

So then I just had like this overwhelming gratitude that like, he’s willing to do something I would never want to do. And he cares about this business and me and our clients enough to do it perfectly. Absolutely. And that really started to, you know, help, help me understand, like, oh, this is a great asset. It’s not a deficit for either of us that we work differently.

 

00;20;41;12 – 00;21;02;11

Lauren Brollier Newton

But I love your guys’s take I love the idea of the the energy levels and like letting yourself work in flow rather than against sort of what’s natural to you. Just so powerful. You guys. Okay, so many of our coaches or listeners aren’t necessarily entrepreneurial couples, but if you’re listening to this, you bet one of them is an entrepreneur.

 

00;21;02;17 – 00;21;24;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. So one of the questions we get a lot for our coaches, either going through certification or they’re in their business after support is what do you do when you’re an entrepreneur? You want to do this business and your spouse just does not get it or doesn’t support it, especially with coaches and life coaches in particular. They’re like speaking a whole nother language now, and the spouse is like, are you in a cult?

 

00;21;24;21 – 00;21;37;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

Like what happened? So, help, help our listeners know, how do you navigate a spouse that either doesn’t get you being an entrepreneur or doesn’t get your niche?

 

00;21;37;06 – 00;21;52;02

Ariel Tresch

The first thing that I would say is that, just kind of a little bit of a mindset shift, which a lot, a lot of this comes down to quite honestly, but a lot of it is just recognizing that just because your partner doesn’t get it doesn’t make your dream less worthy. So that would be the first thing, because I think a lot of the times, especially because they’re a partner, right?

 

00;21;52;02 – 00;22;07;21

Ariel Tresch

They’re the person that we share a life with. And we feel like they need to have buy in on what it is that we’re doing. And just because they don’t understand it doesn’t mean that they don’t necessarily support it. They probably support the outcome that you’re aiming for, which is maybe financial freedom. Maybe it’s joy, maybe it’s passion.

 

00;22;07;21 – 00;22;32;05

Ariel Tresch

They’re probably supporting those things. They may just not understand the exact route that you’ve chosen to get there. And that doesn’t mean that the direction you’re headed is necessarily wrong. And it also doesn’t mean that your partner is wrong. It’s not you versus them. It’s simply just recognizing that just because they don’t get it, there’s probably things that they do to that you don’t fully understand, but you still love them and you still support them and want them to have the joy that it may bring them.

 

00;22;32;07 – 00;23;07;28

Kyle Tresch

I love that, and with that foundation laid. Yeah, it’s also, you know, it might be worth trying going to that partner who isn’t as entrepreneurial and asking for support, or at least an attempt to understand what it is that you’re going through. Now, now, the reason why I say that is because just to to add on to Ariel’s point, a lot of times the non entrepreneurial spouse probably still would love the idea of financial freedom, would probably still love the idea of you fulfilling some a purpose in your life or something that feels very, very intrinsically valuable for you.

 

00;23;07;28 – 00;23;34;18

Kyle Tresch

They would probably love to see you wake up every single day on fire and excited to change the lives of other people, which inadvertently also changes the lives of your family. They probably want that they are just in a system, you know, a working environment that doesn’t necessarily support that language. So if you could request support from a loving place and also ask them, hey, what would you need to know about this in order to to, you know, feel a little bit more on board?

 

00;23;34;20 – 00;23;53;23

Kyle Tresch

That question that you ask could open up an opportunity. Maybe they might say something like, well, you know, I just I just don’t understand how this life coaching situation is going to work. How are we going to make money from it? Is this just one of those two things? Is this a call? And then you have the opportunity to just lovingly say, hey, no, I appreciate that you have that question.

 

00;23;53;23 – 00;24;21;01

Kyle Tresch

I appreciate that concern. But actually, no, in fact, like here, I can show you some examples of other people who have done the certification who have gotten a lot of success. And it could be possible for the for us, because if it’s possible for one person, it’s possible for anybody. So, I think that if you listen to what Ariel said and you listen to what I’m saying, there’s a mental approach and a practical approach, both of which looks at your partner still as an ally and somebody that you could just bridge the gap with in terms of their understanding.

 

00;24;21;01 – 00;24;22;01

Kyle Tresch

Yeah.

 

00;24;22;03 – 00;24;44;02

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love the approach you both brought because it’s not like, what’s the word? Confrontational. It’s more curiosity. It’s more like, Kayla, just talk about where you’re coming from. Talk about where I’m coming from. I think for some reason up until now, that can be so hard for couples. Yeah, yeah, is to really come from that space of curiosity as opposed to like, wanting to defend our own point or.

 

00;24;44;05 – 00;25;02;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. Do you have any so like, because what I’m hearing you say is we’re not trying to, like, convince the spouse that we are right or whatever. It’s it’s more conversational. As far do you have, like, tried and true conversation tips that can really help couples get to know each other and get to see each other’s viewpoints?

 

00;25;02;10 – 00;25;07;14

Kyle Tresch

We have, quite a few different conversation frameworks. Absolutely. Do you want to start.

 

00;25;07;16 – 00;25;27;08

Ariel Tresch

So there’s kind of a there’s kind of two different ways I can take this. One is how to get to know each other and like get to know each other’s dreams and goals and vision. So that’s one way. The other way is maybe and maybe I’ll start with this one is, how to disagree with each other. And I say that because if we’re talking about maybe if your partner doesn’t understand you or whatever, again, you don’t always have to agree on everything.

 

00;25;27;11 – 00;25;45;05

Ariel Tresch

It just means that you respect your partner’s opinion and you respect them as a whole human, and you can actually have a healthy relationship without actually agreeing. So, one of the frameworks that we use when you disagree with each other, is to first defuze your own defensiveness. So if you have a viewpoint, your partner has a viewpoint.

 

00;25;45;05 – 00;26;05;25

Ariel Tresch

It’s very natural for us to want to defend, like you said, our viewpoint. But you have to kind of defuze that. And typically how you do that is just having the awareness that, you know, you’re starting to feel that that that urge in your stomach, you’re starting to feel that defensive kind of build up physically. And if you can notice that, that’s when you can go, okay, my partner’s, you know, my ally, we’re on the same team as a mantra.

 

00;26;05;25 – 00;26;17;01

Ariel Tresch

We like to say like, hey, we’re on the same team. I don’t need to defend. We’re going to like, we both want the same outcome, which is to solve this problem. Right? So therefore we can defuze our defensiveness a little bit. It takes some awareness. Yeah.

 

00;26;17;01 – 00;26;37;12

Kyle Tresch

There’s actually five steps to going from disagreeing with a couple as a couple to making a decision. And that is step one, which is to diffuse our defensiveness. And a lot of times, the key to this, if you ever find yourself feeling like you need to fight and defend yourself, just remember that if your partner disagrees with your ideas, it does not reflect anything about your identity.

 

00;26;37;15 – 00;26;46;19

Kyle Tresch

Your ideas are not your identity. And usually we’re defending it because we are tied so closely to the idea. They just probably don’t understand. So that’s number one is to defuze the defensiveness. That’s step number two.

 

00;26;46;19 – 00;27;08;24

Ariel Tresch

Yeah. And then after that, then you want to define your partner’s perspective. So once you’ve defuzed your defensiveness now what we want to do is actually hear what our partner is saying and define it back to them. Yeah. So this is where we’ll often say like, okay, what I’m hearing you say is this. And then they can either say yes or no, because sometimes what we’re hearing is not what our partner is actually trying to say to us.

 

00;27;08;24 – 00;27;20;14

Ariel Tresch

Yes. And so then they have the opportunity to share it like, hey, yes, this is what I’m saying. And this is why or no, this isn’t what I’m saying. And then they can reword it and you can try to come to a little bit more of an understanding as to what they’re actually meaning.

 

00;27;20;20 – 00;27;38;16

Kyle Tresch

Perfect example of this. One time I wanted to launch a high tech mastermind, and Ariel didn’t agree with the idea, and I was like, okay, so what I’m hearing you say is you think that this is a stupid idea. And she’s like, no, I actually think it’s a good idea. It’s the right idea, just the wrong time. And that drastically changed the conversation from there.

 

00;27;38;17 – 00;27;40;11

Kyle Tresch

Yeah, that’s a perfect example of that. Yeah.

 

00;27;40;14 – 00;27;59;21

Ariel Tresch

So then once you define your partner’s perspective, then what we do if still at that point you haven’t like figured out a solution, then you want to determine who has more relevant data. Now the reason that we share this is because there is some truth to the fact that sometimes one person knows a little bit more about the particular arena that you’re talking about than the other person.

 

00;27;59;24 – 00;28;22;16

Ariel Tresch

So to use the example that Kyle just shared on, when we were disagreeing on whether we should launch a high ticket mastermind at the time, I was like, I hey, I just think it’s the right idea, the wrong time. And so then we were like, okay, who has more data to actually make this decision? And between the two of us, Kyle had more experience with taking like larger companies and helping them, you know, go from seven figures to eight and even nine figures.

 

00;28;22;18 – 00;28;42;26

Ariel Tresch

And I had more experience with, you know, companies that were starting or at the ground, ground zero and building to six and even seven figures. So like those were kind of our different contexts that we came from. And because at the stage of business that we were at at that time, we were under, you know, the seven figure mark, we determined that I had more experience in that particular arena of business.

 

00;28;42;26 – 00;28;48;08

Ariel Tresch

So I had more relevant data. No offense. No, it’s right. Every time I tell this, I’m always like, it was, I was right.

 

00;28;48;11 – 00;28;51;08

Kyle Tresch

I’m just kidding. I mean, she was the she was.

 

00;28;51;10 – 00;29;12;10

Ariel Tresch

But we determined that I had more relevant data. Yeah. So for us, that kind of got us pretty close to a solution. But then once we, after that, there was like one more step. We were like, okay, just to make sure step number four is to discuss with a third party. So a third party is somebody who is unbiased, who can then look at the situation from an unbiased perspective and help you come to a decision.

 

00;29;12;13 – 00;29;29;15

Ariel Tresch

For us, we have a coach and that person, we actually his name was Ty and we called him our tie breaker. So that was what we would do. So we had a third party that would help, pour into these different decisions. I don’t know, very last step of this is just to decide specifically to decide to move forward.

 

00;29;29;17 – 00;29;46;01

Ariel Tresch

And this sounds silly, but the reason why we say this is because, when when you’re coming to a decision, especially as a couple, what a lot of people will do is they will make a decision. But then if the decision doesn’t go the way that they planned, they’ll blame their partner or their hold at each other. They’ll hold it over each other’s heads.

 

00;29;46;03 – 00;29;51;19

Ariel Tresch

So when we say this last step is to decide, the word decide, you may have to define this.

 

00;29;51;19 – 00;30;10;00

Kyle Tresch

Well, it’s interesting if you look at the etymology of the word decide day, the prefix means to cut and then side comes from like or I’m sorry day means of or from side means to cut. Yeah, that’s what decide means. So what you’re actually doing when you’re making a decision is you are cutting yourself off from any other options.

 

00;30;10;05 – 00;30;26;12

Kyle Tresch

And with couple preneur specifically, when you come to the point of making a decision, you both are saying, okay, you know what? Based on the data we have, based on the experience we have, we’re going to decide to move forward. And after you make that decision, you also are deciding that you’re not going to hold it over each other’s heads.

 

00;30;26;12 – 00;30;34;25

Kyle Tresch

If for some reason it doesn’t work out once work out, you’re not going to come back and be like, hey, I told you I was right. You should just listen to me all the time. That’s the decision that we’re making.

 

00;30;34;27 – 00;30;43;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s so important. I love that I’m smiling because what you just did by breaking down the word decide is something we actually train our coaches to do with their clients. So I was.

 

00;30;43;03 – 00;30;43;18

Kyle Tresch

Perfect.

 

00;30;43;25 – 00;30;45;15

Lauren Brollier Newton

So much synchronicity. I love Let’s.

 

00;30;45;15 – 00;30;46;24

Kyle Tresch

Go. I love it.

 

00;30;46;27 – 00;31;03;19

Lauren Brollier Newton

Because what often happens with our, with our coaches is they hear from us all the time, like this is the recommendation. And then when they hear it from a second party, saying it in a different way, because you guys are saying it and describing it as a different way, it helps them understand it deeper and be like, yeah, I can grok that.

 

00;31;03;19 – 00;31;25;29

Lauren Brollier Newton

Or like, no, that doesn’t resonate. I love the five step format that’s so powerful. When you said diffuse your own defensiveness, I was like, that’s brilliant. You guys should trademark it if you haven’t already. It’s okay. So tell me a little bit about if you’re willing. Sometimes on a different way, like we do have some, couples that are supporting each other in their businesses.

 

00;31;25;29 – 00;31;43;26

Lauren Brollier Newton

I here at the Institute oftentimes will have, a partner that’s not an entrepreneur, but they’re fully supporting the spouse and building their coaching business. And one of the questions we get asked most often is when I’m creating a vision for the life, I would love for the business that I would love do my partner and I write down the same vision.

 

00;31;43;26 – 00;31;55;00

Lauren Brollier Newton

Do we have separate visions? Do we? How do we get in alignment? Is it okay to want different things? Because ultimately that’s what our soul is calling for. So I’d love to hear you guys, talk a little bit about that.

 

00;31;55;02 – 00;32;00;12

Kyle Tresch

Yes. This was one of the biggest challenges we actually encountered earlier on in our couple partnership journey.

 

00;32;00;12 – 00;32;01;28

Ariel Tresch

So we both had different visions.

 

00;32;01;28 – 00;32;25;23

Kyle Tresch

We had very strong, different visions, and we had to find a way to maintain that, the unique calling on our hearts while simultaneously unifying a vision that we both are aiming towards. That’s why that question changed our life when we said, how can we essentially take our individual passions and point them towards a unified purpose and unified? By the way, it’s different than uniformity.

 

00;32;25;25 – 00;32;53;14

Kyle Tresch

Uniformity is I’m going to become whatever I need to become in order to compromise my my mission in order to just serve this person. And I think that’s probably a little bit toxic. And we didn’t want to do that because we both were very, very, convinced that we were gifted and designed for a specific purpose. But one of the biggest shifts for us was recognizing that, yes, we both have individual purposes, but we also believe that there’s a purpose for our marriage as well.

 

00;32;53;17 – 00;33;09;19

Kyle Tresch

And that purpose for our marriage as well is the umbrella under which both of our individual purposes lie. So, so practically what this looks like. I remember being on a call with a coach, which is one of the reasons why we’re so, so adamant about every single person I think needs to have a coach.

 

00;33;09;22 – 00;33;11;26

Ariel Tresch

And coaching is just so life transformative.

 

00;33;11;26 – 00;33;36;26

Kyle Tresch

Says is is because this coach pointed out why, like some of the dangers of having visions that conflict with each other because if you have individual visions that don’t conflict, that’s totally okay. But you might find yourself with with end goals and envisions that do conflict. And that is something that we need to address. So for example, I remember telling this coach, I wanted to, you know, just tour as a as a rock star drummer because that’s my background.

 

00;33;36;26 – 00;33;53;19

Kyle Tresch

I toured the country. I wanted to go travel all the time. And Ariel’s vision was, we want to build a big business big enough, so that way we can have a nice house in Florida and we can stay home all the time. And I remember the coach asked me like, hey, if if both of you were successful, what would happen to your relationship?

 

00;33;53;21 – 00;34;09;16

Kyle Tresch

And I started asking myself it. I started looking at it and I was like, oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. Vision a travel all the time. Vision be stay home all the time. Probably would create a little bit of disagreement, conflict. So once we had that realization, Ariel and I went on what we call a vision date.

 

00;34;09;18 – 00;34;28;17

Kyle Tresch

And this is something that everybody listening can do with their spouse, whether you’re working together or not. A vision date basically looks like going to someplace that you want to go to, where you feel inspired and asking this question, how can we both get what we both want out of life at that? And when Ariel and I did this, we grabbed some Chipotle.

 

00;34;28;22 – 00;34;30;26

Kyle Tresch

We got some chips and walk. We went to the beach.

 

00;34;30;27 – 00;34;32;19

Ariel Tresch

Food is always involved for something has.

 

00;34;32;19 – 00;34;50;24

Kyle Tresch

To be right. And we asked ourselves that question how do we both get what we both want? And then since that, we had a very, very powerful conversation that all of a sudden clarified, we can grow a business that allows me, when I want to, to have the freedom to do things and allows Ariel to, when she wants to, to have the freedom to do things.

 

00;34;50;29 – 00;35;11;10

Kyle Tresch

And we are both on board with it. And what happens is, is once we clarified that vision we got, we left that beach feeling like all this weight was lifted because every single day we knew what we were aiming for and we were both excited about it. And more importantly, we knew that the success of our business would not come at the sacrifice of our relationship.

 

00;35;11;13 – 00;35;24;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

So important, so good. So one of the questions we get a lot. So going on that same thing, sometimes our coaches all have a thing with a spouse and she’ll they’ll be like, I want to live in like let’s say Paris.

 

00;35;24;05 – 00;35;24;20

Kyle Tresch

Yeah, yeah.

 

00;35;24;27 – 00;35;45;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

And my spouse does not want that. Yeah. And I feel like I’m losing a part of myself by not having this dream. And yet I want my relationship to work. So if you could get down a little bit more into the nitty gritty of in that situation where the person is like, I want to live on the river in Paris, and the spouse is like, I want to live in Kentucky.

 

00;35;46;01 – 00;35;50;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

You know, how do you start to, like, unravel some of that?

 

00;35;50;12 – 00;36;10;04

Ariel Tresch

Yeah, yeah. So, so first, I would say practically what we do is we will always identify like, what are what are the individual visions that we each have. And so like for Kyle and I, when we’re planning this and we’re looking at our unified vision, we will start with identifying our own individual visions and then looking at where they overlap and where they potentially do conflict.

 

00;36;10;06 – 00;36;31;00

Ariel Tresch

And so in that scenario, if something does conflict, we usually like to kind of start with, we don’t love the word compromise because we feel like when you use the word compromise, there’s a connotation that somebody will have to give up something that they dearly want. Yeah. And that can lead to resentment. And so instead of compromise, we like to tap into that.

 

00;36;31;02 – 00;36;55;23

Ariel Tresch

Entrepreneurial gift that we have, which is to be extraordinarily resourceful and to think of solutions that are outside of the box of what many people would otherwise think of. And so if one person in the relationship is an entrepreneur, you probably have that ability. And even if you know you’re not an entrepreneur, just starting with that, like, hey, how do we break out of what we think the solution is and how can we instead ask the question again, how can we both get what we want?

 

00;36;55;26 – 00;36;58;28

Ariel Tresch

We can start to think of creative solutions. Outside of that.

 

00;36;58;29 – 00;37;16;19

Kyle Tresch

We actually coached a client that was in the exact same scenario that you just mentioned. It wasn’t Paris, but this client, specifically the the wife wanted to go to Texas and the husband wanted to stay living in California. So we literally walked through this discussion. And once we we first start with just challenging the assumption that it’s not possible.

 

00;37;16;19 – 00;37;38;00

Kyle Tresch

That’s why we start here, which is, hey, if you could both get what you both want, what would that look like? But let’s say we can’t like it’s the husband and wife are still completely at odds. They’re still like, no, I want to live here. I want to live here. Then we ask the question, okay, if if compromise is is part of the equation, if we have to inject a little bit of it, who values this decision more.

 

00;37;38;03 – 00;37;53;15

Kyle Tresch

Yeah. And and this is what it looks like practically before we move to Florida here, which is where we live now from Ohio. At the time, I remember telling Ariel, hey, I want to live in a warmer climate. I don’t know if it’s Florida. You always hear this Florida man stories. It’s a little weird. I don’t know if we want to do that.

 

00;37;53;15 – 00;38;13;03

Kyle Tresch

Maybe it’s like Tennessee or something like that. And that area was like, I also want to live in a warmer climate, but I really want to live next to the ocean, because when Ariel sees the ocean, she becomes Moana. It calls to her, you know? So when we looked at that and we we it sounds kind of crazy when we actually measure the weight of who feels more passionate about this decision.

 

00;38;13;03 – 00;38;28;13

Kyle Tresch

We then use the difference in who felt more passionate about the decision to then choose. So for me, I just wanted to be in a warmer climate and Ariel really wanted to be in Florida. I’m like, okay, clearly she has more passion or more value. We’re tied to this, so we’re going to make that decision, and we ended up being happy as a result.

 

00;38;28;14 – 00;38;48;16

Ariel Tresch

Traditionally, what we find is if if both partners want something vastly different, it’s questioning why do we actually want those things? And figuring out who actually holds a little bit more weight internally to it versus sometimes like usually when we see this with couples, one person in the relationship just wants what they want because it’s always what they wanted, or because it was passed down to them through somebody else.

 

00;38;48;19 – 00;39;07;15

Ariel Tresch

And so when you actually can question, like, who really holds more weight in this decision in terms of like where it would bring them the most joy or the most pain sometimes. Usually there’s one person that then when the other person sees like, okay, they they actually have a lot of care about this specific decision. It makes it much easier for you to come to a solution together.

 

00;39;07;17 – 00;39;22;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

That’s so great. That’s so heart opening. It’s so great because I think about my husband Cameron and I decided to move to Wyoming. No, I it was like, why? Where like where? Because we we both grew up in California. Like right in the big city there. Like, why would you want to live there? We totally both felt expansive about that.

 

00;39;22;18 – 00;39;36;03

Lauren Brollier Newton

But I’m just thinking to myself, as I’m hearing you, if Cameron wanted to move anywhere else in the world, I would do it because I’m like, I love it here. Like, I’m. I love the mountains. I love everything. But, like, if it was really important to him, I probably would have, like a lower stake in where we live.

 

00;39;36;03 – 00;39;56;14

Lauren Brollier Newton

So like, that’s super helpful to be like, who actually has more invested in this, who’s like, yeah, like that’s just so powerful, so good. So I’d love to talk a little bit about so we have a lot of coaches who are building their business for the first time, and their spouse may or may not be in yet, but we’ve given lots of great tips.

 

00;39;56;16 – 00;40;22;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

So, I was listening to one of your podcast episodes and you said something that blew my mind. And the reason it blew my mind is because a lot of times, especially up and coming coaches, but even to the coaches that we have that generate six, seven figures, I get really emotional about when things don’t go right. Like I had a webinar and I was expecting 5000 people and we had a 10% show up rate, and I’m super bummed to the new coach who’s like, I had my first workshop.

 

00;40;22;26 – 00;40;35;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

Nobody showed up and feeling really emotional about that. So I was listening to a podcast episode you guys did and you said, use data points to eliminate trigger points. I’d love to hear more about that.

 

00;40;35;23 – 00;41;00;15

Kyle Tresch

Absolutely. That phrase, right there is a phrase that we coined after going through that same type of emotional rollercoaster ourselves, where we would do things and it wouldn’t work out the way we wanted, then we would get really upset. And, you know, I’ll tell you the first time we figured this out or one of the, one of the biggest times was, we had this huge challenge that, you know, was successful up to that point to sell into a coaching business.

 

00;41;00;22 – 00;41;19;11

Kyle Tresch

And then for whatever reason, it didn’t work. Quote unquote, quote unquote didn’t work. And but when we say didn’t work, I mean, you know, we we about broke even. So we didn’t make a lot of money off of it. And, it sent us into an emotional tailspin where we would, you know, we were like, okay, let’s pivot the offer, let’s pivot the marketing, let’s pivot, and let’s change this.

 

00;41;19;11 – 00;41;41;24

Kyle Tresch

We moved in a bunch of different directions and the different directions worked, but they didn’t work as well as the past challenges. So eventually we took our mentor’s advice and we we did a debrief where we looked at all the data. And what was so crazy is is when we looked at the data and actually like, face the numbers, we recognize a humongous hole in the campaign that we did.

 

00;41;41;26 – 00;41;57;24

Kyle Tresch

And and we’re like, wait a second. If we would have just changed that one thing, we would have had a drastically different result for this challenge. So what we did is we changed that one thing. We held another challenge, and then it blew it out of the water like we made a ton of money off of it. That never would have happened had we not looked at the data.

 

00;41;57;24 – 00;42;05;27

Kyle Tresch

And also we wasted so many months not looking at the data immediately versus just looking at the data, making the decisions accordingly.

 

00;42;05;27 – 00;42;10;17

Ariel Tresch

Yeah, and thinking we did something wrong. It was us. It was the strategy. We panic pivoted.

 

00;42;10;25 – 00;42;30;17

Kyle Tresch

So many offer. It’s the economy. It’s politics. It’s the president. It’s it’s any it’s everything else out there other than the reality of all business, is that business is pretty, pretty mechanical and pretty easy to understand if you just look at it from input output data in data out. So this then. Sorry about that. I hit the microphone.

 

00;42;30;20 – 00;42;48;24

Kyle Tresch

I get really passionate about this subject. This that became this, that became kind of something that we bring into every client conversation that we have. Because I can’t tell you how many times clients will come to us. And it makes total sense. They will, you know, they’ll spend some money on Facebook ads. They’ll be like, hey, I’m spending money on Facebook ads, and it’s not working.

 

00;42;48;27 – 00;43;05;08

Kyle Tresch

We’re like, okay, cool, like I hear you, let’s, let’s look at the data. And if they even have the data, they’ll then pull it up and then we’ll look at it. I’m like, okay, so you’re spending, you know, $600 and you’re making $1,500 in return. So you’re more than doubling your money. Like, are you saying that that’s not working?

 

00;43;05;10 – 00;43;26;13

Kyle Tresch

And they’re like, oh, I guess I didn’t think of it that way. And all of a sudden it’s that emotional like stress. And it completely leaves the room and just it just said, normalize this for anybody that’s listening. And you’re like, okay, I’ve done that. This happens at every stage of business. So the podcast episode specifically that you’re talking about where we helped the client do $2 million in one month before we helped them do $2 million in one month.

 

00;43;26;15 – 00;43;43;21

Kyle Tresch

We I came in to consult with this company, and the whole marketing team was freaking out, like my very first call with them. Everybody was looking at each other going like, oh my gosh, like, we need to change the webinar. We need to change the ads. Everything’s just like crazy. We what do we do? And I come in and I’m like, hey guys, let’s let’s take a be let’s look at the data and let’s just use it.

 

00;43;43;22 – 00;44;04;16

Kyle Tresch

Let the data decide what we should do next. And when we looked at the data we found like, okay, historically year over year there is a 30% drop between the beginning of the year and this time right now. And based on the data you’re actually following perfectly with every single year trend showed up to this point. So could it be possible that you’re actually not doing something wrong?

 

00;44;04;16 – 00;44;19;17

Kyle Tresch

Could it be possible that there is just a little bit of seasonality for this specific niche? And if we know that, that means we’re still going to make improvements, but at least you could take a deep breath and realize that you don’t have to get emotionally triggered because you can use the actual data to eliminate the emotional trigger.

 

00;44;19;25 – 00;44;37;01

Kyle Tresch

So then what we did is we we use the data. We made some adjustments to the webinar campaign and knowing that there was a little bit of release, there was no more emotion in the in the equation. We were able to just make logical decisions to right the ship. And then just a couple months later, that company did over $2 million in one month.

 

00;44;37;03 – 00;44;42;09

Kyle Tresch

And then that happened. If we didn’t let the data points eliminate the trigger points.

 

00;44;42;12 – 00;45;02;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

It’s so crazy, actually, sometimes to think about how much we don’t look at the data. It’s just bringing me back to. So the executive director of this institute is Matt Boggs, and he’s a loving relationship coach on YouTube and also the executive director of this institute. And, when I was a coach and so I was taking programs, one day I get on a call and I’m like, Matt, this is not working.

 

00;45;02;07 – 00;45;16;22

Lauren Brollier Newton

Bla like everything you guys are talking about this, that. And he asked me a very simple question. For lack of a better term, it shut me up and I was like, oh. And the question was, I’m like, it’s not work. It’s not working. The question you asked me was, how do you know?

 

00;45;16;24 – 00;45;17;17

Kyle Tresch

Yes.

 

00;45;17;19 – 00;45;24;08

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. I was like, oh, I, I because I feel emotional about it, you know, like because.

 

00;45;24;12 – 00;45;25;25

Ariel Tresch

It’s real hard.

 

00;45;25;27 – 00;45;37;17

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah. You’re this certain way. But then when he asked me, okay, he’s like, this is the data, I want you to go look for it. I looked at it and I was like, oh, that’s actually working pretty well. So it’s just so crazy how we can get so emotional about it.

 

00;45;37;23 – 00;46;01;10

Ariel Tresch

Absolutely. And I will say to, if a lot of people, I think when they hear the data, there’s a lot of people that think like, well, I’m not a data person, I’m not a numbers person. If you’re that person, I just want to share with you that it actually makes your life so much easier because no longer do you have to, like, experience something and then, waste a ton of time and energy chasing the wrong rabbit instead, or blaming yourself and feeling like you just.

 

00;46;01;11 – 00;46;18;14

Ariel Tresch

You suck. Yeah. And you can look at something and you can actually have some control over the situation. You can go, okay, this is why it didn’t work. If that’s the thing, let’s fix that thing. And then nine times out of ten, your results are going to be vastly different on the other side. So it gives you that sense of confidence and control okay.

 

00;46;18;14 – 00;46;36;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

So I’m gonna ask the question. I know some of our coaches will be thinking they’ll be like, I don’t use a ton of funnels or Facebook ads or something like that. And so how do how do I get data to know if my stuff’s working or not, if I’m doing it in a more organic way or a more networking way, like, do I have data like that’s what that coach is going to be asking.

 

00;46;36;24 – 00;46;44;21

Lauren Brollier Newton

So share with the coaches that don’t have like maybe a funnel or something fancy on the back end. How can they? They do have data, but how do they find it.

 

00;46;44;23 – 00;47;08;21

Kyle Tresch

Yeah, yeah. Oh that’s such a great question for these these coaches typically even if it’s all organic, even if it’s network, even if it’s referral, they’re typically is a pre-purchase indicator to look for. Yes. So a pre-purchase indicator could be they jump on a call with you before they buy. Or it could be you talk to you, do a presentation in front of X amount of people.

 

00;47;08;24 – 00;47;31;29

Kyle Tresch

And then the call to action is, you know, they fill out an application. Maybe they purchase right there. In both of those scenarios, the call or the application. Those are what we would call pre-purchase indicators, if you can. If you can then measure how many of those pre-purchase indicators turn into sales, that is the bare minimum type of of data that you can look at to really indicate some adjustments that could be made.

 

00;47;32;03 – 00;47;51;23

Kyle Tresch

So for example, if right now you do five calls and you close two out of five, but you’re closing at a 40%, right? So that is still data that you could derive based on the the one step removed from the sale actually being made. So I would say that that’s probably the easiest way to start with the data conversation.

 

00;47;51;25 – 00;48;10;12

Ariel Tresch

One other thing I’ll add to that too is I used to, you know, teach organic marketing. And what we would do is determine what was the pre-purchase indicator. So it was like, you know, sales calls or applications and then go, okay, how did we get people to fill out that application? And it’s just you kind of want to work backwards from the, you know, the customer journey, so to speak, of from somebody becoming a client.

 

00;48;10;12 – 00;48;35;05

Ariel Tresch

What did they do previously and then the step before that and then the step before that. And if you do that, you can start to look at, the data, so to speak, around those things. So for example, if you use maybe social media and you lead people to, fill out an application to then get on a call with you, you can look at, okay, how do I how many people are coming, how many new followers, so to speak, or new people are coming to my social media on a daily, on a weekly basis?

 

00;48;35;08 – 00;48;45;23

Ariel Tresch

And then how can I increase that number? So now you’re starting to get a little bit of a path to how you get people to see your stuff, and then how you get them to take that action before becoming a customer. Yeah.

 

00;48;45;24 – 00;48;59;07

Kyle Tresch

How many, how many followers turn into how many DMs turn into how many applications turn into how many calls? And then if you just track the percentages all the way through, you can you can increase your sales just by choosing one of those percentages and increasing that percentage.

 

00;48;59;07 – 00;49;12;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

Yeah, I love that. So true. And for all the coaches listening, you know, if you’re if you’re the in the coaches in the position of I’ve had a workshop and nobody showed up. The fact that nobody showed up as like on the emotional level, as challenging as that can be, if you could just take a step back and be like, I have data.

 

00;49;12;28 – 00;49;15;18

Lauren Brollier Newton

The data so far is zero. It’s these. Yeah.

 

00;49;15;21 – 00;49;16;07

Ariel Tresch

And let me.

 

00;49;16;07 – 00;49;26;28

Lauren Brollier Newton

Look at the actions I took prior to the workshop to have no one. Yeah. And then is there a way I can turn up the volume to get five? Yes. There’s still data. Like it still works the same way.

 

00;49;27;05 – 00;49;28;13

Ariel Tresch

Yeah, absolutely.

 

00;49;28;16 – 00;49;46;24

Lauren Brollier Newton

So in the, because you’ve got such an organic marketing background, I know sometimes with organic people can feel like our coaches can feel like like if it doesn’t work, I just it just doesn’t work. And then there’s no way to make it work because. And you’ll hear this all the time, right? People saying because the algorithm is always changing and this.

 

00;49;46;24 – 00;49;58;04

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so there’s no way to get it. So what are your like, if you have any quick and dirty tips about like, the world of social media right now and what you’d give to the beginning. The beginning, coach or, you know, the coach that’s working their way to six figures.

 

00;49;58;07 – 00;50;23;25

Ariel Tresch

Yeah. So I would say, a couple of things. I think when it comes to social media, I and we are pretty against following the trends. In fact, we actually want to zig when everybody is zagging to a degree. Because if you think about it, when it comes to social media, if people are on social media on a regular basis, first of all, that is an amazing opportunity that you do not want to pass up because you have the opportunity in today’s day and age to pull out your phone and be in front of hundreds, thousands, even millions of your ideal clients.

 

00;50;23;25 – 00;50;43;12

Ariel Tresch

And that’s that’s an incredible opportunity that didn’t exist, you know, 20 years ago. But when when it comes to social media, if there’s so many people on it, not only do you want to stand out, but you also want to, capture attention very quickly and get people to know, like and trust you. So zig when everybody zags.

 

00;50;43;12 – 00;51;02;09

Ariel Tresch

Meaning if everybody is doing one type of content or if everybody is doing one thing, you typically want to go, okay, that works. How can I innovate on that and do something just slightly different and that’ll get you a little bit more attention. And then in your content, how can I get people to know like and trust me know is how can I get people to see my stuff?

 

00;51;02;09 – 00;51;25;14

Ariel Tresch

More like is how can I get them to like me? Which is generally, aligned with my values. You know, that’s where in your content you want to share about what it is that you value, what you care about, that they also probably care about. And then, trust is how how can you know this person? Trust that I can help them get the result that I want that typically is going to come through client testimonials, case studies, your own personal story.

 

00;51;25;14 – 00;51;41;10

Ariel Tresch

If you don’t have client testimonials yet of how you’ve gotten the transformation that you’ve gotten. And so you can look at zig when everybody else is zagging, you don’t have to follow the crowd. You can do things a little bit differently and then build that know, like and trust factor through your content. That’s, I would say a quick and dirty that can help when it comes to social media.

 

00;51;41;10 – 00;52;08;00

Kyle Tresch

And if I can just help cut through the clutter for anybody listening, we know that there’s 1001 different types of posts you can make reels, TikTok dances, all sorts of crazy things that you could consider doing. What we’ve noticed over the last decade of digital marketing is that if you had to just take all the frills away and just boil it down, it comes down to just asking one question, which is, what does my ideal client need to see in order to buy for me?

 

00;52;08;03 – 00;52;27;17

Kyle Tresch

Whatever the answer to that question is, that is the North Star that guides everything that you post. And just to give a crazy example of how fast this can work for any coach, when we were coaching a, a couple that was going into the real estate coaching space, we, we did a whole workshop where they identified, okay, my ideal client is this person and they need to see this from me.

 

00;52;27;20 – 00;52;47;09

Kyle Tresch

And what ended up happening was, is this this lady that was hearing this message, she created a post right then and there that shared her story, that shared the things that she’s gone through and shared the results on the other end, that one post she posted on Facebook, it led to some of her first high paying clients, and each client was worth about $5,000 to her.

 

00;52;47;13 – 00;52;59;14

Kyle Tresch

Just from that one post. It wasn’t all the frills, it wasn’t all the tactics. It wasn’t chasing the latest and greatest like trend and algorithm hack. No, it was just showing up for the right person and having the right message, which absolutely changes everything.

 

00;52;59;17 – 00;53;18;01

Lauren Brollier Newton

And so powerful. Okay, so I want to ask you guys the question that I ask every guest that comes on this podcast. If you were. And your answers can be different, which I know you guys know, you’re that you’re the couple for years. I don’t have to tell you that. That’s my mama energy. Sorry. I was also a school teacher, so I’m like, it’s okay to be different.

 

00;53;18;08 – 00;53;19;28

Ariel Tresch

Oh, I love it.

 

00;53;20;01 – 00;53;38;22

Lauren Brollier Newton

So, the question I ask every guest that comes on this podcast is if you were going to build a coaching business today from scratch, which means you cannot take your list, you cannot take your funnels, you cannot take your social media following, but you can take your wisdom. If you are going to build a coaching business today from scratch, what would be your first move?

 

00;53;38;25 – 00;54;01;24

Kyle Tresch

The first move. We’ve helped so many different coaching businesses start from scratch. So I would say that I’ll start with mine. And then if yours is different, let me know. Yeah, I would say the very, very, very, very, very first move is to identify the type of market that you want to serve and that ideally has money to pay you for coaching.

 

00;54;01;26 – 00;54;19;24

Kyle Tresch

That was great because everything in marketing all starts from the person that you want to serve. Now there’s other steps that once you identify that person, what to do. And then I would actually build the entire coaching company around interviewing people that fit that exact type of customer profile. Find out what it is that they would pay for.

 

00;54;20;00 – 00;54;33;14

Kyle Tresch

Create what it is that they would pay for, offer to them, and then get paid to create your coaching program knowing that people with money want to buy it. And then once you have that coaching program created, you already know it. People want to buy it. Then you go in, you market it to the masses.

 

00;54;33;16 – 00;54;35;13

Ariel Tresch

That love it. Actually, my answer.

 

00;54;35;16 – 00;54;36;21

Kyle Tresch

Is okay, perfect for a line.

 

00;54;36;21 – 00;54;51;18

Ariel Tresch

Yeah, yeah. Because then once you’ve, I was I was going to say, figure out who you want to work with and then go ask them what they want and then make what they want. So I was going to follow that too. But, specifically because those people, not only are they telling you what they want because so now it’s like it’s a proven thing.

 

00;54;51;20 – 00;54;56;06

Ariel Tresch

But in addition to that, they will oftentimes become your first customers in your first testimonial.

 

00;54;56;06 – 00;55;24;18

Kyle Tresch

Yeah. So an easy, quick step by step strategy for anybody listening is go identify five people that represent the types of customers you want to serve. Set up market research calls with them aka interviews. And you want to, on that call, ask questions to derive four core things. They all start with P. You want to know what is the problem that they’re looking to solve, what is the pay off that they expect and that they deeply desire, which basically represents the solution to that problem?

 

00;55;24;21 – 00;55;42;13

Kyle Tresch

What type of pieces of your program would they be excited about? So you can ask, like if you were to join a coaching program, like what would be involved in that coaching program to make it feel awesome to you? That’s the pieces. And then the fourth P is what type of price would you expect to pay for that exact result?

 

00;55;42;16 – 00;55;59;09

Kyle Tresch

So if you get that those four P’s from any conversation you have with four ideal customer customers of yours, then you have the data that you need to then create a beta program for that coaching offer. You can offer it to those interviews, or you can find other people to sell it to. And then there you go. You have the information required to create a coaching.

 

00;55;59;09 – 00;56;00;09

Kyle Tresch

Perfect.

 

00;56;00;12 – 00;56;09;16

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love that. And you know how honored those people would feel if you created that beta because they answered you like I’d be in that all day long. I’d be willing at that all day long.

 

00;56;09;23 – 00;56;10;24

Ariel Tresch

Absolutely.

 

00;56;10;26 – 00;56;30;06

Kyle Tresch

Yeah. That’s how we actually create a couple partners, just transparently. We were able to we did exactly that. We interviewed a bunch of entrepreneur couples. That’s what we asked. Like, hey, what would you need? What would you want? And it was so eye opening to us. And then I believe that was one of the reasons why we were able to take this business from 0 to 6 figures in four months, and then it just absolutely skyrocketed from there.

 

00;56;30;06 – 00;56;32;01

Kyle Tresch

As we’ve done this over the last few years.

 

00;56;32;04 – 00;56;36;09

Lauren Brollier Newton

It’s so powerful. Oh my gosh. Okay, so tell our audience how can they find you?

 

00;56;36;11 – 00;56;58;05

Ariel Tresch

Yeah. So I would say the first place is our Instagram. So if you go to Instagram our handle is at couple printers. It’s like couple and then per nurse. And then another place is our Facebook community. So we have a community like Kyle said earlier of over 5000 couple a couple printers at this point. So if you go to Facebook and just search for successful couples in business, our group should be the only group that should pop up.

 

00;56;58;05 – 00;57;06;14

Ariel Tresch

And, you can come join that community and be a part of other, be a part of a group of other people who are showing you what’s possible as a couple in business.

 

00;57;06;14 – 00;57;26;13

Kyle Tresch

Yeah. And if you like these types of conversations, we can keep the conversation going with our couple. Preneur show podcast. So if you want to dive deeper into social media strategies, we share those on the podcast. If you want to hear us interview other successful entrepreneur couples who are also coaches that run multi-million dollar businesses, we reverse engineer their success and we hold nothing back on that podcast.

 

00;57;26;13 – 00;57;30;00

Kyle Tresch

So you can just look up the couple Preneur show on Apple or Spotify.

 

00;57;30;03 – 00;57;45;10

Lauren Brollier Newton

I love it. Well, I will be following you on Instagram, joining your Facebook group, being listening to your podcast, because I’ve already gone down that fabulous rabbit hole. You guys will have to come back on the show again. Thank you so much for taking the time and I’ve loved getting to hear your wisdom and likewise.

 

00;57;45;10 – 00;57;49;10

Ariel Tresch

Yeah. Thank you for having us. Yeah.

 

00;57;49;13 – 00;58;26;07

Lauren Brollier Newton

Thanks for joining me this week on The Abundant Coach. Visit our website at Brave Thinking institute.com/coach certification, where you can dive even deeper with additional resources and exciting opportunities. Be sure to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcast so you’ll never miss an episode. And while you’re at it, if you loved the show, please rate and review to find out how to jump start your abundant coaching career and more about my journey to seven figure coach, check out our free Meant to Be a Life Coach quiz available at BTI dot com slash coach quiz.

 

00;58;26;10 – 00;58;28;06

Lauren Brollier Newton

I’ll see you in the next episode.