00;00;03;23 – 00;00;31;19
Lauren Brollier Newton
Welcome to the abundant coach. I’m your host, Lauren Brollier Newton. This is a weekly podcast about creating full spectrum success with a thriving coaching business, while making a profound difference in the world. Each week, you’ll discover insights, strategies, and inspiration to help you attract your ideal clients. Facilitate real transformation in their lives, and grow your coaching business while living your purpose with true freedom and fulfillment.
00;00;31;22 – 00;00;50;25
Lauren Brollier Newton
Hello and welcome to the Abundant Coach. I’m super happy to be back with you, and I have got what I believe is a great topic for you because many of us have been in the position of what we’re going to talk about today, which is four steps to take when you feel stuck. The thing about being stuck is you don’t feel like taking a step.
00;00;50;26 – 00;01;08;05
Lauren Brollier Newton
You don’t even know the step to take. So I’m going to give you a tried and true formula for how to get unstuck. Whatever you’re stuck with. So you feel stuck in a job you don’t like, something big like that, or you just feel stuck not knowing what step to take today to move the dream forward. Whatever level of stuckness you’re feeling.
00;01;08;08 – 00;01;28;26
Lauren Brollier Newton
This formula is absolutely going to support you in getting unstuck. So like always, we’re going to start with a quote. I love this quote. It makes me laugh every time I read it, because it’s a Jim Rohn quote. And Jim Rohn, had a way of just kicking your butt. And so I love that. I like, you know, sometimes we need a little spiritual ass whipping.
00;01;28;26 – 00;01;57;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
So that’s what we’re going to start with today. So Jim Rohn quote, he says, if you don’t like how things are, change it. You’re not a tree. In other words, you’re not rooted to the ground. You’re not stuck in one place. If you don’t like how things are, change it. That goes to whether you’re stuck because of the own fears in your own mind, or you’re stuck in a situation or a condition that you don’t love, whatever reason you feel stuck, you can move.
00;01;57;26 – 00;02;25;00
Lauren Brollier Newton
You’re not a tree. I just love that. So with that to frame our conversation, let me give you the steps that you can take to get unstuck. First and foremost, step number one just clean, plain and simple. Stop saying you’re stuck. Stop it. And I know that sounds so over simple, but it’s interesting how if you really notice your thought.
00;02;25;00 – 00;02;39;16
Lauren Brollier Newton
So brave thinking tool number one is notice what you’re noticing. So if you notice yourself even in your own mind, you’re not saying it out loud, but you’re just thinking the thought I’m stuck, I’m stuck. How am I going to get out of this? I don’t know what step to take. I don’t like this. I don’t know what I’m doing.
00;02;39;19 – 00;03;03;12
Lauren Brollier Newton
You’re stacking bricks on your chest. That’s. That’s what keeping thinking that thought is doing. And you don’t get to an expansive place by continuing to stack on your chest how stuck you are. Number one, if you’re saying it out loud, if you’re telling everyone I feel stuck and I don’t know what to do in this now, it’s double whammy because in your own mind, it’s, you know, your thoughts create your reality 1,000%.
00;03;03;16 – 00;03;23;29
Lauren Brollier Newton
So just thinking it is going to create that feeling of bricks stacked on your chest, not knowing what to do. Complete paralysis that fight flight freeze mode. Now say it out loud, say it out loud and it just doubles the effect of it, because now it’s held in the energy field. It’s in the mind of everybody that you said that to.
00;03;24;01 – 00;03;46;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
Maya Angelou has a great video when she did Oprah’s masterclass and she says words are important words are important. And when you say words, they get stuck in the walls, in your clothes, she says. Words are things. Words are things, she said. You must be very careful about your words. And then she goes into like name calling and things of that nature, which is irrelevant here.
00;03;46;24 – 00;04;11;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
But she says, words are things you must be careful about them. And she says, someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words. She says, I think they’re things they get on the walls, they get in your wallpaper, they get in your rugs and your street, your clothes. And finally in you. So when you keep repeating the thing that you don’t want, it’s just an amplification of that and thoughts become feelings.
00;04;11;24 – 00;04;31;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
So if I keep saying I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do. I’m not going to do. I’m actually amplifying that. It’s like I’m praying for more stuckness. So we want to be very, very clear about not saying that. A couple tools that you can use, you can say, I was feeling stuck, but now the next step is revealing itself to me.
00;04;31;15 – 00;04;57;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
You’re not lying to yourself, you’re just giving yourself an openness that the next step is revealing itself. So stop saying number one first and foremost, okay? Step two notice all the places where you aren’t stuck because just saying I am stuck. It’s like you know, the words that come after I am are the most powerful words that they are.
00;04;57;09 – 00;05;19;10
Lauren Brollier Newton
So number one, stop saying you’re stuck. Number two is notice all the places where you aren’t stuck. Because here’s the thing if you were truly stuck, if I am stuck was true, you would not have gotten out of bed. You wouldn’t have gotten up to go to the bathroom. You literally would be stuck. So the word I am stuck is actually not true.
00;05;19;10 – 00;05;39;13
Lauren Brollier Newton
And the most powerful thing we can do is put a word after I am. Because when you say I am, your subconscious mind believes. Your spirit believes you, the universe believes you, you have free will. So if you’re feeling stuck and you’ve now stopped saying that because you did step number one, the next thing is to notice all the places where you weren’t stuck.
00;05;39;16 – 00;05;53;00
Lauren Brollier Newton
You got out of bed this morning, so if I was truly stuck, I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed. I was truly stuck. I wouldn’t have gotten up to get to the bathroom. If I was truly stuck, I wouldn’t have laughed. One of my best friend told me a funny meme. You’re just noticing the places where you aren’t stuck.
00;05;53;02 – 00;06;14;02
Lauren Brollier Newton
If you went to the gym, you’re not stuck. You went to the gym. You did something that most people on this planet didn’t do today. So if you notice all the places where you aren’t stuck, it actually amplifies the feeling of momentum and movement and moving forward. That’s number two. Really identify them. When I say identify them, don’t just casually think about it.
00;06;14;04 – 00;06;28;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
You know, really just say to yourself, hey, I just drove to the grocery store. I’m back. I’m not stuck. I just went to the gym. I’m not stuck in that area of my life. Now your subconscious mind is going to want to come back and say, yeah, but you’re still stuck in your career, or you’re still stuck not knowing the steps to take in your coaching business.
00;06;28;03 – 00;06;54;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
That’s fine, that’s okay. But just show it all the places where you aren’t stuck. So that that I am stuck no longer feels true to you. That’s really important to move the energy. Because here’s the thing we’re actually one being I know we think that we can compartmentalize myself, here’s work, here’s love, here’s this. But actually, you’re one being and there’s lots of places in your beingness where you’re not stuck at all.
00;06;54;26 – 00;07;16;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
And that’s really important for the spirit in you, the nervous system in you, the subconscious in you to see that there’s actually plenty of places where you’re not at all stuck. So I love that. Let me go back to number one, which is stop saying you’re stuck. I always want to be clear. It’s like we’re not saying don’t own your feelings or don’t listen to your feelings or whatever it is, but it isn’t all of you.
00;07;16;04 – 00;07;33;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
It’s not all of you that stuck. You can see that from number two. So instead of saying if number one, you’re just going to stop saying it. But if you catch yourself saying it or you want to express it to someone or you want to journal about it, you can say, part of me feel stuck. Part of me feel stuck because not all of you does.
00;07;33;28 – 00;07;51;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
And as soon as you say part of me and you just sequester it and make it smaller, you’re going to feel relief. So number one, stop saying you’re stuck. Number two, notice all the places where you aren’t stuck. A story is coming to my mind. That’s not 100% relevant, but I’m going to tell it because I think it will matter to you.
00;07;51;23 – 00;08;10;27
Lauren Brollier Newton
So you can just see how this starts to move. Things. Several years ago, my husband and I were living in, El Granada, California, which is by Half Moon Bay, you know, south of San Francisco coastline. And I was feeling in a funk. I don’t know if I would have used the word stuck. Maybe I would have, but it was just like this funk, like a nothing.
00;08;10;27 – 00;08;33;04
Lauren Brollier Newton
Sounds good to me. No idea. No, I don’t want to do anything. Like. I just feel stuck. Part of me feels stuck. And so I remember just saying to myself, okay, not all of you are stuck. Same, same four things that I’m taking you through. Brave thinking steps to get unstuck. So stop saying you’re stuck. All right? I can stop saying that now.
00;08;33;04 – 00;08;51;14
Lauren Brollier Newton
What do I want to do? Not let me get unstuck somewhere? So I just said, is there anything in the world, anything in the world that would make me feel better right now? And in the beginning, I couldn’t come up with anything, watch a movie? No. Go over here. No. Like nothing felt good to me, but like, that’s how I felt, you know?
00;08;51;14 – 00;09;18;19
Lauren Brollier Newton
Nothing. There’s nothing. But I just opened myself. Just open me to the place of something that would feel good to me. And I don’t know why. This. I guess this is just funny, because it’s not the idea I expected, and it’s not something that I normally did. But this is what came to me. What I heard is go to the store, buy all sorts of ingredients for a charcuterie board, you know, like the salami and the olives and the this and that and make yourself a beautiful charcuterie board.
00;09;18;21 – 00;09;37;28
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’d never done that before, but that was the only thing that felt like any sort of movement. Like if I did that, I might feel a little bit happy. And I did that and I went to the store. Great store. It was called an Spangler’s market. It was like I lived in this place. It was a rural coastline in San Francisco, and there wasn’t a grocery store until you drove maybe like five miles.
00;09;37;28 – 00;10;01;19
Lauren Brollier Newton
But except for this little community grocery store, which was amazing. It was wonderful. I went there, I got all my charcuterie stuff. I made the charcuterie board. I enjoyed every moment of it. I ate it, and I felt a thousand times better. I didn’t, I didn’t solve the world’s problems. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, you know, like nothing had changed except I found a place where I wasn’t stuck, where I could do one thing that made me feel better.
00;10;01;22 – 00;10;17;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
And then that just kept amplifying. I made the board. I went to the store. It like it just amplifies when you’re willing to live into that. So stop saying you’re stuck is number one. Number two, notice all the places you aren’t stuck or find one. One little place that you can see. Oh, I’m actually not stuck there. If I really think about it.
00;10;17;25 – 00;10;43;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
All right. Now. Step three any time that we think we’re stuck, this confusion paradigm or I don’t know what to do or I feel stuck, it’s actually a symptom. Mary. Always Mary Marcy, our founder, always shares that confusion is actually a self-limiting paradigm because when you’re confused, you don’t know what to do. You don’t have to move. And so you stay really in that comfort zone of creating the same results you’ve always had.
00;10;43;10 – 00;11;01;16
Lauren Brollier Newton
That really is what confusion does. It just keeps you. It’s not that you actually don’t know what step to take. I’m going to I’m going to for those of you who are saying, you know, I really don’t know what step to take, I’m going to push back on that, because I actually think that you do know. Now, there’s several reasons why your mind would want to tell you that you don’t know.
00;11;01;19 – 00;11;19;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
One could be you don’t want to take the step that you know you have to take another could be that you’re afraid of failure. Another could be that you haven’t taken the steps to explore what it is that would get you unstuck. But I actually don’t believe that you don’t know what step to take, or that I wouldn’t know what step to take.
00;11;19;27 – 00;11;38;27
Lauren Brollier Newton
I believe that when we’re in confusion and I learned this from Mary, that is a convenient way. And I don’t mean that harshly. Like we should shame ourselves around that. It’s just it’s our it’s a convenient way for our self-limiting paradigm, our self-limiting beliefs to just make it like. All right, well, there’s nothing there’s nothing for me I’m going to give you.
00;11;38;27 – 00;12;03;15
Lauren Brollier Newton
Step three is realizing this. This is a Mary Morrissey quote right out of her playbook. She says, often when you feel stuck or you are exploring what’s next in your life, she says this. You don’t want to know what you really do know, because you don’t want to have to do the thing you’d have to do. If you let yourself know.
00;12;03;17 – 00;12;23;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
You don’t want to know what you really do know, because you don’t want to have to do the thing you’d have to do if you let yourself know. Meaning you actually don’t want to know in some ways that not your spirit spirit’s always here to party. Like the spiritual side of your nature, your higher self is always like, let’s love, let’s grow, let’s party.
00;12;23;27 – 00;12;45;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
The human side of your nature doesn’t want to know because it doesn’t like change. Because change to the nervous system means that I could be in danger. We’re not really going to die if we change, but our nervous system makes us feel like we will. So part of this is saying, okay, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to know what I really do know, because I don’t want to have to do the thing.
00;12;45;23 – 00;13;07;10
Lauren Brollier Newton
So if you’re the person who feels stuck in a job or stuck in a relationship or, wanting to take the next step to grow your coaching business, and yet you feel stuck, there is a part of you most likely that doesn’t want to know what you really do know, doesn’t want to know the step, or doesn’t want to know the answer because the thought of taking it is hecka scary.
00;13;07;12 – 00;13;25;21
Lauren Brollier Newton
And so let’s just take a breath with that. That yes, there has been a part of me up until now that doesn’t want to know what I really do now. No, but now that I’ve stopped saying I’m stuck, and now that I’ve noticed all the places where I’m not stuck, now I’m ready to look at. And Mary always says, it takes courage to look.
00;13;25;23 – 00;13;48;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
Now I’m willing to look at what it is. I actually do know about getting unstuck, not letting fear get me on that one, because ultimately it’s all going to be okay. You know, I want to just point out, for all of us that you actually, right now listening to this podcast, have a 100% success record on everything you’ve done in your life.
00;13;48;08 – 00;14;22;03
Lauren Brollier Newton
You know why? Because you’re here. You’re breathing. None of the bad things, the good things, the ups, the downs, none of them have gotten you. You have a 100% track record for surviving change, for surviving hard days, for thought. You have 100% success record on that already. Did you know that? So any kind of thing that your fear is trying to tell you, if you change, if you make the move, if you take the step, something that’s going to happen, know, say back to it, excuse me, I have 100% track record for surviving 100%.
00;14;22;06 – 00;14;41;19
Lauren Brollier Newton
So go away. Fear. All right, step number four. Now that I’m willing to face what I really do know. Oh, I do want to leave this job. I do want to grow my coaching business. I do want to let go of this relationship. Whatever the thing is that’s make you feel stuck, even if you’re the person, feel stuck because you don’t know your vision or you don’t know what you want.
00;14;41;21 – 00;14;58;21
Lauren Brollier Newton
I’m again, I’m going to say you actually do know. Step number three. You don’t want to know what you really do know, because you don’t want to have to do the thing you’d have to do if you let yourself know. So that brings us to step four. Your move is to generate the feeling tone of it all, working out.
00;14;58;23 – 00;15;25;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
So if you had a magic wand, put the how was I put what you’d have to do aside. And if you had a magic wand and it all worked out, what would you be doing with a magic wand? What would it be? And it’s okay if you hear an answer like, I quit this job or I’d take this step or whatever, whatever.
00;15;25;09 – 00;15;46;22
Lauren Brollier Newton
If I had a magic wand, it all worked out. I’d be on a stage somewhere, or I’d be doing this, or I’d be falling in love again. Or I’d be, on podcasts or whatever it is that you hear with a magic wand. It all worked out perfect. That’s the vision. So if you’re the person who’s like, I have no idea what I want, whatever came up for you right there, that’s it right there.
00;15;46;24 – 00;16;19;24
Lauren Brollier Newton
If you’re the person who knows exactly what you want with that magic wand, great. Now I want to speak to the person. If you’re the person who really, truly feels like nothing came up. Lauren, I really don’t know. With a magic wand, then something I guarantee 100% guarantee you do know is how you want to feel. Because not one of us wakes up in the morning and visions for waking up with arthritis, or waking up feeling crappy, or waking up feeling like we don’t love our life.
00;16;19;27 – 00;16;38;16
Lauren Brollier Newton
If you know how you’d love to feel, you actually do know where you want to go. So if you’re sitting here and you’re going, well, I love to feel passionate about my life. All right then just make the the magic wand be. I’m so grateful that I feel passionate about my life every day. And that’s all you have to say.
00;16;38;16 – 00;17;02;26
Lauren Brollier Newton
Like that in and of itself is a vision of of you feel passionate. What this does, what step four will do is when I get on a frequency of passionate or happy or peaceful or speaking on a stage, I start to feel feelings that are not stuck at all. And the only place stuck exists is in our mind.
00;17;02;28 – 00;17;33;05
Lauren Brollier Newton
The only place stuck exists is in our mind. So if I get myself in my mind to this feeling place where I feel passionate and I’m on that stage, or I’m doing that thing, or I’m on podcast episodes, or I’m in that relationship or whatever it is, you are unstuck right there. And from that frequency, that place where you can actually feel what it would feel like to feel passionate about your life or to be thriving and just let that go from the top of your head to the tippy tips of your toes.
00;17;33;07 – 00;17;56;09
Lauren Brollier Newton
More will reveal itself to you, and it doesn’t have to reveal it to you today. If you just stay in these four steps, you will feel so different even after three days or four days. So make a commitment to yourself right now. If you’re the person who’s been feeling a little bit stuck in some area of your life, how many days are you willing to do these steps with me?
00;17;56;11 – 00;18;21;20
Lauren Brollier Newton
One day. One day works. One day is an amazing start. Two days a week, a 30 day experiment. Commit to it. This will take you somewhere, I promise you that. So let’s review the four steps. Stop saying you’re stuck. And if for some reason you feel like you have to journal it or say it out loud or whatever, just say part of me feels because it isn’t all of you.
00;18;21;22 – 00;18;45;01
Lauren Brollier Newton
Step number two notice all the places where you aren’t stuck, even if it’s making a charcuterie board. Notice all the places where you are moving. There is forward movement. You laughed on the phone with a friend today like I wasn’t stuck there. Like any place where you don’t feel stuck, notice that step number three realizing that you actually do know.
00;18;45;03 – 00;19;08;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
You do know a step. You do know what you want, because the only reason that you would feel confusion is because you don’t want to know what you really do know, because you don’t want to have to do the thing you’d have to do. If you let yourself know. And then finally go to a place of vision. A place of if I had a magic wand, I don’t have to know how.
00;19;08;07 – 00;19;31;11
Lauren Brollier Newton
It doesn’t have to be reasonable. It doesn’t have to be rational. But if I had a magic wand and could just wave it over my life, what would be occurring? And if even you can’t get there, one place you can get for sure is how you would love to feel. And you magnetize that, and you emanate that, and you let it go from the top of your head to the tippy tip of your toe, and you feel that feeling.
00;19;31;11 – 00;20;02;23
Lauren Brollier Newton
And if you feel it long enough. But Proctor used to say, there is a place, meaning that place, right? There is a place where you are unstuck and we’ve done it. We’ve solved it. Now know this. I know for you, without a shadow of a doubt. You do these four steps, you will walk yourself into a whole new result a beautiful, forward moving momentum building, a snowball effect way of moving forward.
00;20;02;26 – 00;20;08;06
Lauren Brollier Newton
I love you very much and I’ll see you in the next episode.
00;20;08;09 – 00;20;15;07
Lauren Brollier Newton
Thanks for joining me this week on The Abundant Coach. Visit our website at Brave Thinking institute.com/coach.
00;20;15;09 – 00;20;19;09
Lauren Brollier Newton
Certification where you can dive even deeper with additional resources.
00;20;19;09 – 00;20;39;14
Lauren Brollier Newton
And exciting opportunities. Be sure to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcast so you’ll never miss an episode. And while you’re at it, if you loved the show, please rate and review to find out how to jump start your abundant coaching career and more about my journey to seven figure coach, check out our free.
00;20;39;15 – 00;20;47;00
Lauren Brollier Newton
Meant to Be a Life Coach quiz available at BTI com slash coach quiz. I’ll see you in the next episode.
