A few years ago, I received a call from a friend of mine who was ecstatic after a breakthrough weekend that he’d just had with his daughter.
That previous Friday afternoon, he’d driven to his daughter’s college campus for the annual Parent’s Weekend.
Between her school work, her boyfriend and her packed social schedule, his daughter’s calendar always seemed to be wonderfully full – and this being her senior year, she seemed to be even busier than usual!
The dad was very excited at the opportunity to spend some quality time with her, just the two of them.
The dad told me that the weekend was nothing short of magical.
She took him on a tour of the campus, he met many of her close friends, they enjoyed meals and walks together, and participated in a few fun bonding activities that were part of the Parent’s Weekend.
Several times throughout the weekend, the dad felt a deep knowing that he’d look fondly on this weekend for the rest of his life.
As they ate a late lunch together on Sunday, just before he was to leave campus, the dad noticed the polarity of two feelings within him…
He felt gratitude for the time they’d had together, but also sadness that the weekend was over.
He said to his daughter:
“I’ve loved having this time with you! It means so much to me that you invited me here this weekend, especially since this is your last year here. We’ll never have another opportunity to enjoy a weekend like this.”
Then, he noticed that the more he thought about how much he’d miss having this alone time with his daughter, the worse he felt.
The dad realized that the more he gave energy to those feelings of loss and sadness, they deeper and deeper they became.
Being familiar with transformational principles, the dad quickly realized that, by giving his energy to what he didn’t want, he was expanding the very presence of what he didn’t want in his life.
And so, after a few moments of reflection, he decided to stop focusing on what he felt was lacking or missing in his life, and focus instead on what he would love to create – more opportunities just like this one to connect with his daugher!
Looking into his daughter’s eyes, he then said:
“Wait, why does this have to be our last father-daughter bonding weekend? Why don’t we make a decision for our whole lives that, one weekend a year, we’ll have a dad and daughter weekend, just the two of us?”
His daughter absolutely loved the idea, and so, the two of them decided on making this a new tradition for the rest of their lives.
Perhaps they could even have fun t-shirts made for each of their father-daughter weekends each year!
On the phone with me, he said:
“We made a decision that, even when she’s married, even when she has kids, even when I’m a grandfather, that we will set aside the time to spend one weekend a year together to honor our relationship. I feel like I just won a Parent’s Weekend for life!”
The first step to transforming any dream from imagination into reality is to realize that what you choose to focus on expands.
It’s easy to focus on what we don’t like about our life. But when you do this, what you’re communicating to yourself is that your current circumstances or conditions are more powerful than you are – and this is never the case!
So, whether you want more time to connect with your loved ones, or to meet your soulmate, find a more fulfilling and inspiring career, or any other dream you may have for your life…
When you notice yourself longing and wishing that things were another way, stop and remember that you always have the power to choose what you’re going to focus on.
Next, make the powerful decision to shift your focus, and give the energy of thoughts to focusing instead on what it is that you would truly love… and then make a simple decision to do one thing today to begin bringing that which you would love into existence!
And now, I have a question for you…
What’s one thing that you can do today to pour more energy and focus into what you would truly love to create for yourself and your life?
In honor of Father’s Day, it may be to connect with the father figure in your life, and to let them know they’re appreciated for the contribution they’ve made in your life.
Or, you may choose to take a step toward a different dream that you have for some other part of your life!
Go ahead and share what step you’re going to take today toward one of your dreams in the comments below – I’d love to hear from you!
Debbie Ballentine
I am going to be more aware of those thoughts that take me on the path I don’t want… Then shift those thoughts on the things and people I love… Like my grandchildren and the love of my life, who is waiting for me. ? I will always focus on the now, not what is.. ??????
Maria
Thank you for remind me of how we focus on what we don’t want. By reading this email I can see clearly in details how I derail my mind from focusing on what I want. What a great way to explain it and especially on Father’s day! Thank you
Liz Aiello
To sing more- my hearts desire and God given talent.
Ruth Ann Dobbin
I want more time with my family with no fighting.
Delia
This is awesome. I will do that with my son and pass on this that tradition to him to see if he wants to do that with his daughters.
Pat
I enjoy those visits from the grandkids and their families. I will focus on making the time and space for those gatherings quarlerly, at least.
John Thayer
Thank you for the story and the reminder!!
Diane Manning
I am looking forward to having a wonderful expansion of my job of teaching swimming to children of all ages and to be
able to plan my day from the lovely new apt. that I am now next in line to get at a newer Senior apt building in a town near a friend of mine!
I would like to be one of those in charge of teaching the Krazelburg system of swimming knowing how good it is and how much progress I have seen with it!
My kindest regards to myself!
Terise Bransford
I have done this for years with my four children 19,25,29,34. Each year I make sure to run away with at least one of them for a mother-daughter/mother-son weekend. These weekends are filled with precious memories and one on one individual time together. This gives us the opportunity to keep our relationship strong as it changes and they move to adulthood. Even though two of them have families of their own (nursing infant have joined us) we still hold sacred this special time together.
Sheila
Spending more time with my twin sister who lives in Austin, Texas. I live in Charlotte, NC. Eventually we will spend time together at my future home near Beech Mtn, a dream family retreat.
Ronald Scott
Thank you Mary.
I find it hard to think of the things and people I love. This was a good reminder.
kim
After just reading this, I’m realizing how much I am keeping myself in a negative mindset about my relationship w/ my boyfriend. I’m focusing on what’s wrong, instead of picturing what I want. This was a good lesson, today.
Stacey Sigurdson
Very good and powerful observation. Thank you for sharing this. Although this is a simple principle, it is so subtle it is easily missed in life. Thank you very much. Gratefully
Stacey
Stephanie Wing-Garcia
I got chocked up reading that. That’s such a great story. I love the simplicity of his desire. It doesn’t have to be some big life changing dream to make life sweet. What a gift.
Harold Hepfer
Thank you for sharing this with me. You have a great message that you are sharing.