Learn how to identify your limiting beliefs and remove the invisible blocks keeping you from accomplishing your dreams
If you’ve struggled to achieve real transformation in your life, sometimes despite your best intentions and effort…
Your progress and success may be blocked by a limiting belief (or several!).
In this post, you’ll learn:
- What limiting beliefs are
- Examples of common limiting beliefs
- A simple exercise to identify what limiting beliefs might be impacting your life
- And how to begin to overcome your limiting beliefs and finally break free
And how to begin to overcome your limiting beliefs and finally break free
What are Limiting Beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves or the world.
Limiting beliefs:
- Can keep us from pursuing and achieving what we desire (and what we need)
- Are formed unconsciously and often rooted in childhood
- Are treated as truths by the brain
- Are often part of a fixed mindset and are not supported by objective evidence
- Can be defensive mechanisms, absolute statements, fears, excuses, or assumptions about what’s true about ourselves or the world
Our beliefs determine our reality. The way that we interpret our experiences and respond to our environment are directly influenced by the beliefs we hold.
The good news is, all beliefs are flexible and can be changed!
Changing our thinking helps us begin to change our beliefs. When we change our beliefs, we change our behavior. When we change our behavior, we change the results we experience in our lives.
Common Limiting Beliefs Examples
Limiting beliefs are usually absolute statements that are designed to keep us small, stuck, and safe.
Your subconscious mind- where all limiting beliefs are stored- is biologically designed to keep you alive and safe, above all else. As such, it interprets the unfamiliar as dangerous. Similarly, it also interprets rejection, isolation, unexpected negative experiences, and actions outside of your comfort zone as potentially unsafe.
Limiting beliefs usually fall into one of 4 categories:
- Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
- Fear of Loyalty and Abandonment
- Fear of the Burden of Success
- Fear of Outshining
1 – The Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
If you’ve ever experienced imposter syndrome, you understand the fear of being fundamentally flawed. These beliefs tell you that you’re inherently not good enough, even when all evidence shows you that it’s not true.
These beliefs might sound like:
- I am not enough
- I am not smart enough.
- I don’t deserve success.
- I have to be perfect.
2 – Fear of Loyalty and Abandonment
The people in your life have an amazing influence on you. Your goals and success impact them and their opinion impacts you.
These beliefs might sound like:
- They won’t like me anymore.
- I have to work in the family business or my family will reject me.
- I don’t have time for a great career and my family.
3 – Fear of the Burden of Success
There are responsibilities that go along with any type of success. You might not fully recognize this, but you might fear being able to cope with these extra challenges.
Negative beliefs in this category might sound like:
- Someone might steal from me or try to take advantage of me.
- I might be criticized by others.
- I have to worry about complex taxes and paying more money to the government.
- I’m afraid to fail. If I do, everyone will judge me.
4 – Fear of Outshining
Fear of outshining means you’re worried about how your success will impact the people who are close to you.
Common language for these beliefs might be:
- My spouse’s dreams are not as big as mine.
- My parents and siblings will feel bad if I make more money than them.
- My friends will be jealous or resentful if I leave them behind.
How to Identify Limiting Beliefs Impacting the Areas of Your Life
In order to identify the limiting beliefs holding you back, you have to find what your brain believes it’s protecting you from.
The easiest way to accomplish this is through the power of your imagination.
Step 1: Choose an Area of Longing or Discontent
Choose the area or areas of your life in which you feel the most longing and discontent. One at a time, imagine the best possible outcome for that area of your life. Create a clear image of what you desire most.
Step 2: Look for Qualifiers
As you imagine this version of reality, do the following:
Say the statement, “This outcome is 100% possible for me…” and pause to look for any qualifiers that might come up.
Qualifiers are statements that contradict or add requirements and exceptions to the truth you want to claim.
These often are “yes, but” statements like:
- “This outcome is 100% possible for me, but…“
- “This outcome is 100% possible for me, except…“
- “This outcome is 100% possible for me, if...”
- “This outcome is 100% possible for me, when…“
Step 3: Create Belief Statements
Next, translate your qualifier into a belief statement by moving the qualifier to the front of the sentence and adding a “so” and completing the sentence. Your goal is to clarify how that specific qualifier impacts your vision.
For example, if you’re imagining a reality in which you have a supportive, loving relationship, this qualifier might come up: “This reality is 100% possible for me… but I always choose the wrong partner.”
A belief statement could be: I always choose the wrong partner, so… finding love isn’t possible.
Another qualifier that might come up is: “This reality is 100% possible for me…except I’m overweight.”
A belief statement could be: I’m overweight, so… no one will be attracted to me anyway.
Step 4: Find Deeper Meaning & Themes
Finally, look for the deeper meaning in each statement.
The “deeper meaning” is usually a broad, absolute statement about yourself or the world. It’s usually related to the “bad thing” that might happen if you were to completely remove that qualifier and actually achieve your desire.
As you explore the meaning behind each of your belief statements, group similar belief statements together and look for common themes
How it Works: An Example of the 4 Steps in Action
Step 1: Imagine the area of your life in which you feel the most longing and discontent is your income. You would really love to make more money.
Imagine a reality in which you have all of the income you desire and in exactly the way that feels most aligned for you. Be as specific as possible. Pay attention to any resistance or emotions that may come up as you piece together this image.
Step 2: Then, while holding that image in your mind, claim it. Say, “This outcome is 100% possible for me…” Pause and allow any contradictory thoughts or qualifiers to come to mind.
Note: Since qualifiers are usually subconscious, it helps to do this in a quiet place where you are unlikely to be distracted or interrupted. Many people find their qualifiers are quiet, subtle hints rather than loud, direct thoughts.
Write down all of the qualifiers you can think of in response to your vision. These could be things like:
- This income reality is 100% possible for me… but I don’t have a degree.
- This income reality is 100% possible for me… except no one in my family has ever made that much.
- This income reality is 100% possible for me… if only I deserved it.
- This income reality is 100% possible for me… but I’d have to work all the time to make that much.
Step 3: Next, translate each qualifier into a belief statement. For example:
- I don’t have a degree so… I won’t ever make that much money.
- No one else in my family has ever made the income I desire… so I can’t either.
- I don’t deserve the income I desire…so it isn’t possible for someone like me.
- I’d have to work all the time to make the income I desire…so I won’t have time for the things I love.
Step 4: Finally, look for the deeper meaning behind each belief statement, and group similar beliefs together. For example:
- Not having a degree means I’m not qualified or smart enough to make the income I desire. If I removed that qualifier and got a job making that money anyway, it’d only be a matter of time before I failed. I don’t have what it takes to succeed.
- Since no one else in my family has made this kind of income, it means I probably can’t either. If I removed that qualifier and made more money than anyone else in my family, I wouldn’t belong. I’d be rejected by the people I love. If I make an abundant income I’ll end up alone.
- Not deserving the income I desire means there’s something wrong with me. If I removed that qualifier and made the money anyway, I’d just mess it up like I do everything else. I’m not good enough for good things in life.
- I’d have to work all the time to make the money I desire because people would expect more from me. I’d have to give up everything I loved and wouldn’t be able to enjoy the money I made anyway. You can’t have money and freedom. Good things always come with a cost.
In this example, the limiting beliefs are:
- I don’t have what it takes to succeed.
- If I make an abundant income, I’ll end up alone.
- I’m not enough for good things in life.
- Good things always come with a cost.
How to Release Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, you’ll be able to begin the process of releasing them. Remember, these beliefs are blocking your path to the life you long to create, but they were also created to keep you safe.
The first step to releasing your limiting beliefs is to assess their accuracy.
Often, these beliefs were formed in early childhood and have grown over time. And while there’s a part of us that treats them as truth, the reality is, they’re often illogical and lack objective evidence.
When negative thoughts come up, pause and evaluate whether or not there is any concrete evidence to support their validity.
Most likely, there is not!
Then, choose a more empowering belief to create a positive affirmation for yourself. You can support your brain in accepting positive beliefs by also acknowledging the “part” of you that has been trying to keep you safe while claiming your new truth.
For example, if the belief “I don’t have what it takes to succeed” comes up, you might:
- Pause and look for evidence that you have succeeded in the past. (No success is too small! Remember, your subconscious mind has created a belief it is using as the absolute truth. So, any wiggle room in how true it really is helps make space for new beliefs.)
- Then, choose a new, more empowering belief like: “I am learning and growing every day. New things are always possible, including new levels of success.”
- Create a supportive, positive affirmation by acknowledging the part of you that held the limiting belief. For example, “Even though part of me believes I don’t have what it takes to succeed… I choose to remember that I am learning and growing every day. New things are always possible, including new levels of success.”
Repeat this process every time your limiting beliefs are triggered.
Before you know it, your new, empowering beliefs will take hold and replace your old, limiting beliefs.
Dive Deeper & Transform Your Life!
Once you’ve tackled your limiting beliefs… What’s next?
How do you translate new beliefs into a new reality?
I’d love to show you how!
In my masterclass, “The 3 Keys to Living an Extraordinary Life”, I’m excited to teach YOU the foundational principles of my proven, transformational system, so you can start creating your dream life today.
No matter what limiting beliefs you’ve been carrying…
Or what longing and discontent you feel in your life…
Once you know these 3 keys, and start applying my system of transformation to your life, you don’t have to guess what to do anymore – you can simply follow the steps and watch your life transform.
Start transforming your life today! Get instant access here!
sherri tubbs
i get homesick for my school. i have a weak leg where i cant walk. i use to go to class in person but i am online now and its hard.
Brave Thinking Institute
I’m so sorry to hear that, Sherri — shifting to online when you’re used to going in person can be hard! I know many of us felt that way when we had to move our events online after they had always been in person, but Mary encouraged us to find the silver lining and the opportunity in the shift. I wonder if that’s possible for you too?
Sabrina
thanl you so much I would like to know more
Tombra
Thanks, for helping us to come out from our shame of chain .
Mark
I don’t have any of those beliefs, my belief is that I’m in the most selfish,controling egotistical state in the country, but my neighbor says that New Jersey is worst than Hopkinsville, KY. and everytime you think you can move out they seem to come up with a plan to where you can’t. So my belief is that I’m stuck in a f**ked up state.
Brave Thinking Institute
I understand that! There are many people who aren’t able to accomplish everything they’d love to accomplish because of the limitations of where they live. Mary always says to focus on what you can do, with what you have, from where you are — and it isn’t a coincidence she includes “from where you are.” What could be possible for you, no matter how small, even from your current state?